Anyone want to start a self-care / self-love / personal development thread?

[Blurpblorp]

I'm not 100% sure how to describe what I mean. I'm a proud mum, divorced, and newly-single and keen to stay that way and figure out who am I after my heart's taken a good bruising these last few years.

Is anyone interested in a thread concerned with self-care / personal development? The things I'm thinking are:

learning to value myself
accept my body for how it is
eat food for nourishment and pleassure, not mindless chomping
commit to moving my body for fun, not brainless calorie burning
work out what I really want out of life
challenge my white privilege
activism for causes that matter to me like climate change and racism
try and understand why I place such emphasis on validation from men
learn how to set and maintain barriers
understand where my 'imposter syndrome' comes from
change things I don't like about my personality and if I can't change them, accept them.
get a proper skincare regime
consider my spirituality
save money
finish up the DIY projects at home and get my house as I want it

So many things. Would anyone like to join? If so, what are your circumstances and what's on your list?

I’m in. Booking my spot and will be back later with my list. Am on a new mission of self care so this is good timing for me. Thanks for starting.

Excellent. The first spot is yours OceanDweller!

Yes I will. Your situation and list is very similar to mine

Yes totally would be up for this. Started my own little self love journey already after loosing 3 stone and feeling like I'll never be happy with how I look, I know it needs to come from the inside, it's just getting to that point! X

Nelly57, helpamummaout you're IN! And high fives for losing 3 stone. But alas yes, it all comes from within. That very thought is what made me start this.

Ahh lovely... I hope this is the start of something good for all of us

I'll add.
I've done so much more as a single parent.
It's bloody scary at times and I do have moments when I think it's too much on my own but realise i didn't choose single parenthood so I have to adapt.

I'm learning self care
To be a better parent, to work on myself. I have no choice so I keep going.
And on some days it's so worth it.

Count me in.

Can I join please. I’ve been married over 25 years. Six years years ago DH had his 2nd emotional affair followed by a breakdown. Things have not been the same since and I need to make a decision whether I want to leave. It’s very easy to blame the whole situation in him but tbh I’m not happy with me and I’m not sure that I would be happier alone. So I have started daily yoga and eating 16:8. I need to sort skin care, clothes house and most importantly making new friends Which is not easy during lockdown especially if you’re chronically shy.

Oooh il join please!

I want to sort out my sleep routine.
Also, less screen time (this impacts sleep).
Get out for a walk every day.
Make more effort to be social.
Continue with my healthy eating and vitamin supplements.
Continue meditating every day and regular body scans to check if I’m stressed/holding tension in my body.

Yes please!

I’m in, just starting divorce process, still living together it’s awful. I have no idea how to be independent have been with him since I was 17, so over 30 years I just can’t see an end to this horrible bit, selling house sorting finances I have been mostly sahm, have no self confidence, don’t even have a bank account, it is all so daunting. Need to find me, have no idea how, I am so use to being controlled in every way that the thought of him not controlling my every move is amazing but also unknown to me, and so scary, any helpful tips for surviving divorce would be greatly appreciated. Once it’s done then I will feel free enough to write a ME list, but I will enjoy everyone else’s until then.

You're all very welcome - come on in! Sorry to hear about your difficult circumstances but am so happy we can be here to support eachother. The future starts here...

Thank you OP.
I'd like to join.
Stuck in a loveless marriage for almost 22years and today before seeing your post I wrote down in my diary, 'Happy Single Day'.
I don't know what that looks like but I don't want to be bound to another human person anymore.
But it's scary. I need to learn and relearn so many things and your list is exactly the kinds of things I'm working towards.
So thank you

@user1497873278
Tips- take it one step at a time.
The what ifs are too much, your brain will into overdrive.
Get as much support as you can. Talk to people you trust.

I’ll join you :)
I’m still in the process of figuring out what I need/want and it would be nice to have company on the way :)

Can I also join?

I think I have a list as long as my arm but at the same time I’m not actually sure what I need to do .

I love this idea, I'd love to join in. I'm a single parent to 4 children, 2 have autism and im getting over a horrible break up which happened in November. Since it happened I havent been taking proper care of myself which i really need to change.

I would suggest that following the Adveita Vedanta philosophy a good path to follow.

Hi everyone! Ah I'm sorry for some of the circumstances that have led you here but so happy to have so many allies together. Strength in numbers and all, and I hope we can all learn from eachother. I'm going to have a look at that philosophy noego thanks.

My best advice for the early days of a break up are words that a fellow mumsnetter gave me: to take it minute by minute, just try to calm my breathing whatever the scenario and sweet coffee if you're struggling to eat. I wish I'd understood how strong and capable I was when I was being controlled by my exH (16 years).

All welcome... more the merrier.

I’m in :) I want to get rid of my debt, retrain, learn Spanish and build some serious muscle/lose body fat

I'm in! Newly divorced mum of 2! I was looking for a positive single mums group - women who are badass and awesome, and I am so glad I found this thread!

I have only been on my own for less than a week but I am not going to be a victim and I am not going to be sorry for myself. This is what I am going to do instead:

I am learning to choose myself and love myself.
I am not letting myself into falling for people who are unavailable. No more heartbreaks!
I have quit alcohol (4 days but all going well!) as I was drinking my way through my marriage.
I am finding who I am and what I am capable of.
I am learning to be brave and proud of who I am.

I recently read a wonderful quote that I think of whenever I feel weak:
"I did not come this far to only come this far".

I think of all the dark times I have been through and my divorce and all the heartbreak that came with it. And I am so grateful to the past me for having the courage to deal with those issues. It was so very hard. I feel like I owe it to Kirsty from one year ago, who suffered so much, to go on and love my life and be myself and live just the way I always thought I couldn't.

Can I join?

I am a single mum of a toddler. I am trying to recover from a very abusive relationship.

I don’t have a lot of time to myself but I have been trying to do yoga with Adriene everyday.

Hooray more allies! You're very welcome and I love the energy here already.

I love the quote KirstyHasLeft, and it's an interesting thought of what we have to thank our past selves for. I always say that out loud whenever I defrost something I've batch cooked weeks before "Thanks Past Blurpblorp!"

I would really love to join you all!!

Situation similar to a lot of you, Im a single parent but still have a lot of contact with DH (not divorced yet) due to a shared business. His total lack of empathy and controlling behaviour still causes me anxiety. Need to learn to value myself amongst many other things on the list!

Ive recently got back into excersize which has really helped