He's had three divorces.....avoid?

[user1467480231]

Have met a very charming man, however he has been divorced 3 times and at the end of last year his then partner (who he had his fourth child with) dumped him.
In all other ways he seems lovely, although I'm taking things EXTREMELY slow.
Thoughts?

I wouldn’t touch him with a barge pole personally.

I wouldnt take it slowly..id Run as fast as I could in the other direction

Avoid!!!!

No way would I be interested. Even 2 divorces and I would run.

Do you know why these marriages ended? Doesn't sound good though, sorry!

There are plenty of men to date, why this particular one for you?.

I am certain too he was similarly lovely and charming to them initially.

I would not want to be with a man with such a poor relationship history and the hills are that way >>>.

How does he get on with his ex's; does he bad mouth them openly to you?. Has he at all explained why his three previous marriage have ended and how did they end in that were they acrimonious?. Does he fully support his children financially?.

There's a reason he's got 3 failed marriages and a failed serious relationship behind him. Run, don't walk.

Very complicated with all the exes and four children. Wouldn’t be for me.

He seems to suggest that he never found the right woman and was working away with his job a lot.
But yes, the 3 divorces just keeps niggling away at me and I was wondering if I was being unfair.

My mum is a forth wife to my step father. So much baggage, caused her endless heartache.

There is a reason they all ended and a reason why he is so quick to jump into marriage.

Can you explain how he seems ‘lovely’ ?

I would absolutely not be interested in meeting someone with four children, how has even got the time or energy to ‘date’ when he has four children, surely all his spare time would be spent caring for his own children? Unless he is a useless father in which case he sounds really unattractive.

Run.

Yes, he's very supportive (and financially) to the exes and adores his children with whom he has great relationships with. Never bad mouths the exes and keeps in touch with them all regarding the children.

He seems perfect... so I'm confused by the divorces, but thought I'd ask everyone before I made the decision to go forward with the relationship.

I think I may back out !

No, avoid.

Especially as you describe him as ‘charming’ which is quite often the pleasant side of the manipulative coin.

Even if he is completely blameless (hugely unlikely) it shows alarming levels of bad judgement. Don’t get me wrong, we can all make poor relationship choices/people change, but to make such a big show of commitment as marriage and having children and messing up numerous times is a poor reflection. It’s a pattern of behaviour I wouldn’t be ignoring.

‘Working away with his job’ .... that usually means ‘plenty of opportunities for affairs and avoiding responsibilities at home’.

He never found the right woman, eh? What makes you feel you might be?

Three of the children are in their twenties and thirties.

Run, run as fast as you can from the serial divorcing man.

I think ‘working away’ is not very subtle code for ‘playing away’ OP. I’ve had one like this as a FWB - great fun, brilliant in bed, but utterly unable to keep it in his pants. If you’re looking for a conventional relationship, I would definitely let this one go.

Is his name Ross? Does he call himself The Divorce Force?

He seems perfect. How so?

Anyone else picturing Ross Gellar?

Avoid

Sounds to me like he enjoys the chase and excitement of falling in love and big declarations of love, but the reality of any woman doesn’t live up to the highs he gets when pursuing a new woman.

He’s probably got a wandering eye as well by the ‘never found the right woman’ comment. Do you know if he/ had a wandering penis as well in the past??

So much baggage - unless you have a juggernaut to haul it around in I would remain travelling light

It’s not a good look, it suggests he’s emotionally immature & impulsive - wants the whirlwind of new romance, making promises of “forever” & when the dust settles either bails or shows his true personality so the partner bails. It indicates he doesn’t learn from past mistakes & make better choices.

You describe him as “charming” which is a warning sign - he is good at winning people over but it’s probably an act, the real him is not the person he is currently portraying himself to be. I don’t trust people who are “charming” - I don’t want to be charmed, which is a nicer way of saying “fooled”.

Admittedly, I have been quite surprised with the gushing love comments (we've never been intimate other than one kiss) as I've been keep things on "low" for a long while.
I was destroyed by my own divorce so someone suddenly being besotted with me gave me a bit of a boost, however, I'm not sure this is right.