My husband cheated on me with our nanny

[Anab2010]

The biggest cliche ever. And it happened to me. Found out 2 days ago and I am absolutely devastated. I can't sleep, I can't eat I can't think. In our house. For 2 months. I feel sick. We have a 4 year old and I have had a miscarriage last month. And one 6m ago. I was crumbling anyway.
She's moved out ( I've kicked her out), he wants us to try and make it...
But how??? How can I ever feel normal again let alone trust him. I have a feeling as if someone died. Our marriage wasn't ideal and we have been drifting apart... but there is no excuse🤮

I needed to let it out...😭😤

[millionaireshortie]

Oh my gosh! I can't even fathom that scenario. Is this even real life. You poor poor lady.

[spudlike1]

Never trust him again . i know the pain is unbearable , its not your fault.
you will learn to live with the pain and live without him start the process now.
many have been through this .
seek support . on and off line
Never trust him again
im sorry

[lemmathelemmin]

Unprofessional of her, what a bitch. Your husband is a piece of shit too.

[Nymeriastark1]

@Auntyfungal surely she wouldn't do that? What case would she have.
Nanny: I've been unfairly dismissed.
Lawyer: Ok, what happened?
Nanny: The wife sacked me because I was shagging her husband in their bed when I was meant to be watching the kids.....

[bananaskinsnomnom]

I don’t have much I can add op, but 💐 for you.

I think the thing you must do now (which will be hard because you will be all over the place) is get your ducks in a row. Make official contact with a solicitor about separation / divorce. Get your finances ready too. Pardon me if im wrong, if you had a nanny does that mean you were working? Make sure your finances head towards you, not into a joint account.

Also please don’t feel like you are the one who has to leave. This is just so similar to what one of my closest friends is going though and her now ex is very much “well you’ve decided to leave, I wanted to try and make it work so it’s up to you to find a new place to live”. It sickens me. HE has wrecked the marriage. Not you. Please don’t forget that xx

[lookatmememe]

That's so awful. There's no coming back from that. What a stupid man.

[Raella50]

This is truly disgusting - kick him out OP!

[MrsNoah2020]

The icing on the cake would be the nanny suing you for unfair dismissal

Not likely if she has been employed for less than 2 years, though - in the circumstances - she might conceivably claim sexual harassment and discrimination. She'd have to be pretty ballsy to take this to an ET though, especially in the absence of an age-gap power dynamic.

[Rubbleonthedouble1]

Tell him to leave. I know it’s easier said than done but you will never forget and forgive this 💐

[Nymeriastark1]

Op seriously good riddance to him. You and the kids deserve better.

[Branleuse]

I dont think there is any point trying to make it work. Would slowly destroy you. Youre better off ripping the plaster off fast, kicking him out and trying to rebuild yourself.

[TheClitterati]

He desperately doesn't want to be "the guy who had an affair with the nanny while is wife suffered miscarriages" and he's backpedaling hoping he can manipulate your response. But he is that guy and he can't do anything to change that.

Sorry this has happened op. Take all the space and time you need - your life has been turned upside down.

[CallmeAngelina]

Oh dear Lord!!! You SAW them???
I don't see how you're going to be able to get over that.
for you.

[pandafunfactory]

Good grief how awful!

You were upstairs grieving your miscarriages and they were shagging on the kitchen table?

Throw him out. There's cheating and then there's cheating. This is very bad.

[Anab2010]

@millionaireshortie

Oh my gosh! I can't even fathom that scenario. Is this even real life. You poor poor lady.

Thats what I ask myself- is this real? Will I wake up from this nightmare?
I feel like if someone close has died, the only time I felt broken like this is when my father passed away when I was 18.
We are due to fly for a holiday on Fri, we just bought a house abroad on the coast ( in a country where I am from). I've been wanting to move back for some time. This has just made my decision easier. He'll have to move too if he wants to see his child on a daily basis...

[BobFleming]

How awful. I hope you kick him out.

[Anab2010]

@CallmeAngelina

Oh dear Lord!!! You SAW them???
I don't see how you're going to be able to get over that.
for you.

Yes!!! I saw them!! As I was walking down the stairs he run into downstairs wc and she was pulling her pants up. I swear to God- I am not making this up!!!😭

[Ohnoherewego62]

Does she belong to an agency? If so, get that shit reported.

He's a scumbag.

I'm so sorry for your recent loss

[Nymeriastark1]

@Anab2010 does she work for an agency? Can you report her to them? I'd pack up and move with the kids. Tell him he can move if he wants to see them. Is she still in the house with you?

[Alfiemoon1]

So sorry op. I wouldn’t be able to forgive that can you get him to leave so you have to space

[Nymeriastark1]

*he not she

[FizzyPink]

Wow that is truly disgusting, you poor thing.

You have a choice now to either spend weeks, months or years trying to forgive him and regain the trust which absolutely won’t happen or save yourself the extra heartache and kick him out right now. I don’t believe anyone could come back from a betrayal like this and not do some serious damage to their mental state

[lunar1]

God that's revolting.

[Blackcurrant66]

I do not think it is appropriate to report her. She’s an employee. She’s living in her workplace. Whether she’s younger or older isn’t really relevant. She’s in a subservient position and has had sex with a man in a position of power over her. It’s him that has acted badly.

[sangrias]

Good grief. You poor thing.
I'd be naming and shaming her every way I could!! And him... the scumbag... i'd be revealing to his whole family /network what he's done. How disgusting.
They deserve every bit of grief they get. And divorce papers of course.
Hope you have a good solicitor!