Just for laughs, what's the most ridiculous comment your ex has thrown at you during divorce?

[Cherrypop99]

Having watched "Marriage Story" last night, I had to chuckle as it seems that during a divorce, two people (who were once in love) seemingly always end up ripping each other to shreds!

I received a foul letter from my ex via my lawyer yesterday with wording that read : "As you are aware your client has a well-documented history of abuse, physical assault and harassment. As a result of her behaviour, your client has been advised by the police to cease all contact with me." No idea where this came from, but I cried with laughter!!

Oh.... the games we all play hey?!!! Anyone else got any funny divorce stories to tell?

Light hearted thread

New here hi. My ex told his mum that he had to leave cause he was only 92% happy! Wonder what the 8% was. Long time ago and now married to someone that doesn’t talk like a pie chart x

My exh was denying he had anger issues and had never shown any violent behaviour in our relationship. Sat around a table waiting for the hearing to start, our solicitors were sat there. I may have happened to mention it had been me who reported him for drink driving - he threw himself across the table and tried to grab my throat...
Saved dd and ds from having any contact with him.
Sadly he got limited with youngest as apparently they weren't as traumatised by his actions in the home...
Faded out as they got older and got the measure of him...

@frazzledasarock

Oh there was more, like the time he brought the OW round. They just walked in, I went for OW and screamed for her to get out.

STBXH physically restrained me and after I'd calmed down I said, "What did you think would happen? Did you think we would sit around drinking tea?"

Well apparently he did.

I think he might have been developing some mental illness, his father has schizophrenia and some of his behaviour was similar to his fathers.

Although reading all of these, maybe he was just being a cunt.

Oh god I’m so sorry you had to face that.

Ex tried to move OW into our house when I refused he moved her into his rental property, which he’d bought by clearing out all my savings and trying to remortgage our house.

Also once we were divorced, I’d occasionally have to use a bus stop opposite his house (his ‘rental’ property was a short walk from my house!). For some reason he decided to jump into his car and repeatedly drive slowly past the bus stop I was standing at whilst his wife walked up and down the front of the house holding their baby. My dc asked what was going on as ex and his wife were making so much fuss. Then as ex slowed down even more going past the bus stop I was standing at, a police car suddenly appeared behind him forcing him drive away properly 😆

@caringcarer I’ve had a similar thing happen. A fair few of “his” friends cut contact with him once they knew what happened and they’re still friends of mine over 15 years later. It really bugs him! He tried at various points to convince them he wasn’t a lying cheat, by (as I previously mentioned) trying to claim that the child conceived while we were still together was premature. “His” friends didn’t buy that bullshit either!

A few did stay friends with him after, but very much at a distance as they didn’t feel they could entirely trust him any more.

But the AA thing?! Wtf! I had an accident not long after we split, stupid minor one my own fault hit a bollard in a car park but I had dd with me and the car wouldn’t start. Despite us being at loggerheads at the time ex did come and get us and dropped dd and I home, I’d called recovery service but they’d said it would take a few hours and it was winter and I wanted to get dd home. I can’t imagine my ex being SO bloody minded as to leave me stranded.

@JulaJ welcome - please keep posting especially gems like

“Long time ago and now married to someone that doesn’t talk like a pie chart” 😂

The audacity of them! It’s absolutely breathtaking!

I’ve not long left my boyfriend of 3 years, who thinks I’m beautiful, has no issue with not only touching me but it’s (shock horror) proud to hug and kiss me on public and claim me as his.

He sounds like a decent guy. Why did you leave him? @OurChristmasMiracle

@headachesbythedozen I meant left as in went to work 🤣 I’m very much still with him, and don’t see that changing

Xh had an affair and during wreckonciliation, told me I should be chasing him... .

wreckonciliation Love it

You dont cherish me , jane cherishes me ( jane was the affair, married with 2 kids)

These are awful!

I’m not abusive, you shouldn’t have ready that book it just put crazy ideas into your head

(Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft)

I ironed his shirts wrong.

Shagging a stripper isn’t cheating

I forced him to spend thousands of pounds on a motorbike ( post split) the cost of which would be deducted from any settlement

The day I moved out: 'you'll never met anyone better than me' ....ok mate I'll take my chances...

When I told him I was getting married again 'well I hope you're making a will so that the house I bought you goes to our daughter.'

I think my mil has the most outrageous story. During her divorce her stbxh had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital. As she did still care for him, despite his appalling behaviour, she went to the hospital to be there for him. He was very thankful and asked if she could drive to the airport to pick up his girlfriend as he was stuck in the hospital.
She went home instead.

An alternative divorce story.

Sunday evening discovered dh had been financially abusing me.
Monday morning I text him to move out.
He did that day.
Filed for divorce that day on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour.
He agreed to the 'charges'.
Signed and sent back immediately.
Never seen him since that Sunday evening.
No cross texts. No nasty emails. No face to face conversation.
Some deal. Cost me less than £500 including name change!

These are hilarious !
How deluded are these men ?
My ex , explaining the reason I should stay after finding out about of his affair with a drug using 28 year old male escort , " but you get to live in a nice house "
Yes , and I will continue to live in this " nice" house with my children but without you ! Wanker

Her: "Us splitting has affected me so much, I'll stay single for at least two years"

Me: "You can't promise that..."

Her (aggressively): "I'm serious!"

Cue the OM sleeping over in our marital bed a few weeks later, once I've moved out and I've got the kids for the night...

Mine had to go back 5 years to get enough unreasonable behaviour grounds. That's one a year, so I can't be all bad

I got a ranty email from exs new wife about how she has to work to pay off my debts. When I left ex 10 years ago he emptied our joint bank account and I had to rely on the neighbours to feed me (breastfeeding a newborn) and 1 year old dc as I was left with nothing and didn't even have a bank account for my family to transfer money into!

@Whynosnowyet.

A friend of mine found out her DH was using hard drugs and squandering family money. She threw him out and had bought him out of the house and divorced him within six months. Never saw him again from the day she made him leave. Sadly neither did the kids but probably for the best.

My ex wouldn't allow me to take any furniture as he "bought 99.99% of everything in that house". He also refused to take his daughter to an event that my car wouldn't make it to, 4 hour drive, as his kindness has run out. Then proceeded to put #karma at the end of his text. I didn't cheat, I was controlled....!

Just to lighten the mood a tad, my sister got this in response to her discovering his affair and throwing him out..

' You supposed to fight for me! You would do if you really loved me.'