@BlingLoving thank you
Also I totally agree with:
very often the woman is doing BOTH jobs
And
often men might have earned the bulk of the income, but women were often in charge of the purse strings
Was also certainly true of my grandparents. I remember being quite shocked at a young age noticing my granda getting home from work and handing over his unopened pay packet (in those days and indeed well into the 90s many people were paid in cash in wee square brown envelopes weekly) straight to my gran, who opened it, portioned off money for him for personal spending ("beer money") and kept the rest.
I brought it up with my mum and to her it was perfectly normal and my other grandparents her in laws did things the same.
These were poor families who had to watch every penny, my grandparents all worked at least 2 jobs each. The women did most of the regular buying - mainly groceries but also children's clothes etc so it made sense they were the ones managing the money.
But...my parents didn't do this. My father controlled the money and still does to a point of financial abuse. It's only in recent years mum has even been told how much they have (they have a LOT of money but it suited dad for mum to think they didn't)
Mum still thinks she "couldn't afford" to leave my dad, she could even if she only had her pension from her job and benefits she would manage because she is completely used to managing on a tight budget and isn't one for spending on herself at all. But nearly 50 years of every day, usually multiple times a day of being told she was stupid, irresponsible, ugly, worthless, incompetent etc has of course convinced her she can not cope without him.
@longstockingjayne maybe you're putting up with behaviour/treatment most others wouldn't? You apply criticism to respondents here in long term relationships as 'probably' not having actually good relationships yet you don't know that the relationships you know of in real life are actually good relationships either.
I know of several marriages/long term relationships that to most others are perceived/believed to be good ones yet I know there's been infidelity, control, abuse...
Relatives and friends have skin in the game. A lot of them will be invested in the status quo and will say want they think you want to hear. also very true.
A couple splitting up can inconvenience and trouble others.
After lockdown there will be an increase your n divorce applications as lots of people realise how very little their oh does. people aren’t waiting until after lockdown. I’ve a few friends are family lawyers/work for them and just around 2 weeks in they were noticing a rise in custom re divorce.
My post was about less serious issues. what do you class as ‘less serious’?
I don't know any divorced woman who left on a whim.
Me neither...but I know plenty of women in miserable relationships believing they can “rescue” or “change” the man.
I know a handful of people still in their first ltr/marriage and it’s a good, equal, happy marriage.
I know a bit more than a handful more in 2nd ltr/marriages where these are good, equal, happy marriages having learned from their 1st marriages what they will and won’t put up with.
A stat often quoted is about 2nd and subsequent ltr being more likely to break up, I think at least one factor for this is people who’ve been through one break up don’t fear it as much and so if there’s bad/unreasonable behaviour they’re less likely to tolerate it.