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Original poster

Random ways we discovered he is a cheating scumbag

193 replies

LifeBeginsWhenYouLetIt · 18/06/2020 08:43

My stbxh sent me a text that was meant for a prostitute!

I was out with friends and he was texting to see if I was having a nice time, then text ‘yes Thursday at 2 for 30 mins’
I’d had a few drinks so didn’t really register it until the next morning. He was so flustered when I asked about it and was coming out with crap so I looked at the phone bill and googled the number.
I’m ashamed to say I wanted to believe his excuse that he had never done it before and had never intended to go. Until I stumbled across his google account which saved his internet searches.
Years of googling her! I could match the dates to when I was away with work.
I kicked myself for being so gullible, then kicked him out.
I was just thinking how he would have got away with it if it wasn’t for that one text, and wondered how other people randomly found out.

OP posts:
krkw · 18/06/2020 08:52

I was on the laptop and he had left himself signed onto fb on it and it was set up for messages to pop up on the bottom right even when you didnt have fb up on the screen. A message from his best mate and the best man at our wedding popped up saying "get in there son. I'm glad you got stuck in there" I clicked on it and got all the gory details

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 18/06/2020 09:35

That's awful! I'm so sorry for both of you 😞

I have three separate stories (apparently used to have awful taste in men!).

My DSis was on a night out when the OM (yes, a man) told her all about his affair with my then partner.

Second time (different partner) he left his FB logged in on my phone and I saw messages between him and his mates girlfriend. Nothing has physically happened but there were enough filthy messages to finish us.

The last time (again different partner, thankfully I've now found a lovely DH) I found emails for a hook up site which led me to lots of messages to older women and one to a man (this made me feel the worst) offering to 'share' me.

yesterdaystotalsteps123 · 18/06/2020 09:44

Mine had stayed signed into Gmail on family computer. Found nude pics of ex wife, adverts to Craigslist, and did some digging and found secret Kik account and more sign ups to hook up sites. I had fallen for him because he barely drank, didn't touch drugs, presented himself as having a healthy lifestyle and most importantly said his children and family were the most important things to him. It wasn't. It was gambling, misogynistic porn, sex websites and who knows what else. It's scary how men can wear a family man mask to hide who they really are.

wishing4sun · 18/06/2020 09:49

Thought I would surprise exDP at his house as we both had the day off, got there to discover his ex wife's car in the driveway, I sat at the front door until she came out, they got the shock Of there Lives to find me sitting there with my coffee.

UnfinishedSymphon · 18/06/2020 09:55

@krkw

I was on the laptop and he had left himself signed onto fb on it and it was set up for messages to pop up on the bottom right even when you didnt have fb up on the screen. A message from his best mate and the best man at our wedding popped up saying "get in there son. I'm glad you got stuck in there" I clicked on it and got all the gory details
These are all awful but this one particular so....his best man? That must've been devastating, I hope you've got rid
TheFaerieQueene · 18/06/2020 09:57

I found a file full of letters and cards from her. This was a fair few years ago before smart phones. The idiot thought that the joint filing cabinet was a good place to stash his hoard. Vile abuser.

rooarsome · 18/06/2020 10:02

He was in the background of a picture uploaded by a nightclub, with some girl wrapped around him.

Notapheasantplucker · 18/06/2020 10:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timeandaplace · 18/06/2020 10:20

Woke up hungover one morning after a party.
Not a big deal.
He rolls over saying that he knows why ‘I’m angry’ at him (news to me) and that he’s sorry I overheard it like that and he should of told me (I’ve got no idea what he’s talking about at this point)
... turns out he was drunkenly telling a friend all about him and OW at this party and thought I’d overheard.
Funny now, not at the time

TirisfalPumpkin · 18/06/2020 10:24

It's weird how it's so often lack of online security.

My 'D'H left his inbox visible onscreen, full of email alerts from numerous dating and hookup sites, for which he stored the logons in his browser so I could view the conversations at my leisure. Pretty lazy for an IT professional. He'd never be this careless with client data for his work.

