Dating Thread 190 - Living La Vida Lockdown but not out...

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

Thanks for the new thread, great title!

Lockdown has been well and truly broken chez Tiger. Neither my household nor Mr GN’s are vulnerable and both have been isolating, so I am satisfied we are doing the right thing. There don’t seem to be any rules any more post Cummings etc, I’m just applying common sense. And apparently new infections outside of hospital and care home settings are negligible currently?

@Bunkbedpeople
Yeah I don’t think I felt cheap or easy but just that I had rushed in then it was hard to back out or I was over invested and perhaps they didn’t know me that well or I know them and then I felt uncomfortable when it all went wrong later down the line

Thanks for the new thread 😊. I’m still chatting to all my penpals/irons I don’t live near enough to any of them to meet and while that was fine at the start I want to move off WhatsApp and see if there is anything there. By the end of this month lockdown rules will be relaxed enough so there is light at the end of the tunnel
In other news I got my first ever unsolicited dick pic tonight! I feel line I’m properly online dating now What do you do in those situations? Pretend it didn’t happen and continue the chat?? Immediate block?? I was enjoying a mildly flirty funny chat until then!

@JeSuisPrest 😂😂😂 to this You couldn't have got a fag paper between us 😳

Yes that was Mr Music and I too,

I might get to see him late tomorrow night if he can sort something out (work and childcare related) - otherwise Wednesday should be ok. I felt a bit giddy again this evening.

I was going to ask @Ant330 or @HairyArsedMan to look at my profile but I think I'm going to concentrate on Mr Music for awhile but if I need to focus more on the apps that would help.

Placemarking! @JeSuisPrest, thank you for the new thread!

@ZoZoBo depends on your personal boundaries but for me that would be a straight block and delete if it was totally unexpected and not asked for.
Disrespectful and presumptuous.

Popping into the thread to say I'm happily still with Mr BC - 14 and a half months now. For newbies to the thread, I met him on Fab ...

I first began OLD in February 2016 and was on the threads back then. Did it for a few months then had a relationship with someone I'd first dated when I was at school! That ended in 2017 so I was back OLD and on the dating threads then. Met someone who I was with for 18 months then back yet again to OLD in February 2019. Met Mr BC

We are both WFH and living alone (his step kids moved in with their partners for lockdown) and have assessed our risk and are seeing each other.

I have my date with Mr Mountain Biker today - a quick walk after work one evening has turned into a three-hour hike with a bring-your-own picnic. He rang last night to confirm as we were keeping an eye on the weather so we chatted for about an hour and he admitted that he was really nervous. I am too but looking forward to it.

It’s really weird - his photos weren’t great on his profile (it was the text that got me interested) but he looked so different on the video chats and I quite fancied him on those - will be interesting to see if that carries over into real life.

My story is I separated from an abusive partner in Dec 2017, only started online dating in Sep 2018. 7 dates. Saw someone casually for a year but this ended pre lockdown. Ive been ghosted several times over lock down which was very disheartening but I have one iron who I really quite like, the most I've ever really liked actually since starting dating or even before. Due to meet next weekend which will be 3 weeks since starting to message.
I'm seeing him as a way of opening myself up a bit more to relationships rather than being scared all the time of what may happen. So if it works, then great, if not, then I feel I've learnt what I like in a partner as well as how to be open to things more.

@ZoZoBo on the topic of the pics.

I've immediately blocked before.

I've actually said 'WTF do you think women like getting those?'

I've said, 'I think you've misread things'

All depends on the circumstances, the stage of chatting as to my response.

But note - everyone who's given me an unsolicited pic has ended up a no somehow, it's like a forewarning of disrespect and him feeling his needs are most important.

What the fuck?

Oh @CheesecakeAddict you must be so flattered
Thanks for the response to the photos - my nature is to be polite and no conflict but Jesus that’s pushing it for me- am going to say it’s not for me and block
@chockaholic72 can’t wait to hear about the date today

@zozobo I would personally save the photo, draw a face and a moustache on it and send it back to them. Then block them after they had seen it

@Zozobo Find a photo of a massive penis and send him it, telling him that he's come up short and you are looking for someone better endowed than him........then BLOCK

@ZoZoBo “Is that your thumb?”

@chockaholic72 - I hope the date goes well. What’s the equivalent of loo break updates on lockdown walks, or do we just have to wait until afterwards for an update?

I laughed a lot at the dick pic responses but @CheesecakeAddict, wow! Um, that’s both flattering and appalling. I kind of want to give him advice, “look mate, compliments are good, but...”

I think I've been doing OLD the longest. Started on New Years Day 2015 after a 20yr marriage. I finally found someone about a year later but that fizzled out after 9 months, although we are still friends.

I've been on and off the apps ever since. Lost count how many first dates I've had. But just can't seem to find the right person. The ones I like, don't like me and vice versa.

I'm finding the apps really quiet at the moment. A couple of chats started but disappeared after a couple of days.

So far I think I’ve heard Fab, Match, OKCupid, POF and Bumble mentioned here. Is there much of a difference between them? I know POF had a reputation as a hook up sit, is that still the case? (I can google this if you’re bored of explaining to newbies)

[quote SimonJT]@ZoZoBo “Is that your thumb?”[/quote]
Love it

I started OLD in October 2017, after ending a 30 year marriage in 2015. I had an utter disaster on GSM then signed up for Tinder at Christmas 2017. I had a disgraceful blast in 2018, and joined this thread first in the summer 2018 when it was mid-schism re people on the thread dating each other. I remember the names of the posters involved but I didn’t stick around for the final showdown, it was all utterly weird. Rejoined in October 2018 and have been dating it ever since . I credit the thread with my decision to end things with Mr Cat in January 2019, who had been messing with my head for 8 months at that point, and for joining Fab where I met Mr GN in February 2019. This was a non-exclusive FWB situation for nearly a year but now it’s...a lot more 😍

Wave to @BatshitCrazyWoman and @unambiguousbeard

@MsJaneAusten Pof is not for hook ups but there are some interesting characters on there. I've had more luck with tinder personally and I find the preface much easier to use. Bumble is basically the same as tinder except women message first (so no unsolicited messages). Not tried the others. I think you just need to sign up to a couple and find one that works for you.

So I'm intrigued by fab, is it not just a swingers site then? 😳

Fab swingers is indeed a swinging site, the advantage of which seems to be that people are honest about what they want/like from the start so you have sexual compatibility. If feelings grow from that starting point then you have quite a strong foundation. 🤷‍♀️ It all comes down to dumb luck and playing the numbers game in the end.

Fab is a swingers site but not everyone wants to swing, some just want casual sex, there are of course loads of couples on there but equally lots of single men and women.

I have only seen 2 profiles where people said they wanted a relationship, all the rest are looking for one night stands or FWBs.

I think sexual compatibility is really important so Fab suited me and I really only wanted an FB or even a FWB but somehow I've got more.

I also wanted to go to a swingers club before the end of the year and thought I should join to see what it was all about.
I met quite a few people and went to a swingers club and have somehow collected a 'boyfriend' along the way.