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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I asked my boyfriend what he thinks of my body and he says dunno it’s alright!

180 replies

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 07:41

I was asking because he’s had a mix of girls in the past, some big some small. Wasn’t really a great response was it? Or should I have not asked. He could have just said something nice tho.

OP posts:
Lilac95 · 02/12/2020 07:48

Wel he’s kind of right, what did you want him to say? You clearly wanted a positive response, if he’d been negative would you have given him an earful? He’s gone the diplomatic route to avoid confrontation. If you like your body then be happy, he’s with you so he clearly loves it too.

Pinkflipflop85 · 02/12/2020 07:55

It's a loaded question and usually one where whatever the answer he gave he would probably be 'wrong'.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 02/12/2020 07:58

What do you think of your body op ? That's the only important thing .

SendHelp30 · 02/12/2020 07:59

But unfair to of asked I think. He clearly finds you attractive or wouldn’t be with you, who cares about exes. Be confident & happy in yourself

Thepilotlightsgoneout · 02/12/2020 08:00

Why would you ask a question like that? You’re setting him up to fail and it makes you look insecure. Be confident!

jessstan1 · 02/12/2020 08:01

That sounds like a bloke's answer :-), especially if he isn't given to OTT statements. If you asked him to describe himself he'd probably say, "Dunno, just ordinary".

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 08:02

He probably felt put on the spot and had no idea how to answer in the moment. I'd not give it anymore thought but maybe don't ask that sort of question if future. It's one of those situations where his actions speak louder - he's with you and presumably enjoys your body so clearly likes it.

Picktionary · 02/12/2020 08:03

If someone asked me that I would have said something nice. Cos I am nice and would want my gf/bf/friend to feel good and confident.

Namechange1983 · 02/12/2020 08:04

It wasn’t me who brought up the topic and he was holding me in bed in the time and I just said oh what you think about mine then thinking as he being silly and squeezing me he might say something but just dunno. We’d also just had sex so did feel a little deflated.

OP posts:
TwoZeroTwoZero · 02/12/2020 08:04

If you don't like the answer, don't ask the question.

TwoZeroTwoZero · 02/12/2020 08:04

Sorry, x-posted.

Bluntness100 · 02/12/2020 08:05

Fishing for compliments has this risk op.

fantasmasgoria1 · 02/12/2020 08:05

This is only my opinion but I would not have liked that response either. I have no body confidence due to past abuse etc and my Fiance always tells me how gorgeous and sexy my body is. Mind you if you put someone on the spot they sometimes struggle to get out what they mean!

Palavah · 02/12/2020 08:06

how did he bring up the topic?

gannett · 02/12/2020 08:06

I'd probably mumble something similar about DP's (very nice) body if put on the spot.

Very weird question to ask out of nowhere and with no right answer.

puttergal · 02/12/2020 08:13

I would definitely have answered like your bf did - I'm too honest!
Most of us are average looks wise - that's ok.

MarthasGinYard · 02/12/2020 08:14

'I just said oh what you think about mine then'

Whose body had you/he been taking about previously?

Ohalrightthen · 02/12/2020 08:14

In the context that you describe I'd have assumed he was trying to be funny!

Groovinpeanut · 02/12/2020 08:19

It's a dodgy question to ask. Poor guy went with a 'safe' answer.
He's with you, so he must find you attractive on all levels. His ex's are just that. Don't let their history impact on your confidence.

bert3400 · 02/12/2020 08:25

Maybe he doesn't have an opinion about your body because he's in love with your personality. Blokes in my opinion are far less interested in what a woman's body looks like than what woman are( with all our hangups). To them confidence is the sexy thing not pert tits or whatever other 'body ideals' we think blokes look for
As pp have said, don't ask the question if you not willing to like the answer

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 02/12/2020 08:25

It doesn't sound like words are his thing. What are his hands expressing?

maureenfrombarnsley · 02/12/2020 08:28

Can see why you're a bit hurt, OP. People can tell you not to risk asking but unless you got together as a fitness model and you're now 3 times the size and given up shaving, it's not much to expect your own BF to say something nicer.

midnightstar66 · 02/12/2020 08:30

t wasn’t me who brought up the topic and he was holding me in bed in the time and I just said oh what you think about mine then thinking as he being silly and squeezing me he might say something but just dunno. We’d also just had sex so did feel a little deflated.

He brought up the subject of other women's bodies while holding you after sex? That would be a bigger issue than his answer.

Simbidian · 02/12/2020 08:35

I would hope he considers the most important parts of you to be your mind and personality.

MarthasGinYard · 02/12/2020 08:36

Maybe lying in bed asking shapes and sizes of his ex's wasn't your smartest move.

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