Dating Thread 190 - Living La Vida Lockdown but not out...

[JeSuisPrest]

The Rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. Know your worth.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with 13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future 14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item.

@ihavenicelegs yes, it was the rapport that did it. First time. Still I suppose it would have been worse if he'd done it on our first meeting! So many sleazes. I suppose it's time for big girl pants on, and try again.

I blocked him straight away.

@Oopsiedaisyy I've done it twice. I had a very different feeling with the those 2 men I met at their homes than anyone else I'd chatted with - the ones I wasn't 100% sure about I always met for a coffee/drink on neutral territory (and there's been loads of those!)

The 2 I met at theirs:
MrA - went out with him for 4 months
MrC- went out with him for a year

(Also one during lockdown, but nothing worth going in to...)

And they were excellent cooks - both did a roast chicken dinner if I remember correctly, obviously the way to my heart is through my stomach...

@JoyofBex Don't feel you need to be polite and give him a "this isn't really for me" text. Literally just block him. I can promise you won't be the first to have done so.

@Ant330 I get you 100% about having barriers up, it's all we have to protect ourselves. I think it's really honest of you to say that there's qualities you don't like about her. I've never met a perfect person yet. I don't believe they exist. You just have to decide whether the imperfections are outweighed by the good stuff. Hopefully they are, you two certainly have a connection.

So I'm quite sexual, and sexual chemistry is very important to me. But it's a struggle to find someone who isn't vanilla and also wants a proper relationship and not just a hook up.

So a dick pic sent as part of a conversation and on request can be hot. But arriving in your inbox with no prior warning, no thanks

@Oopsiedaisyy i know my iron offered his previous date a cup of tea after they went for a walk and she went into his home. It's not quite dinner but I think if you feel ok, do it then. I would also see about the dynamic first as it's a strange time at the moment.

@oopsiedaisyy yes, I get that. In a consensual context it would be good (especially in lockdown!).

It's just the assumption, and the assertion. Major red flags. It wasn't even a very good dick...

Well least you know not to bother then LOL

Really bizarre conversation. I have been talking to someone for 2 days, he asked for my Skype details, I passed them on and the he said something has come up at work but best of luck finding someone 🤔🤨. Just so bizarre. Oh well. I'm trying out hinge at the moment, let's see how that goes.

Hello all.
I haven't posted since probably February. I'm still seeing Mr P. Its been nearly 6months now.
We've seen each other all through lockdown I'll admit.
We are now working from home so we have been able to see each other such a lot. He has his kids 50 percent of the time and I'm there the other 50 percent with my laptop working.
I like him a lot . Hes incredible and I'm dreading lockdown ending because we wont see each other as much due to work and kids.
He was the first guy I ever dated on OLD so I really hope this goes somewhere . I feel TOO lucky !!

I’m just back from my walk picnic date - 6 hours later! He was lovely, I had a lovely time, and we’ve said we’d like to do it again. I’m still very cautious but I’ve smiled all the way home. Now I need to give myself a leg massage.

clover and choc lovely updates. Gives me a bit of hope.
ant I’m not sure of the back story with your MissB. If you’ve been to-ing and fro-ing for a while is it about big things? What are your thought on long term compatibility?

Talking to ex about how we are struggling go get over each other, but his situation means we didn't have a choice really.

So dating to distract myself.

So had a date last week, had a message to say he looked forward to a second, but I’ve not heard anything since - he is working, but I thought I’d have had something- is this usual??

Thanks for the new thread... there just seems to be a complete dearth or decent guys out there at the moment and I am losing the will... I'm occasionally chatting with Mr Nice but there's just no spark. Can you tell that when you're messaging? I really think you can. I just keep comparing him to Mr Irish who I never even got to meet but we had such brilliant banter. Starting to think I'm never going to find anyone :(

@chockaholic72 lovely Update!

@Priddypuddycat maybe he's thinking the same? Why don't you make the first move and see what he says?

@Mumtolittleorange yup, I feel the same. So little out there at the moment. I've come off POF because I just couldn't deal with the 50 messages a day from people way way older. I downloaded all the big apps and going back to square 1 of finding one I like (already deleted happn).

@CheesecakeAddict yep... I'm on Match and GSM. I've hidden my profile on POF as it's all too overwhelming. I'm so time poor as I work pretty much full time and have sole care of my children who are still quite young. I've been on my own for years and I enjoyed it for the most part but now I really would like to meet someone and I don't seem to be getting anywhere. Even post lockdown it's going to be so hard to date someone due to my circumstances... I suppose though if it's the right person you find ways and means. As it stands at the moment I can't see how I'm ever going to find someone and it's starting to get me down.

