Would this bother you? Dh very ‘transactional’

[Blueredlight]

Dd (4) is very much devoted to me, it’s normal I think at 4, and dh doesn’t do much with her or spend that much time with her.

Tonight at bedtime he said I love you and she said ‘I love you but I love mummy more.’ His response was ‘I love you but I love your brother more, which is why he will get loads of Christmas presents and you won’t get any.’
Dd then started crying and he said ‘oh and your brother will get fifteen birthdays and you won’t get one at all.’
Then he went downstairs and left me with the wailing.
I’m sure she loves him loads more now

It’s not an isolated event.
It’s not a normal response, is it?

[lottiegarbanzo]

Yes, he won't want to have to look after them. He'll be full of threats and bluster, then either bugger off and leave you to it, or swiftly get a new GF and expect her to do the childcare (or his mum).

[orangejuicer]

You seem content to expose your kids to this man. Unbelievable.

[squeekums]

His emotional abuse of her risks turning physical as she gets older and don't obey him and sticks up for herself.
She already picks up on his crap.

I was estranged by 15 cos my father went from a lifetime of "i love your brother more" "you came from the reject shop" or "i was a mistake" to physical abuse when I started to stick up for myself at 11/12ish

The mental toll it took on me is still prevalent to this day, I'm 32 now
You have a shot to protect her
Do it

[Chr1sTophat1070]

My 11 year old stays with me at the weekend, I left her mum nearly 9 years ago. About a year after I'd left I'd got a house and just finished decorating daughters room before she came to stay. She'd have been 4 at the time. While I was tucking her in I asked if she liked the house and her room, she said it was great, then said "is it true you left my mummy because you hated me, because that's what my mummy told me yesteŕday". Then she dozed off and left me sitting there speechless. Must have sat on her floor for close to an hour going over what she'd said to me in my head. To me that's emotional abuse and an attempt to sabotage my relationship with the kid. I'd put it as no different from what your partners said unfortunately. I hope he learns to act his age soon because it causes nothing but heartbreak