Anyone want to start a self-care / self-love / personal development thread?

[Blurpblorp]

I'm not 100% sure how to describe what I mean. I'm a proud mum, divorced, and newly-single and keen to stay that way and figure out who am I after my heart's taken a good bruising these last few years.

Is anyone interested in a thread concerned with self-care / personal development? The things I'm thinking are:

learning to value myself
accept my body for how it is
eat food for nourishment and pleassure, not mindless chomping
commit to moving my body for fun, not brainless calorie burning
work out what I really want out of life
challenge my white privilege
activism for causes that matter to me like climate change and racism
try and understand why I place such emphasis on validation from men
learn how to set and maintain barriers
understand where my 'imposter syndrome' comes from
change things I don't like about my personality and if I can't change them, accept them.
get a proper skincare regime
consider my spirituality
save money
finish up the DIY projects at home and get my house as I want it

So many things. Would anyone like to join? If so, what are your circumstances and what's on your list?

OMG I was just thinking this!!

I nee to put my self first and find my voice and stand up for myself.
I’m rubbish and have huge guilt after

I'm in!

May I join please? :)
Great list OP, quite a few things on your list that I also need to work on.

My self esteem has been shattered and confidence plummeted over the years.
In the last 2 weeks I've started saying "you look pretty/amazing/smart/confident today" every time I catch myself in the mirror. I realise I must love and appreciate myself more than I ever have. I think it's beginning to work because I go out into the world with my head up and will smile at people.

Just to mirror a few of your circumstances, I'm a single mum of 3, cheated on for a year by my partner of 11 years, he left last November.

Hoping to gain some tips and follow a few journeys here

Thanks for having me! I've recently been doing some self care meditations and listening to affirmations which have been nice! X

Welcome new recuits! You're very welcome.

How are you all feeling today? I not sleeping at all well at the moment so am tired but the affirmations idea has cheered me up Taetoes!!! Maybe we should all just do one nice thing for ourselves today? Like an affirmation or give yourself permission to do nothing with a cuppa for 10 minutes.

I will join, sounds just what I need at the moment 😄 I also have had my confidence battered over the years and repack self esteem, although I do sit and challenge negative thoughts about myself these days and try tell myself positives! Also want to get a skin care routine going as I think this will help with confidence.

Excuse this spelling I'm blaming the phone!

Hi, can I join, single after a failed marriage and a failed long term relationship (both of who had affairs with other women who they’re now still with).

Two grown up kids who I’m insanely proud of but most of the time feel pretty worthless. Lockdown, being on my own at home and being furloughed doesn’t help. I’m a strong character usually but everything has knocked me for six and even though each day I pick myself up and start to try again, each day it’s getting tougher.

Do you truly believe self-love/care can help? I’ve had endless life coach appointments (too expensive to continue) and even though she was great and gave me good tools, really, truly believing that I am ok and I should love myself is so very difficult.

I look forward to being a part of this group and seeing how others view this and how they truly do start loving themselves 💓

I slept quite well last night. Did 20 minutes spin yesterday to tire myself out so I’ll keep that up to see if it helps. My sleep has been so bad since lockdown, probably anxiety and being on my phone too much constantly checking for information.

Meditation definitely helps, and if my brain feels fried I start limiting screen time.

The weather is a bit unpredictable here today but will get out for a walk at some point.

Also started tidying the garage. Having things in order definitely helps me feel better mentally.

Hope everyone else is ok today?

what a great idea! lets start this :) well done Blurpblorp

Can I join - in a semi new relationship after leaving an abusive scary situation of four years.
My boundaries are all over the place.
I’m bored
I struggle with my body confidence
And want to start my own business but feel useless most of the time.

I'm in. My very first comment

@DDIJ do you have a garden or balcony? I'm certainly not green fingered but have started planting lots of pots in my garden and also planting vegetables - never thought I'd say that!! It's very gratifying when you see them growing.

@TwilightPeace Agree with what you say about having things in order is great for mental health (really should start on my garage!).

I'd like to join too.

10 months out of an abusive relationship, going through divorce. Have recently met someone who has completely blown me away but really need to work on myself to make it successful.

I've been having post-DA psychotherapy and been doing mindful journaling sessions, have been working with a nutritionist and have lost over 20lb, and have been trying to take back up old hobbies like reading and sewing (single mum to 2 young kids so it's hard to do too much at the moment!)

I'm really conscious that, in the scheme of things, I'm fairly newly single and went through some terrible things, the court process for custody only finished a couple of weeks ago. And I have quickly developed strong feelings for someone new so I need to continue to work on myself, hold back a bit, not rush in, not give up on myself/my identity and give myself too quickly to another relationship.

Lovely to find some similar people to go through this with!

Hi everyone, and welcome to all new joiners! How have your evenings been?

Any ideas what your interest to do at home could be DDIJ? I always wished I had a hobby I was mad keen on... I've never found anything that's stuck. I've got a paint by numbers on the way though which I'm excited about

Notimefor - so exciting that you want to start your own business and you've written it down now so it's a step closer. Do you want to say anything more about it?

I caught myself in a cycle of negative thoughts earlier and stopped it part way through. That's my success for the day.

I also just found this which is just what I need! www.audaciouswellness.com/blog-1/30-ways-to-nourish-yourself-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-food

Hi all can I join ? This sounds like a good place to check into.
I’m a single mum to two. I struggle with self care- I might go a week or so looking after myself : exercise, eating well, reading, making plans and list, organising the house then I slip !. I need to maintain it, will look forward to any tips any of you have and try to offer and I gain :-)

This is something I have been trying to do and what has been working so far is a routine, I get up do an online exercise class, work from home, try and get a walk in, have dinner, watch tv then do a yoga type class at 9pm and in bed afterwards.

In with that I try and do something like moisturise my feet or read

I’m in too please.

Ten months out of an abusive relationship (coercive control). He messed with my mind, and my confidence and self esteem are on the floor.

I’m 50 in a few weeks and feeling scared of the future and the loneliness. All friends busy with their families etc.

Am my own worst critic, so going to start by trying to say nice things to myself today and see if that helps.

Not in a break up situation. I got divorced last year and have a new guy. However I have lost control of my chronic illness (ME) and am now struggling with life’s basics. I need to look after myself better to improve my energy levels and reduce my pain. Healthy food, mindful movement, low stress, happy things!

Morning all and welcome to new joiners

Walkingwounded - by the sounds of it you've got yourself an early birthday present getting rid of him! And a wonderful opportunity to start afresh.

Home42 hope this thread helps you to regain some control. I've just started on Wellwoman tablets; day 4 and really hoping they help. My sleep is dire lately and I know it's a symptom that I'm not managing things well.

What's on your minds this morning? Will you all be able to find some time for yourselves this weekend?

Hello. I’d love to join please. I’m living with my STBEXH and need a boost! My list:

• find the courage to be on my own.
• find the courage to move out and on.
• work on my comfort eating.
• drink less alcohol.

There are lots more but the above will take some effort & are a good start!

I like the idea of all of us doing something nice for ourselves today.

Walkingwounded same here just turned 50 have spent 30 years in a controlled relationship, feeling sad alone and totally lost.

Today I’ve eaten a healthy breakfast and taken a morning walk! I’ve had a lovely chat with the boyfriend who is working today. I have a quiet day of playing with DD planned. I’m still exhausted and I’m a lot of pain but I feel happy!