Just place marking the new thread thanks @JeSuisPrest 😊

@CheesecakeAddict I’ve howled laughing at the fart sucker. That is both hilarious and completely disgusting at the same time. Sounds like a keeper 🤣🤣

Also I’ve met mr electric every night this week and social distancing has gone completely out of the window 🙈. We had a steamy windows incident in my car tonight but my god it was good

@Ihavenicelegs I’ve been on and off OLD for ten years and had absolutely no luck - maybe two sparks and nothing long term. This is the first time I’ve thought “maybe this one could go somewhere” but I’m being very cautious as I keep thinking he’s too good to be true. He’s just so normal and nice. (And fit)! So, one step at a time for me. We are walking next Sunday so something to look forward to.

Haven't posted in a while.

Still chatting to Mr Eyes, but the more I get to know him the more I dislike, he's very opinionated with opposite views to me and I also think he is out of work and using Covid as a good cover... I'm trying not to jump to conclusions but have distanced myself a little bit.

I also have a new Iron, I'll call him Mr Weeble.
We have chatted quite a bit, lots and lots of flirting, he seems very normal. I suggested a socially distanced walk and he was up for that, but hasn't mentioned it since. I'm not going to ask again, I will leave the ball in his court.

Is anyone else finding it hard to keep going with a bf because of lockdown? I'm struggling this last week...

We have been video calling, watching movies at the same time but from our own places, socially distanced walks, some lapses on social distancing for hugs... But I really miss staying over with each other. Not just the intemacy and sex, but the hours of being together even if it's just reading or pottering around.

He can't move in (it's not that kind of relationship, I have DC that don't know he exists, I'm in the middle of a messy divorce and exH would really take it out on me and the kids if he knew I was dating).

I'm feeling like things are going to slowly fade when we can't properly see each other and it's a fairly superficial and casual relationship, with a lot of emphasis on dating, fun and sex. But I don't want to lose what we have together even if it's not a "proper" relationship...

Ahgg. I think I'm just feeling down.

I don't know how any of you are managing with new irons... I couldn't find the time or energy to manage that right now.

@30somethingandstillsingle I think it's really good that you are recognising when you are not happy and keeping your options open! How long have you been chatting to Mr Eyes for and have you met face-to-face yet?

So Hinge seems to be working for me, I have woken up to quite a few messages so I'm going to keep going on that for now. I'm also getting quite fat as I have a tendency to replace sex with carbs and chocolate, so something needs to come up soon

Hi All - just really checking in to new thread. i have laughed at the responses to dick-pics and as for the message about Farts that was just too funny to miss .
I think men either look for profiles that say "new to this" or somehow sense that you're new. I had a few of those pics sent to me when I first started on-line (last summer) but have not had any sent to me since.
I've been dating Mr Mobile since a few days before lock-down - actually our first date was a take-away at my house (and yes before you all jump on me I know this was not sensible but I went with my gut and it turned out fine). I had matched with him on a few occasions over the last year but finally started speaking around February. We talked on video chat everyday during first part of lock-down but since you've been allowed to meet 1 person at a social distance we have been meeting up - and now we are not being distant at-all (like the fag paper comment!)
So it's now been 4 months - so that makes him my longest relationship ever except for my ex husband . We have mentioned meeting friends and family in person and I even said to my daughter last night how would she feel about meeting him and she said that'd be ok (once lock-down is completely over of course and only talking theoretically at this stage) It sounds like some pubs may be open in time for my birthday so I'm beginning to wonder if I could introduce him to some friends in a pub around that time..... i'm super excited ..but also there's a little voice in my head telling me not to get carried away......

@CheesecakeAddict I've been chatting to him for nearly 3 months now I think, we haven't met up in person. I think I started to back off a bit before socially distanced meets were allowed, so I haven't suggested it with him.
He is showing a few red flags with his opinions and also, he won't talk on the phone, I've suggested it a few times but he always made an excuse so stopped. Although we have done various voice messages it's not quite the same.
Something is just not sitting right with me.

Mr Weeble is quite the opposite and we have similar views on things, we've chatted on the phone quite a bit too.
However, I'm a bit gutted he hasn't brought up meeting..he did say initially it would be hard to stick to the rules.
Are men generally reluctant to do socially distant meets? Or is it just me?

I have to congratulate those of you that persevere with PoF. RandyMandy from halfway across the country says ‘hi how r u gorgeous what’s your name’. My profile name is my name !? My profile has been viewed 3 times over a whole weekend (but not by Mandy).

To distract from that I had a go at CoffeeMeetsBagel. I think you need some serious IQ to understand it, or the free version is utterly limited. Do you really get to see only one profile you can interact with a day ? I can search and find a handful of profiles but cannot interact with them in any way. I don’t get the terminology. I need coffee beans apparently to make 8 bagel discovery likes a day. What the heck is going on ? Am I a bagel ? Where do beans come from ?