Dating Thread 190 - Living La Vida Lockdown but not out...

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks @jesuisprest great title!

dancemom 🥳 that’s sounds good.
banghead you could say you want to chat a bit longer first?

So I’ve accidentally matched with a guy I recognise from the last time I did OLD (very briefly last year) and can’t quite remember why I unmatched him... he doesn’t remember me (all my pics are new but his main pic is the same).

I’d been swiping then had a peek at his profile and meant to swipe left but somehow didn’t. Think I’m going to see how it goes.

@dancemom I'm glad it turned out OK. It's an awful feeling when your gut tells you something is wrong.

I don't get why I'm get no interest. Is it that I have a kid? I am barely having any conversations and today I've been swiping and 2 matches!

Thank you @Ihavenicelegs and @CheesecakeAddict and thanks for the new thread!

Yes feeling relieved, he's already sent a few messages since leaving and I'm going to work on my anxiety too.

He was talking about the future, about a holiday, our kids meeting (not now don't worry!) just nice things you want to hear

Thanks guys, it's so good to have you to sound off to and have some thoughts back.

Happy weekend everyone!

I first joined the OLD thread on number 140, in October 2018. Nearly 50,000 messages later (on the threads - not my Tinder, POF and WhatsApp accounts, but I must be close...😳) and I still don't feel any closer to finding a decent man who doesn't have more issues than Vogue.

jeSuis it’s weird. I remember when I first ventured into OLD and (still now) guys would ask my why I was there... I’m beginning to wonder 😭

I think I’ve learned a lot about myself this past year or so though. I think I’m in a better place.

Thank you for the new thread @JeSuisPrest. Let's see what twists and turns this one brings !

@JeSuisPrest I was on these threads previously too but I left when the thread started dating itself 😳

I'm loving the camaraderie of these recent ones though ... and totally ignoring the fact I'm still dating several years on 🙄

I wonder if any men on the thread would give me profile feedback? 🤗

😳 did people meet on the thread dancemom ?

I’ve been OLD about the same time as JeSuis and had a relationship in that time too, which didn’t work out (obviously), so here I am...

I'm still here too. I started OLD in Jan 2018. I had a ball til I didn't. It was a great ego boost initially. Then I met someone and had a 9 month relationship. I joined the thread just as it started. Now I'm not sure I can face another stint on the apps. But what else is there? I may set up a tinder profile later. I'll see.

Cant remember when I joined but probably a similar time as Jesuis, I joined even though I was only after casual sex after an emotionally abusive marriage of 17 years.

I have this thread to thank for introducing me to Fab, I've been hanging out with Mr Builder since September and we've gone from FWB to something more and today I instigated the exclusivity chat

I had vowed to be single forever due to trust issues and I'm averse to commitment given issues in my marriage which have left me with trust issues, he had also vowed to be single for at least 5 years but somehow we've clicked.

So we are officially exclusive (we were unofficially exclusive because we both hadnt slept with anyone else since last year ) and we've had a chat about boundaries and what we consider cheating baring in mind where we met and my crap marriage which was peppered by emotional affairs.

We're actually on the same wavelength which I'm pleased about.

To other people they assume we're boyfriend/girlfriend and I guess we are but for now there are no labels (this is by my instigation)

Thank you dating thread for being so helpful and supportive

Please can I tag along? I need somewhere to talk about the horror of dating. I hate it! But today I feel great as I kicked 1 to the curb, boom! He was from Hinge. Been speaking since Feb. Met a few times before lockdown, loads of video chats during lockdown, things felt good, then once lockdown started easing he started to fade away. The old me would have clung on to anything but this me told him he was wasn’t good enough for what I wanted, then I deleted 😊

The second one is quite complicated and I need to tread carefully (30 year friendship) always been something there but never both been in the same situation at the same time. He’s going through a divorce so although he’s over her (she had an affair) he’s not ready for anything serious yet, and neither am I but he says that’s what he wants in future. He’s given me a lot of honestly about how he feels after he ghosted me last week but Today we were supposed to meet with our kids and he cancelled on me, then never replied to my text. I just hate that. I know he’s having an emotional wobble again but I just can’t tolerate anything anymore. I guess I’m destined to be single forever! 🤣

@Ihavenicelegs yes, that's where rule 10 came from 😆
TBH I have no issues if people on here meet and date but that particular situation made the chat on the thread awkward ... although I can't seem to remember many details ....
I started online dating almost 3 years ago. I dated a guy for a year in that time and another for six months (although he turned out to be married) so I've been on and off the apps and the threads in that time.

Can I get other people's experiences on something? I've been chatting to, let's call him Mr Biology, since last weekend. He wasn't someone I immediately thought phwoar about, but his profile looked interesting and ticked a lot of my boxes. The chat is brilliant, we have absolutely tons in common, we had a phone conversation for a few hours the other night - and he has a lovely voice - and there is definitely flirting going on too. Nothing overtly sexual, for a refreshing change. But we haven't met. We're planning to do so tomorrow if it stops raining long enough... So, my question: have people felt such a connection and got on brilliantly, only to not fancy each other in the flesh?? For me, and many others I'm sure, attraction isn't only about looks. So I'm really hoping the spark is there...

Yes @shitwithsugaron it was definitely smug! If you remember anymore details pm me, I'm wracking my brains but can't place the details ...

Checking in

I have a face full of zits and I believe MrMilitary is back in town. I suggested a contact break for my exam and now the possibility of a meet straight after is there I look like I’ve got plague 🙈

Of course, I shall be blooming and beautiful when I have no Male company but the creepy old neighbor guy who stares at me whilst sitting in the garden with his top off ....

@Misty I hope the meet goes well! Unfortunately I do think it’s hard to guarantee attraction/spark so it’s just a case of turn up and see. Sorry that’s not very helpful. I hope he’s fit

Does anyone else find the messages are super annoying on POF? I hate having to refresh it constantly

@Misty9

Incidentally, I think I’m as or more attractive than my photos so I normally get a good reaction in person.

But I’ve actually met some guys who “hide behind something” and spy on the meeting spot to check what you look like in person, so they can leave if they don’t like the look of the person arriving how rude is that?

@Bunkbedpeople oh I'm pretty sure some women have done that too
I hope I'm more attractive than my photos! 😂

@CheesecakeAddict I hate the message facility on pof. It's why I move to WhatsApp as soon as I think they're sticking around...

Hi all, Checking in

@Misty9

well actually with my face full of insect bites and random pimples I'd turn and run if I saw myself now

Hi all
He’s messaged me to say about the social distancing - I said I was ok with not social distancing but respects if he has concerns about it. He seems to be more on the side of throwing it out of the window than sticking to it but I don’t know if he has the bravery to go for it. Also as we aren’t like all relaxed like on a night out or something it never seems to be ‘the moment’ 😂

There isn’t a high level of sexual chemistry yet but we can lose 4 hours of time having a great time and I do find him attractive. I would want to kiss him

Dating in lockdown sucks. That is all.
I've got one iron in the US who I would love to meet but god knows when that will ever be possible, one old iron who has re-emerged during lockdown but lives an hour or so away and had one down the road but we've just agreed to call it quits during lockdown as it's too frustrating/complicated.

Honestly if this goes on until 2021 I think I might need some kind of a chemical libido suppressant!