Anyone want to start a self-care / self-love / personal development thread?

[Blurpblorp]

I'm not 100% sure how to describe what I mean. I'm a proud mum, divorced, and newly-single and keen to stay that way and figure out who am I after my heart's taken a good bruising these last few years.

Is anyone interested in a thread concerned with self-care / personal development? The things I'm thinking are:

learning to value myself
accept my body for how it is
eat food for nourishment and pleassure, not mindless chomping
commit to moving my body for fun, not brainless calorie burning
work out what I really want out of life
challenge my white privilege
activism for causes that matter to me like climate change and racism
try and understand why I place such emphasis on validation from men
learn how to set and maintain barriers
understand where my 'imposter syndrome' comes from
change things I don't like about my personality and if I can't change them, accept them.
get a proper skincare regime
consider my spirituality
save money
finish up the DIY projects at home and get my house as I want it

So many things. Would anyone like to join? If so, what are your circumstances and what's on your list?

Feelsomewhatlost constantly telling you to lose weight if you wanted him to stay?! A hearty CONGRATULATIONS from me on getting rid of the dead wood! and a pair of tough titties to him for thinking he can change you. You took control and didn't beg him to stay. Remember that...

A bit late to the party here but I would also love to join!

Welcome welcome AspiringAmazon!!

Today I am going to drink lots more water and I have got the sewing machine out. I am late fifties and find clothes a bit dull and drab in the shops so I will give it a go to make my own.
I remember reading a poem years ago about a woman who was determined to wear a purple hat in her old age. I cannot remember the title but I loved it.

@buggeroffvirus I remember that poem! Only when she got older did she not care what people thought anymore. Fantastic that you're going to start making your own clothes. So envious... I'm not skilled in that way. Go you!

Well I heard this song this morning and it made me feel EPIC. Listen to the words

Love that song x

I finally did something about the crippling headaches I’ve been having-I have made an appointment to be seen tomorrow:)

And now I’m in the middle of a home made facial 😂

Hooray @BuddhaAtSea great steps what's in your homemade facial??

Face wash
Exfoliating
Some acid peeler
Clay face mask
Serum
Moisturiser

Couldn’t be bothered to get some cucumber slices, but I did 45 min of yoga, and now in bed :)
Try it, it’s so nice before bed :)

A nice skincare routine goes a long way. A hot soak or shower helps a lot too. Simple acts of self-care go a long way I think.

Hello - how's everyone doing? I'm a bit low on enthusiasm today. It's probably the weather... it's gloomy where I am so I've lit candles on my desk and I've been working on my laptop all day. It's given a nice calm ambience to the day but now I just want to curl up and watch a cosy movie.

I've been considering my spirituality these last few days and how I want this to manifest in my life. What's been on your minds today?

Omg! This is the thread I’ve been looking for, for years!

@BluIpdorp I just love the contrast. Candles and 21 Century computing.
I had never tried that.
I was chasing around to deliver 'sample' to surgery. Then to a different Supermarket and got all the outstanding items.
Trivial but what I wanted.

Draft report needed tomorrow so no tv tonight for me

Welcome @Karcheer good to have you here. What's on your list?

@soruff yes it was quite nice and I think I'll do it again. Glad you ticked things off your to do/get list. Hope you got your sample there without incident! Hope you report goes well and doesn't take up the entire evening x

thank you @Blurpblorp had a bit of a funny day today too – it's like I'm only just realising how much my life has changed, I'm having to figure out a completely new routine that doesn't include living with a partner! but I finished week 1 of C25K today and cooked a really nice stir fry for dinner, so I'm congratulating myself on acing self-care today.

what would you say your spirituality is, out of curiosity?

Hello everyone, still getting on with the sewing but feeling a bit fed up. Has anyone tried Beauty Box £10 a month. I am feeling like treating myself. It looks like a good deal and I could save money because I keep spending on Amazon.
I have made an effort today and put my face on and wearing a dress that I forgot I had and it still fits....just

Spirituality is very complex, I personally believe that it is connected to humanity. I have a photograph of myself when I was 6. I am sitting on a beach and I remember the day it was taken.
When I begin to feel weak I sit and look at the child in the picture and I remember that this is who I am caring for. The child in that picture had a hellish childhood and deserves better.
This may seem simplistic but self serving but spirituality wears many different faces.

