If you found a vibrator in your DH’s drawer...

[Applesarenotoranges]

Specifically, if you found 2 new vibrators, an enema and already knew about a butt plug.

None used with you...

What would you think?

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Toys fine but an enema tends to be for preparation for other things. But then if he didn’t hiding it seems odd to be for use with someone else.

@ilovemygirls

I wouldn’t like it & it would be the end of a relationship for me, especially if there had been no discussion or inclusion about it. More importantly... how do YOU feel about it? X

Are men not allowed any private masturbation in a relationship? Are they not allowed to try anything out before including their partner in on it?

For all the people insisting that an enema (or douche) is evidence that someone else must be involved - are any of you speaking from personal experience? Because I get the distinct impression you are guessing and making assumptions.

Yes toys can be cleaned, so can fingers and condoms can be removed. It means nothing. Some people just prefer to clean the way, even for masturbation.

I really wouldn't find it attractive if my DH was into having things shoved up his ass and was tootling off to have some alone time with an enema! Shudder at the thought.

Im sorry but I can't get over the enema, I mean its horrible having an enema!!! Really horrible. Why, just why?

callmeadoctor Wed 24-Jun-20 22:28:50
Im sorry but I can't get over the enema, I mean its horrible having an enema!!! Really horrible. Why, just why?
.......

I've never had one even when in labour and am very glad! However an enema, apart from, ahem, clearing and cleaning, is pleasurable for men because of their prostate. Well for some men anyway, ie those who fancy that sort of thing.

Eeewwww.

That’s interesting you say it’s pleasurable for men because of the prostate, Lynda as he said they were all used for the prostate reason. I didn’t realise the enema would be part of that.

DH likes a vibrating egg up his arse whilst having a BJ. I don’t think it’s that unusual...

The lengths some people will go to quite sad really

Would people please stop grossing out at a bit o' bum bum, one - we all have a bum bum and two - this guy isn't making @Applesarenotoranges do anything or pressuring her. On that note, OP, maybe your user name would be more fitting if it were ApplesarenotPEACHES , oo-er missus

@cheeseontoastwithonions
The lengths some people will go to quite sad really

Could you elaborate on what you mean, please?

Bet you are glad you posted OP? Lots of really helpful comments here.

As people have said OP it's a pleasurable act, probably one he feels he can't talk to you about. My partner definitely does occasionally both alone and together.

Jesus Christ there are some controlling partners on this thread! I can't imagine being with someone who thought they had the power to not allow me to masturbate privately. Imagine wanting to control things like that. You don't have to be included in absolutely everything.

Shudder at the thought. Imagine if he "shuddered at the thought" of putting things in your vagina.

What next? Crossdressing? Is he gay/bi/trans? My mind would be all over the place looking for an answer if that happened to me. How ridiculous! You wouldn't call a lesbian straight for using a dildo. How small minded and stupid.

I'm so glad I'm in an open minded, accepting relationship!

@Voice0fReason why say that? There are a milliom videos on YouTube about using enemas as prep. What is bizarre thing to say.

@WaterOffADucksCrack 👍 exactly.

Dear OP, I think the important question is How do you feel about it? ..... then take it from there. Some couples have in depth conservations about sex toys and go through catalogues together while other couples wouldn't know what their partner has or indeed minds what they have...
Do what works for you.

I'd view the enema/douche as wanting to be clean - men are allowed to want to be clean 'up there' before indulging in solo anal play. They're not all 'whack the sex toy up there & deal with the shit later'.
He obviously enjoys anal play whilst masturbating as it hits the prostate gland. It may be that he's aware you might be disgusted by it so indulges alone.
I've had heterosexual male lovers that have liked having their prostate stimulated with a finger - I would be nervous using anything else as don't want to hurt them.
I've had heterosexual male lovers that have been horrified by the idea.
Your husband just needs to be careful he either doesn't lose a toy or injure himself.

Was it we hidden? If it’s just in his drawer easily found then he isn’t exactly keeping it a huge secret so may just be causal for him without thinking it’s a big deal.

Well hidden*

He clearly likes butt play and this is something you already knew about so I'm not sure why the vibrators bother you?

You could have a casual convo about it and just ask if it's something he wants to do with you or on your own.

There's an assumption that when we're married we must know every tiny thing about our partners and this is untrue, unfair and unrealistic. Our sexual preferences/fantasies are own business and we're not obliged to air them to make someone else comfortable.

Maybe this is something he wants to do on his own and you don't want to embaress him unnecessarily so make it clear you're fine with it, you just need a bit of reassurance that no one else is involved.

@Davincitoad I think you must have misread or misunderstood my post.
I am saying that the assertion that using an enema indicates there must be someone else involved is nonsense.
It is perfectly understandable and reasonable for someone to use an enema (though it's probably a douche) as part of solo play.
I'm sure there are videos or advice recommending that people might want to use them before anal play but they don't say that you should only do this if you are involving another person and not for masturbation.

I would ask is it something he wants to do alone or with you. X

Shudder at the thought. Imagine if he "shuddered at the thought" of putting things in your vagina.

A vagina is an in and out hole. An anus is an out hole.

People can do and enjoy whatever they like, but the facts above remain.

If I was in involved with him, I wouldn't be comfortable with it and that would be my perogative. I'd not continue seeing him.

His right to stick sex toys up his arse and give himself enemas (if it is indeed all find only by himself), my right not to continue seeing him when I know he does, or not to
continue seeing him for any reason at all.

Women are always being pushed to accept and pander to every imaginable aspect of male sexuality .. I don't see the reverse happening as much.

"Get involved, stick your finger up there, blah blah" .. maybe op doesn't want to; I wouldn't.

*all done only by himself

Can't believe all the pearl clutchers on here! It's not my thing but plenty of straight men like bum play and I've been happy to stick a finger up at the time of orgasm to enhance it for them. Never gone further than that, but seriously, some of the narrowminded replies on here!