Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Random ways we discovered he is a cheating scumbag

193 replies

LifeBeginsWhenYouLetIt · 18/06/2020 08:43

My stbxh sent me a text that was meant for a prostitute!

I was out with friends and he was texting to see if I was having a nice time, then text ‘yes Thursday at 2 for 30 mins’
I’d had a few drinks so didn’t really register it until the next morning. He was so flustered when I asked about it and was coming out with crap so I looked at the phone bill and googled the number.
I’m ashamed to say I wanted to believe his excuse that he had never done it before and had never intended to go. Until I stumbled across his google account which saved his internet searches.
Years of googling her! I could match the dates to when I was away with work.
I kicked myself for being so gullible, then kicked him out.
I was just thinking how he would have got away with it if it wasn’t for that one text, and wondered how other people randomly found out.

OP posts:
Claricethecat45 · 20/06/2020 18:06

My joyous discovery experience was several years ago and it is still in my mind like yesterday

XH was on a business trip abroad with an 8 hr time difference.
I had just picked DS's aged 7/9 from school and also had my bestie staying with us (whilst XH was away) It was 4pm as i was drawing upto the house - with Boys and friend in car, and Boys said 'lets call Daddy'! it would be midnight where he was and I knew already he was taking clients out so figured it would be a good time to catch him and the Boys to speak. Still sitting in the car outside the house I put phone on speaker and dialled......well.....it rang and was 'answered' but he had done so without realising (pocket type call) and I/we all... heard this

'Baby, you go to the bathroom and make yourself even more gorgeous, while I call my Wife, I won't be long - give me 5 minutes'...and then what sounded like a slap and a giggle...and he sounded well oiled

Silence. In the car. I slammed the phone off. Silence rained and my phone rang...I answered Im afraid, and yes, it was him....he sounded hurried but said ' Hi Darling, I can't chat for long, I'm just in the Gents and the clients want to go on for a bit longer - so - how are you - how are the boys?.....Boys were silent. Bestie was Silent.

I said, 'DARLING....I think you have someone waiting for you in the bathroom making herself even more gorgeous, so, best not keep her waiting, and you and I can makes some arrangements tomorrow - Bye'

And that...was how it came to pass......every. single. word. is still in my head .....

SnowdropFox · 20/06/2020 18:39

Well done for keeping it together with the excellent reply. I hope life is better now Clarice!

emmetgirl · 20/06/2020 18:49

@tarasmalatarocks can I have this info too please? Thanks 😊

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 20/06/2020 20:13

He has started acting strongly taking more care of his appearance wanting sex a lot and passionate sex but he wasn’t so loving and would pick arguments. He also kept mentioning someone at work (can’t remember her name but she was apparently so annoying he couldn’t stop talking about her)

Came home on evening after his martial arts class nothing out of the ordinary but I just knew to look in his bag when he was having a shower. He hadn’t worn his kit. I asked him casually how did the class go and he went it to way too much detail so I told him I knew he was lying and asked him why he got flustered and told me it was non of my business I asked him if he was seeing someone and again it was none of my business Hmm

That was it I just knew I left him the next day and he cried for months begging for another chance I filed for divorce

We didn’t have children so much easier to move on and neither of us had been happy for a while

Borgonzola · 20/06/2020 20:54

fake tan all over the sheets, someone else's tampons in the bathroom bin.

he still denied it, even though I knew her name (I'd seen texts from her come up on his phone before, but he always said she was just a work colleague. she was, but...)

I threw the bin + tampons at him Grin

Mikethenight2good · 20/06/2020 21:05

tarasmalatarocks pls may I have the link.
X

Dontsayyouloveme · 20/06/2020 21:15

JustJayne69 really??? 😣

Happynow001 · 21/06/2020 04:26

Very classy response Clarice.

I Hope life is treating you better now. 🌹

LifeBeginsWhenYouLetIt · 21/06/2020 07:19

Tarasmalataricks kindly sent me a pm to say it won’t show anything historical, just stuff going forward. As my ex has gone and I don’t care what he’s up to now that’s fine, it just would have been nice to get a bigger picture of what he got up to.
If anyone is trying to find out what they have previously searched for I would recommend giving google account a go. My ex had his own email (not gmail) but I suspected he had a fake email account, so started looking for it. While using his phone number to search gmail I stumbled across his legit google account which saved what he had searched for and then the pages visited - for years!
It may be worth searching google account and seeing if his email or phone no is registered. If you can get in (and the settings are on) it may have saved all searches, and even places he’s gone.
If not and you are feeling particularly devious you could make your own google account and log into his phone with it. I never did this but imagine it will start saving stuff from his phone to your google account. I think if you log in on another device to check what he’s been looking at then you would need to log back in from his phone again afterwards so it saves again
Not condoning this sneakiness one bit but just an idea! (Totally would have done it if I’d thought of it at the time)

OP posts:
Apple1971 · 21/06/2020 07:34

My ex had an app on his phone that looked like a calculator and worked like a calculator... except when you put a password in it unlocks to reveal files underneath. In his case pictures of the ow in her underwear.

My ex was stupid enough to have his pin set as his password and yes I was looking for evidence as this was the second affair he had as I was suspicious about his behaviour.

Knob

ATurnipOfMyOwn · 21/06/2020 12:01

Mine bought a new phone and left the old one at home. I can't remember exactly how it happened from a technical point of view, but he texted OW to say "Hi it's me, I've got a new number", and these appeared on the old phone. I saw a whole conversation "Hey beautiful, can't wait to see you today", then her saying "meet me at lunchtime", and him saying "I'm just parking up now - so excited to see your beautiful face", all that bollocks.

I was floored. I kept quiet for a while, trying to figure out who she was, and then I put her number into FB and discovered it was a friend of ours! We'd been on holiday with them the year before.

