Accused of cheating - beginning of Relationship

[Lalata]

Hi everyone, I met a great guy About a month ago. He brings me flowers, open doors, he is very affectionate and really into me. I like him a lot too. However, last time I saw him he wasn’t as affectionate as he usually is so I send him a message later on asking if he is ok and his reply was that he is very sorry, but he has a feeling I cheated. And that it’s probably irrational and it’s his insecurities, but he is not sure he can get over it. I’m shocked. I didn’t cheat of course. What now? It’s so strange! We will talk about it tonight as he is coming for dinner. But I’m kind of freaked out

Sounds unhinged. Time to move on.

I would dump him
Why would he think that?

Red flag!!!! He has no evidence, just a feeling He will try and control you OP and he sounds paranoid and insecure. You will end up walking on eggshells to not upset him.

Hills are that way, start running.

Sounds a bit possessive. I’d see that as a huge red flag and move on I think.

I wouldn’t be cooking dinner for him.

Cancel dinner
End this so called relationship now.
Red flags are flying high here re this man and you minimise those at your emotional peril. He is now showing you who he really is, he could maintain the nice act for one mere month.

In terms of red flags think of Tiananmen Square on May day.

After a month?

Sounds like love bombing and now controlling. It's very early in the relationship for this drama. I'd cancel tonight and move on.

Are you really going to spend an evening defending yourself against his allegations?

He’s cheated on you. Guaranteed

Impossible to have a relationship with people who act strangely because of random ideas they get.

Damaging to have a relationship with people who make things up in order to control you.

He's not sure he can get over it? Wtf? There's literally nothing to get over!

Discuss it with him tonight if you like OP. But DO NOT apologise or promise to change your behaviour in any way at all. He's the one with the problem here and that must be absolutely clear to both of you.

I’m definitely angry. I will not be apologising or changing behaviour. I will ask him to apologise if anything. I’m just so confused

Walk away. Don't look back.

If it was something he'd suspected, why didn't he ask to speak to you straight away? I would cancel dinner and offer to meet in a public place to discuss this, see what he says but be prepared to call it a day. Be very careful OP.

Cancel dinner... this man is showing you that he will accuse you of being unfaithful after 4 weeks of dating and zero evidence ... RED flags galore... do not accommodate this weirdo ... you are allowing him to manipulate you by even entertaining dinner ... end it 🌺

Run.

Bad sign.
Either he's controlling, or he's judging you by his own standards, or he's testing whether you'll beg, etc.

Whatever it is, he's not worth hanging onto.

If he is like this after 4 weeks, what the hell will he be like after 4 months or 4 years? My guess is an abusive arsehole who will sap the very core out of you with a side order of violence.

Quickly learn all you can about narcissism. Love bombing, cycle of idealisation, devalue and discard, blowing hot and cold, DARVO. Cancel your plans. What he is doing is called narcissistic abuse

He’s projecting or extremely insecure. Either way dump him OP find man not a child.

Massive red flag op, leg it!

Agree with the love bombing, controlling and likely he has cheated. The suspicious ones are always up to no good themselves, that's why they think others are unfaithful.

Think of the first few months of a relationship as probation. He didn't pass.

Say thank you next

What now??
You break it off. A month in to a 'relationship' is still dating and checking each other out. You've found out that hes an irrational controlling paranoid man so your only response needs to be to break it off. You can't make him change or be different so don't try.