Random ways we discovered he is a cheating scumbag

[LifeBeginsWhenYouLetIt]

My stbxh sent me a text that was meant for a prostitute!

I was out with friends and he was texting to see if I was having a nice time, then text ‘yes Thursday at 2 for 30 mins’
I’d had a few drinks so didn’t really register it until the next morning. He was so flustered when I asked about it and was coming out with crap so I looked at the phone bill and googled the number.
I’m ashamed to say I wanted to believe his excuse that he had never done it before and had never intended to go. Until I stumbled across his google account which saved his internet searches.
Years of googling her! I could match the dates to when I was away with work.
I kicked myself for being so gullible, then kicked him out.
I was just thinking how he would have got away with it if it wasn’t for that one text, and wondered how other people randomly found out.

His Apple Watch kept all the messages he deleted from his phone. The watch hadnt synced, and he left it one day at home.

Oh and the phone bill with the repetitive phone number every time I left for work.

Once I found one thing it was very easy to find so much more.

Are we inadvertently putting together a list of do's and don'ts for cheats?
😂

My poor partner got caught because he was in the shower room talking to the OW best mate. Telling her he wouldn't talk to the OW because he was determined to work on his relationship. Shame he didn't realise the shower running wasn't loud enough to cover his conversation.

I wouldn't t have known but when he dumped her she'd phoned him saying she was drink driving in the car with her young kid so he had felt compelled to phone her best friend to check on her, while refusing to go himself, as he was staying with me.

I also get some satisfaction that it was her own actions that blew it up in her face, as yes, I did tell her husband as well. (Incidentally she wasn't drunk driving either!).

ExH left his phone at home whilst out clubbing with his mates, which was stupid as i was heavily pregnant. Phone rings and I answer, woman(with lots of other noise in the background of chatting women and pub sounds) says to her friends "oh shit, I just called John and Storm answered". I never did find out who it was.

My ex(who was a nightmare all round and most definitely gay) spent our entire 2 Yr relationship messaging exs, arranging meetups, sending them pictures of his arse 👀 He also used to openly admit to being on Grindr. He ended up running off with our friend and it was the best day of my life. I'm eternally grateful that she's stuck being his beard and not me!

I now have the best DH ever.

(and the use of poor in that post was sarcasm, I did blame my partner before I got told how I can't be mean to the OW)

ExDP - thought something was wrong and cracked his password for email and phone (always something simple and men tend to use the same one for most things) went into deleted messages/emails - numerous messages to exes - dumped.

ExDH - found photo of a child on social media that turned out to be his! Stalked the mother (via social media) and found out she had 3 with him! Given birth to the last one 6 weeks before we got married!

He cane home blinding drunk after standing me up on a date, packed a suitcase and left for a hotel. Worried about him, I checked his email on his iPad to see which hotel he was staying at and there was an Uber receipt. Googled the street and it was a residential street and OW’s house

I packed up my dog, enough stuff to survive for a few days and cancelled our entire (small) wedding within an hour. Wanker!

Open DNS. Amazing what you can find going through your home router— all for free too and you don’t need to be a tech to use it . Basically it’s what many use for child blocks, but you just don’t block anything. In my case I got 2 for the price of one- a ton
Of whatsapp use and he rarely used it - happening when I was out and a ton of porn from someone who always said he very very rarely looked at it. Only works though if they are using WiFi rather than data and not ideal if you have teens or young adults as you just see all the connections and app updates etc.

I found out about a year after we had broken up, his friends told me! On a lads holiday... classy.

My 9 year old handed me a necklace she’d found under the sofa cushions - it wasn’t mine . He lied and lied and lied about it - but he’d had her round to our house while me and the kids were away for a few days .
I don’t think HE wanted me to find out about it but I’m convinced SHE did 😬

My ExDH was supposedly away with work accompanied by a male colleague. Then said male colleague called me at home asking to speak to Ex. When I said “he’s not here, he told me he was away with you” then he put the phone down on me. I checked in his desk when he worked at home and there were loads of photos of him with a girl from the office at a Xmas party I wasn’t invited to. He did own a mobile phone and there were loads of calls to a number on the bill I didn’t recognise. This was years ago before phones had cameras.

I called him (I’m sure his colleague had warned him) and said he needed to tell me or I’d call the number. All spilled out as I “wasn’t allowed” to call her as her boyfriend was abusive and she’d be at risk! He’d been seeing her for 6 months.

We’d been together 11 years by then. Who keeps developed photos of themselves snogging the face off a girl in the family home? He must of thought I was an idiot.

In fairness, he did feel guilty enough to walk away with nothing & signed over all the equity in our house to me. The only decent thing he ever did for me.

It’s only as I’ve got much older that I’ve realised what an abusive arse he was. Still I’ve been happily married to my now DH for over 20 years and he’s still single having a series of failed relationships. Revenge is always living your best life.

He came home from an overnight ‘business trip’ several hours away and plonked a receipt for the previous night’s dinner for two down on the sideboard. It was an early dinner in a hotel restaurant close to where we lived, including two beers and two glasses of white wine.

