Post your husband watches live private sex shows - that's fine, it's just porn, all men do it
@QuentinWinters
I also completely agree with Quentin and hope you are OK.
It feels painful to admit this - but my first Ex started to go off me when I was pregnant. I had such a horrible lonely time. He was so distant with me, when I wanted to just have a some lovely affectionate time. Like just watch TV together, make nice meals, shop for baby clothes. Birth was horrendous and I was very ill. Two months after the birth my Ex said that ‘he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore’. I left when our child was just a young baby and it was so hard doing everything by myself. I’ve never felt so let down. Ex told me that he didn’t think I was ‘that into sex’ and that ‘maybe I was a lesbian’. He complained while I was pregnant and after that I ‘didn’t really give enough blow jobs’. He would say that he felt very frustrated he didn’t have enough sex. Yet he didn’t want me. Or sometimes he would but it seemed to be completely bypassing ‘me’ if that makes sense, and felt totally wrong, or just wanted me to give him a blow job and that was it, so I’d say ‘this doesn’t feel great or loving’ and he’d get angry, and then in a mood for days.
Ex had started to watch porn while I was pregnant. Lots of women with massive boobs and tiny waists. Giving blow jobs and taking hard sex I imagine. All the while I was just dying for some affection, I felt really alone and vulnerable. My own body changing. I felt quite sexual and yet all my advances, like kisses, cuddles, wanting loving sex, were spurned. I wondered if my changing body was repulsive.
There were other reasons that we separated of course. But I do believe that my Ex was watching porn and it led to his love for me completely dying - sex and love in a relationship are entertwined - but you watch Porn and it takes a huge great chainsaw through loving sex. Not least because you are watching people have sex for money, when they feel no love whatsoever. Lust by itself without love or respect is a power play.
And sorry to be so frank about sex here. However this is what this thread is about. I’ve not idea how some woman can compartmentalise and say that ‘their man watched porn’ and it’s normal, and it doesn’t affect their relationship. Of course it does. No man or woman NEEDS porn when they have a real live person that they can have great, loving sex with. It’s so fucked up but it causes huge damage.
It took me several years to recover my self esteem about my own sexuality. I had been rejected and crushed. Ex is now with a woman half his age who is obsessed with having the perfect tanned body etc. There is no surprise here that directing your sexual energy into such a dark, superficial world affects your real life attitudes and world. And now there is a child who has grown up without a family around him, and had to suffer those consequences.
