Porn

[Helpthisgirl]

Ok, a year ago I found out my boyfriend was paying for porn pictures and what ever else online, it completely broke me, he wouldn’t wank a lot he said, anyways yesterday I found him wanking again he said he stopped doing it, I left the house for 2 minutes to go to the shop but I came back because the shop was to busy, he said he wouldn’t use porn again because of how it makes me feels ect but yet again he’s just lieing to me,
He said is just porn he uses but I can’t believe him, what should I do, we have 3 kids together and I’m pregnant,
He said last night he won’t Stop the porn,

So in my head I have to leave,??
Has the happen to anyone before?
How can I trust him, I feel like every time my back is turned he will be online wanking,

He's crazy. There's so much free porn, why is he paying for it?!

He called you fat and ugly and you are carrying his child. Show him the door the disrespectful pig!
£10 a day which could be going on his kids but would rather spend it on getting his kicks. Gross.

If he has said he is just using free porn why cant you believe him? Not acceptable to call you fat and ugly, sounds like he was pushed into a corner and said it in anger. Have you spoken since? I think if he says that he is not spending money on it you need to let him crack on in private and not be asking about his wanking

My worry would be the children could walk in and see the porn ..or / and see what he was doing while porn was on.
That’s bad for their development/ mental heath ..you might find social services end up involved,as the children could tell someone what they have seen.
I

When left with the kids he should be looking after them ...the fact that you came back early and caught him at it ,says to me the kids could of easily walked in and seen it ...how do you know they haven’t seen it? As he seems to be watching it at every opportunity £280 a month is a huge chunk of money to waste ..
He’s got an addiction I think ,..not sure I’d be sticking around in your shoes .

My kids have never seen anything they was playing in there room, he uses his phone n he would of Hurd if a child was walking down the stairs, I know it’s not ok,
Maybe I do over think the Wanking I’m always asking him I’m always on his phone and
Trying to catch him doing it.
But I wasn’t like this before I found out he was paying for it and he was on site like adult work, I do look as his bank so I don’t think he’s paying for anything but I’m so insecure

I know I have put on weight I’m now a size 12/14
But he’s great in other ways, I think he said it in anger I say things in arger,
He said he feel controlled over his own body, I understand why but he should of lied in the first place

Wanking while in charge of kids who are awake is such a massive red flag. And verbal abuse of you.
I think you know the answer.

He always come bed with me at night, and I’m always awake when he goes to work, so he doesn’t have time to it that much I don’t think
He showers with the door open always have, he even use the loo with the door open lol
I never told him to btw

call you fat and ugly, sounds like he was pushed into a corner and said it in anger.

Ofgs, now it's your fault he's calling you names🙄.

Do people actually have so little to no standards? Or is just wanting to be a goady fucker? Like wtaf?

Ok I will got shot down here we have a few quickie while the kids are awake, in the laundry room so it makes me just as bad? Lock door but still,,,

Don't take this badly but you seem a bit all over the place.

I saw a previous thread on here where a woman was a bit unsure about a new relationship. she made a note of every incident so that she could reasure herself that yes these things are happening and its not just her being oversensitive. That could helpful for you?

I am all over the place, I don’t want to lose him to porn

All guys wank, fact of life. Many use porn too, and in most cases it has no impact on their relationship with their DP. If your man is ready, willing and able to do what you want when you want it then there is no reason to challenge him on this.

You have the right to your own boundaries OP, I personally wouldn't be wanting to live with someone who called me fat and ugly, pays a tenner a day to watch probably trafficked women because he's too incompetent to wank without paying for it (even dogs and cats can masturbate FGS, when did men become less competent than four legged animals at this) and sits there wanking while he's supposed to be parenting.

I think you probably deserve better than this and would ignore the voices that say you don't. This man doesn't sound fit to live with a woman.

And just because some women are willing to settle for really piss poor men, doesn't mean you have to.

Actually yes the quickie while the kids are awake and about is just as bad! You have no idea what the kids are doing and I doubt you'd be able to sort yourselves out quick enough if you had to if one of them was in danger or had an accident.

I have told him it’s over, I can’t trust him so there not relationship is there, ofc we live together so he will have to find somewhere, but the moment he lied was the moment he relationship was over, I wanted to to open over porn but he lied over and over again to my face promised me he don’t need it over and over, so no I can’t do it

I watch free porn online and have a wank whenever DP is out (rarely), I would never be speaking to specific men online and paying them to send me private pictures though that would be borderline cheating

@greygadrens88
If he asked you would you like about it?

Lie

He was home with the 3 kids to, they was in the room

Ewww!

His having a go at your appearance just emphasizes that this is not a nice guy and he's obsessed with sex.

Wanking and porn is ok but several times a day is not normal.

Not acceptable to call you fat and ugly, sounds like he was pushed into a corner and said it in anger

@Redskylark He's still in control of what he says, and things like that shouldn't be said, especially as OP is pregnant.

A size 12/14 isn't particularly big either.

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Well done for telling him it's over OP- he sees women (including you) as objects and so he won't care how he treats the/you.

Please stay strong and don't get back with him- you've seen the reality of what he's like as a person.

Don't get me wrong a bit of wanking is ok but his level of sex obsession IMHO rarely stops at online porn, given the opportunity a man as obsessed as that may well seek sexual stimulation in other ways.

Either way, he doesn't sound like a nice guy.

When you feel like the relationship needs to end the final straw might sound insignificant to others but for you it's significant and a build up of issues over the years, like it is in your case. One of my final straws was searching and clicking on porn in what I perceived to be family time. It may sound insignificant to other women but it wasn't to me. It showed his priorities were not for family life and he was constantly thinking about degrading porn sex. It's your relationship and your boundaries and people have no right to tell you what you feel is wrong, that's minimising and gaslighting. Your feelings are important. You are important