Spirituality is very complex, I personally believe that it is connected to humanity. I have a photograph of myself when I was 6. I am sitting on a beach and I remember the day it was taken.
When I begin to feel weak I sit and look at the child in the picture and I remember that this is who I am caring for. The child in that picture had a hellish childhood and deserves better.
This may seem simplistic but self serving but spirituality wears many different faces.

I totally agree with you @buggeroffvirus especially using the photo of yourself as a child. Such a good idea.

@buggeroffvirus

Spirituality is very complex, I personally believe that it is connected to humanity. I have a photograph of myself when I was 6. I am sitting on a beach and I remember the day it was taken. When I begin to feel weak I sit and look at the child in the picture and I remember that this is who I am caring for. The child in that picture had a hellish childhood and deserves better. This may seem simplistic but self serving but spirituality wears many different faces.

@Buggeroffvirus I'm sorry you had such a difficult childhood. What you say is so true, and what I meant earlier when @HalfDutchGirl questioned whether self-love is truly achievable. As an adult I struggle with it but thinking about me as a little girl, there's no question that I love and want the best for her. Hope you can put your picture up pride of place in your home so that you can show little you how revered and loved she is also high five for fitting in your dress!

You are so right @Blurpblorp maybe that's how I need to look at things, I didn't have a deprived childhood in the normal sense of the word but I was deprived of love, especially my mother. Interestingly I've been looking through old photos recently and there are very few of my Mother and I when I was tiny, all of me and my Dad.

I need to look at that young child in the photos and realise that she is worth more, and that my age right now is of no consequence, it's never too old to start learning to love yourself.

I think we all need to learn to focus on the little things. I think a lot of us get so caught up in the big stuff in life and (I believe) social media exacerbates that, that we need to, stop and just breathe and smell the roses and step off that tread mill when we can.

Thank you for this thread

@HalfDutchGirl I so totally agree with the learn to focus on little things.
Straight after my marriage breakdown I instantly felt I needed to get the house on the market and sort the big things out which destroyed my head more. But I stopped and started focusing on myself and doing what I need to do for me so i come out the stronger person x

Can I join in please? I'm in an unhappy marriage, long-term depressed & chronically ill, unemployed and overweight; feeling like a terrible parent much of the time, especially in lockdown.

Right now, I'm trying to build some positive routines for myself - just little stuff like flossing everyday, taking my meds on time and showering every evening.

Thanks for creating this thread, OP.

@HalfDutchGirl lovely lovely.... the small things are everything. And as you say, they're often the things that can make you stop amidst life's busyness... the smell of good coffee, a warm comfortable blanket, a smile from a loved one. I'm always happier when I'm paying attention to the small things...

@Rocaille welcome and have some I'm sorry you're in an unhappy time. But I LOVE that you're building positive routines for yourself. What is it about flossing that makes a person feel so good and in control of life? Or is that just me? I have to take meds everyday too and often forget or think "I haven't got time". Very damaging message to give yourself... and I know my self-care is waning when I don't take my meds when I should. Great that you're prioritising these routines and they're a great platform to build on for whatever you choose next xx

@chikynoonoo The strength you have now is hard fought and won. Congratulations

Morning all happy Friday. What self-care can you do for yourselves today? I've just completed a week on a women's multivitamin. Not sure if it's working yet but am feeling good a out taking them everyday nonetheless

Hi, please can I join?

I am a single parent of two girls, 11 and 9. I have lost my job after 5 years of very hard work and about 2 of gradually increased bullying from senior management. I have no income, living off savings, trying to find a way forward but job hunting is hard in lock down and I spend many days just muddling through with the kids.
Who, sorry for the bluntness, are often doing my head in. I am so sick of being a fucking servant and days that feel like just relentless whingeing.

I have a boyfriend whom I've been seeing for about 18 months. he's nice but he has a tendency to talk more than he listens, mostly about all the trivial worries of his day. I don't know if hearing all that is good for me at the moment. In real / normal life he is a positive influence - lots of walking, fresh air, cultural stuff, great sex. but at the moment it's a lot of phone conversations about how frustrating all the stuff in his life is (all the same stuff as everyone in this weird claustrophobic time)

So I have been over eating, over drinking, not exercising enough, not getting enough done.

I really badly need to lose weight. Can I ask the 16:8 people more about that?

Right now I am going to have a bit of a jog and shake things up. Exercise is the first thing for me, I think.

I'nm going to go and jog NOW. wish me luck

So happy to meet you all!