He left his Gmail account open on the pc. At the time she was in another country so I couldn't understand why he was suddenly staying up all night, watching telly

Tried to move on from that one, then a few years later I got a phone call from my dd to come fetch her as she was hysterical. He had taken her to the movies the precious weekend and during the movie he had been messaging ow all the way through. Dd coujd see all the messages as he hadn't dimmed the back light. She kept it in until the Wed when it got too much for her and she told me that dad loves someone else as she saw the messages of him telling her. Bastard actually denied it and basically accused dd of lying. After he left dd sat there sobbing and said mum he's lying I know was I saw. She even explained what she saw with the white and green chats in whatsapp. She was 12 at the time

I cannot ever forgive give that.

I found a receipt from an underwear shop a wk before Xmas, for some reason I knew it wasn’t for me, found the present wrapped under the bed and opened it- not my size, much more the size of his colleague he had been having long evening meetings with and they had had visits to a different branch of work for overnight stays. I phoned him at work and asked about them and he first said they didn’t haven’t size so got something I could exchange later, then he didn’t know my size any more- that was enough BS for me.

A friend came round and during conversation she asked me how I was coping after separating from my husband. I told her that we hadn’t separated, apparently she’d been told this by a friend who worked with him. He’d started seeing someone at work and had been telling his colleagues that we had separated only he forgot to tell me this. I kicked him out but he continued to deny it until he sent a text meant for the OW to our DD!

His mum made him telephone me because his girlfriend had given birth (that morning) to their baby. Sounds very teenage, doesn't it? We were 31 years old at the time, he and I were raising two children (3 and 11 years old), and had been together since 14, pretty much.

Suddenly, my son's repeated comments about "Daddy's friend [X]" made an awful lot of sense...

His colleague rang to congratulate me on my new baby.

Some of these the partners have been very careless

But others are very ‘by chance’ that people found out, like being spotted in the background of a photo.

Really makes you think and wonder how much of it is going on and not getting accidentally found out 🤨

@MissMarianHalcombe I also rumbled my exH due to pictures he took at a works Christmas party. I knew he had bought a new camera for the occasion so asked to see his pictures. He was exceptionally shifty about them and said he had left them in work. Unfortunately for him I also worked for the same company and worked out where he hid his desk key, so one day I was working late I opened his desk and there were two packets of photos, she was in almost every picture. Most were just of her. He never admitted the affair though, and pretended to his family that she was just a friend until they ‘got together’ 6 months after we split. They went on to marry still pretending she had nothing to do with the split, not knowing that I had already told his DM he was having an affair with her.

Reading this thread makes me wonder how stupid some of these people are! I’ve two more prime examples!

My ExDH and I were sort of separated for a couple of months, nothing official, but I called his sister to let him know I wasn’t going to put his name on their Christmas card.

She said oh yes, I know all about him and ‘Jane’ they were at the family wedding in October with their little girl and isn’t it great that they’ll soon have another one! Gobsmacked doesn’t describe how I felt, especially as our two young kids had been spending time with him and his other family and he’d told them not to say anything to me!

A few years ago I was on holiday abroad with my long term DP and whilst there my phone kept pinging, before I looked at it he had to admit that there was a ton of messages from the woman he’d been seeing for the last year. Turns out she knew about me when they first started seeing each other but he told her we’d finished and she only found out we weren’t when she saw a FB post that we were on holiday. She turned psycho bitch on me, hacked my facebook account and went round my house screaming and shouting, even though I didn’t have a clue about anything, total nut job!

Have to admit the rest of our holiday wasn’t the happiest!

Oh, should have added, obviously not with him anymore!!

We were on a family holiday in a hotel. Last day, I went down to the desk to settle our account. There was a huge amount of " extra expenses" so I asked what they were. Phone calls, she said, and showed me our account. ( this was before Smart phones). Dozens and dozens of long distance calls, morning noon and night, all to one number. I rang it - an old friend of mine answered. No wonder he'd opted to stay in our room while I went out with the kids.

The five hour drive home was in strained silence, and I immediately set about divorcing him when we got back. Still makes me angry after 20 years.

I found his tinder account a month after we had bought our house! He claimed it was his friend's account at first but the friend didn't have a clue when I casually brought it up. I chose to ignore it because, you know, the house. Stupid of me, he used it again a month later. Turns out he was using ANOTHER friend's pictures as a catfish and to get more swipes!
I'm with a much nicer guy now and the house is in my name, so it worked out.

Boxing Day exdp received a text from a unsaved number saying ' I'm drunk do you want to make me wet' 🤢 so I replied with ' Hell yes send a pic' so she sent her fanny with a pink butt plug! 🤢 I kicked him out.
Went NC. The worse part was I found I was pregnant with our second dc two days later.

Haven't spoken to him since. Well except a few emails but I won't engage anymore with it.
So he now lives in a bed sit watching porn at night.
And I sleep better every night knowing that I was right and not crazy.

He may move on and have some pretend happy life at some point but I don't cry over it because he had everything with me, our life was actually really great all round he just wanted a little extra and that cost him dearly.

My husband left me and our 2 yo DS saying that he needed to get his life back and "find himself". A few days later he sent me a text by mistake saying "you're my life now". Still tried to deny there was anybody else until OW's best friend looked me up on LinkedIn, not realising her snooping could be seen. Cunts.