I eventually confronted him one night with the texts on the phone, and his face was a picture. First he flat out denied it, despite the fact I was standing there with the evidence. Then he said it wasn't him, but it was his phone texting her phone. Then he said it must have been a text exchange between him and his brother! It was actually comical.

When I said I knew who she was, he turned it round on me saying he'd seen texts on my phone between me and an ex-colleague and I was having an affair. Said ex-colleague had moved to somewhere in the Middle East 3 years previously, and had texted our whole team (which was clear from the text) saying he was back for a couple of weeks and did we all want to meet up for drinks. I'd declined the invitation. Oh and ex-colleague is gay.

He never admitted to doing anything - claimed he'd had second thoughts the minute he parked up to meet her and never went through with it. Seriously? As if I'm that stupid.

Alfiemoon1 · 21/06/2020 23:42

@tarasmalatarocks could I have the link please

Lightofthephoenix · 21/06/2020 23:50

ATurnipOfMyOwn

Did you leave him?

NaePies · 22/06/2020 00:26

@peonyfairy03

My EXH has the pof app on his phone me being gullible believed him when he said it was a work app. It wasn’t until I was helping a friend go through profiles his profile came up. But it was still my fault I made him do it!!
Yeah Mine only had it because he was checking to make sure I did not have it Confused

Pictures, inane banter, the lot

Just to ensure I was not using these sites to cheat on him

Could not make it up

Startoftheyear2020 · 22/06/2020 00:26

They're such idiots. Why not be honest? Ugh. I found photos and emails, so lovely dovey. Just wish he'd ended the marriage and started afresh but of course he was too much of a shitbag to do the decent thing.
So sorry for all the painful stories on here.

bubbleup · 22/06/2020 01:01

A colleague of mine got caught when he was photographed in the background of one of those companies that go around taking photos in clubs.

He was a serial cheat and used to get through as many women as possible twice a year in Benidorm. And at work. I think she finally left him.

freedom22222 · 22/06/2020 02:06

A package arrived at the door, accidentally opened (christmas time, multiple packages daily) inside were worn knickers in a zip bag with a card saying "Hello Big boy, enjoy the pants, Love Mary" I was sooo appalled but also couldn't stop laughing. I chucked them in the bin, and replaced them with a pair of mine (at the time I thought I'd give me the power back) and replaced the package at the door. ExP collected his package and later admitted he'd wanked into them....... Men are so weird

Flittingabout · 22/06/2020 10:08

Oh bless you @Claricethecat45 I can imagine how fresh that is in your mind.

The moment of discovery can be so brutal I will never forget how it went down either!

CecilyBlue · 22/06/2020 18:18

@tarasmalatarocks please may I have the info too, thank you!

drcb83 · 22/06/2020 22:44

@tarasmalatarocks pls can I have the link too! Ta :) xx

NoGravyForYou · 22/06/2020 23:13

Why are they all so fucking stupid!

I also found out via messages on an iPad and then even more info from where he left himself signed in on the shared laptop. He works in Tech ffs.

MrFaceyRomford · 23/06/2020 00:01

DW has a friend who found out when the OW's husband came around to beat the crap out of her cheating partner.

SlightyJaded · 23/06/2020 00:12

All my spidey senses were telling me that DP was cheating but he denied and denied and I was young and naive. One day we were doing some supermarket shopping and a girl I vaguely recognised walked up to us and they way they exchanged 'hellos' was like a fireworks display going off inside me - I just knew it was her. I asked who she was (mate's sister), and how long he'd known her (years) and asked how come I'd never heard of her as we'd been together about four years at this point, but he dismissed her as a nobody. In the end, with no evidence and wanting to believe him, I ignored my gut and let him talk me into a holiday we couldn't really afford on a Greek Island.

Arrive on Greek Island and from the first night, he kept disappearing to 'call his mum' and then 'check on his brother' etc etc. It was before mobile phones so he was going to a payphone just outside the hotel with a pre-paid card. On about the fourth night, he bought us both a drink then 'nipped off to call his sister as she wasn't feeling well according to his mum' and left me sat at the bar like an idiot for ninety minutes.

I went to look for him in the room, by the pool, outside the hotel and the phone box - nothing. I was so fucked off I decided to go for a walk and as I turned a corner, he was sat on a bar stool, holding hands and drinking a cocktail with supermarket girl. He tried the 'Oh my god, look who I bumped into!' for about thirty seconds, but even he knew it was ridiculous. They had basically arranged that she would fly out and stay in a smaller hotel in the same resort but with her mate, as they couldn't bare to be apart for even a week.

I was going to fly straight home but was so humiliated that I told him to move in to her hotel, and I spent the last three days crying and walking/swimming, so that by the time I flew home, I had done most of my snotty nosed howling.

Looking back, I wonder why on earth he didn't just finish with me and get together with her properly? We weren't married, no kids, it would have been easy....

KitNCaboodle · 23/06/2020 00:16

Oh my gosh @slightyjaded, what happened when you got home?
Crafty buggers the pair of them.

Jojobar · 23/06/2020 00:26

We split up, instigated by him. We then got back in contact a few months later, and he told me he'd been seeing someone but she was a bit of a clingy nutjob, and he was going to bin her off and hoped we could try again.

He binned her off. She then contacted me and, revealing herself to be a nutjob, contacted me telling me in highly graphic and totally unnecessary detail about how they'd been seeing each other for ,6 months. How she used to mock me to him behind my back...that kind of thing.

It wasn't the last I heard of her. She kept contacting me for weeks by various means until I told her exactly what I thought of her and that if she didn't fuck off I'd report her to the police. She is absolutely vile and although I'm not a violent person if I ever saw her again I'd punch her in her stupid fat face.