Porn

[Helpthisgirl]

Ok, a year ago I found out my boyfriend was paying for porn pictures and what ever else online, it completely broke me, he wouldn’t wank a lot he said, anyways yesterday I found him wanking again he said he stopped doing it, I left the house for 2 minutes to go to the shop but I came back because the shop was to busy, he said he wouldn’t use porn again because of how it makes me feels ect but yet again he’s just lieing to me,
He said is just porn he uses but I can’t believe him, what should I do, we have 3 kids together and I’m pregnant,
He said last night he won’t Stop the porn,

So in my head I have to leave,??
Has the happen to anyone before?
How can I trust him, I feel like every time my back is turned he will be online wanking,

@Raidblunner

shaking hands with shorty 😂😂😂😂

(Sorry, Helpthisgirl. My sympathy is with you, really.)

Its just an expression, certainly wasn't meant to be trivial. However apologies if you found it offensive.

I’m not defending him,
But I think lot of men hind things from the other half’s,
I’m like a dog with a bone I don’t stop if I think something wrong, I have checked everything all the time for the past year, bank statements phone, I know you can delete stuff, but I think he would slip up,
Before when I confronted him He would be all. Defensive And angry, but he isn’t anymore,
People move on from Affairs So I really hope we can move on from this, only time will tell
If he’s using the sites again he will one day slip up the truth always comes out.
Maybe I am being naive and stupid,
I’m not looking on this anymore as it’s puts me in a mood, and I’m sick of thinking about it,
Thank you for everyone

I think you're right to work through it. Best of luck 💐

I think everyone has a right to watch porn and have a wank if that’s what they want to do . It’s their body and as long as they aren’t hurting anyone ,I just don’t see it as anybody else’s business .
That said op , if you don’t want to accept it , don’t , just leave . Don’t stay for financial reasons

They are hurting someone though.

Their partner for one.

The girls and women who in the main are trafficked into porn, by creating and maintaining the market that ensures the people traffickers continue to traffic vulnerable girls and young women.

And society as a whole. Turning over our sexuality to misogynistic pornographers is not in the interests of our culture, our society or the individuals within it.

This moronic individualistic idea that people can do as they like without thinking about the impact on wider society and if no one actually drops dead in front of them at that point it's okay, is not ethically or philosophically valid.

And it denies the damage porn is doing to relationships like that of the OP.

not hurting anyone else

Well, as long as you have great sex and he tells you he loves you, there's nothing you can't get over

But then I never "got over an affair"...I left my husband for having an affair and disrespecting me and our children. Because I deserve better than that.

Maybe stop having children together if he can't look after them without feeling the need to wank.

Also, he calls you fat and ugly and then you have sex with him...goodness me.

See you back here soon then OP.

I've read some real porn apologist drivel on this thread.
It's almost like something from The Handmaids Tale...

I agree with screamingbeans

I have a real issue with people saying this sort of thing is okay. I found out my dh (who admittedly, I'd previously idolised) had been watching porn (albeit mild). I had just had a baby at the time/peri-menopause and major renovations going on. Had no clue my dh was doing this until I had inadvertently stumbled upon something he had recorded by mistake. My whole perception of him changed unfortunately. I have had a traumatic childhood for which I am currently seeking therapy (and now this) and I am amazed at how I no longer trust him and no longer respect him (there have been additional things said as well which is tantamount to emotional abuse). I have barely any extended family and 3 dcs including one who has behavioural issues and another very young one. No job. Didn't need to work and desperately wanted to be around for my dcs (again back to childhood stuff). Now I'm trapped. I don't really have many people around me in real life and as I said barely any extended family. I'm trying to keep sane for the dcs. My dh is more like a housemate/childcare support. I am lonely but I look at the alternative and that doesn't seem too great either. Trying to work out how I'm going to build some sort of life. Never in a million years expected to feel this way, I always felt smug that whilst I came from an extremely dysfunctional family where abuse was rife, I had succeeded in forming my own happy family. This has come as a massive blow. Been with dh for 20 years.