I wonder if men who do this, on some level, want to be caught. They want to hurt you or put you down to your face, but lack the social skills or courage.

JustJayne69 · 18/06/2020 11:57

Always makes me laugh when I read : I only picked up his mobile to check the weather but accidently went through all his emails and internet traffic at the same time.

iwilltaketwoplease · 18/06/2020 12:20

Received a "congratulations on your wedding" card. Had a child and I was pregnant with our second at the time! Beat that Blush

Cadent · 18/06/2020 12:24

OP, do you mean he was seeing an escort?

Sorry to hear that, glad you kicked him out.

For me, it was him going all out on Christmas (spending £500+ on food, drink etc) just saw he could WhatsApp pictures of the 'perfect Christmas' to an ex he was seeing again and talking about they would be together the next Christmas.

Cadent · 18/06/2020 12:27

@JustJayne69

Always makes me laugh when I read : I only picked up his mobile to check the weather but accidently went through all his emails and internet traffic at the same time.

No one has said this though Confused

Lsquiggles · 18/06/2020 12:30

@iwilltaketwoplease he married someone else whilst with you? Shock

witchofthenorth · 18/06/2020 12:34

I found another woman's knickers in my laundry pile 😬

KitBumbleB · 18/06/2020 12:36

@rooarsome

He was in the background of a picture uploaded by a nightclub, with some girl wrapped around him.
Exactly the same thing happened to me
SnowdropFox · 18/06/2020 12:36

I had a lucky escape with one exbf. He dumped me out of the blue, no signs anything was up as far as I remember. A couple of weeks later a "friend" took great delight telling me she had seen him at the local hospital with another woman. Turns out he had been cheating a while and they were in for her 20 week scan.
Every so often he tries to get in touch, even 15ish years and 3 kids later!

unstableunicorn · 18/06/2020 12:37

Sleeping with my housemate (who was also a close friend), I was meant to be away for a few weeks but came back early to his car in the driveway, flowers in the kitchen for her, and all kinds of noises from her bedroom Confused

unknownn · 18/06/2020 12:43

I were being off with him due to being on my period. But he clearly thought I knew something was up. A few hours later I was suspicious as he were acting funny , logged on to his fb and he had messaged over 20 married women asking if they had messaged me and told me anything. - that were enough for me.

Another one was my partner had tinder downloaded (unknown to me obvs) and acted as if he were single. One girl became curious and searched his name on fb and saw pics with me in it. She messaged me and told me all the vile things that happened. Still thank that woman to this day for saving me, were awesome friends now Grin

Pinkywoo · 18/06/2020 12:45

First time I was waiting up for him to get home from a"lads night out", he said he'd be home by midnight so when it got to 2am I phoned him. The call was answered but all I could hear was him having sex with someone else.

Second time I had given him my old phone not realising it was still logged in to my messenger account, so when he started messaging women he'd met on tinder I could see it all. (That's when I kicked him out).

Flittingabout · 18/06/2020 12:50

I got a letter through the door querying DD payment for a mobile phone we didn't have. He was paying for her phone and had rented her a flat nearby.

These are truly shocking. What a shit club to belong to! Vile people! So glad we are all out of these relationships.

Instamaticgreenery · 18/06/2020 12:57

He was always so secretive with his phone.

One day he did something out of character and waved it towards me as we were walking along and he was texting. A message covered in love hearts. It was his way of telling me I guess.

Mintjulia · 18/06/2020 13:03

His car was blocking mine in one morning when I nipped out early for some milk. His phone, still in its holder bleeped with a text from another woman, dumping him because he was too needy Hmm

I came very close to dumping his car in the village pond.

cleanasawhistle · 18/06/2020 13:05

Sitting in the pub with my then boyfriend.
A friend of mine walked in,she saw me and put her head down.
I looked at him and he was bright red and looking uncomfortable.

Finished with him for that and plenty of other reasons.

Never spoke to the friend again but she was terrified everytime she saw me,I enjoyed making her scared for a long time.

Horrble stories and shocking things people will do to those they are supposed to love.

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