I’d LOVE to know what the solicitors who have to write the ridiculous letters and perhaps the ones which are extensions of controlling behaviour their clients displayed in the marriage!
@PaterPower my ex tried to maintain that he hadn’t slept with ow despite a baby proving it! He went as far as trying to claim the baby was premature even though a normal weight and mum and baby home day after the birth.
It was around 8 years until he finally admitted it during a drunken call in which he was trying to get back in my pants on the eve of his wedding to ow. He sent texts too which was handy. I could have made his wedding day VERY difficult for both of them. Instead I ignored his pleas to assure him I wouldn’t be saying anything to her or anyone else but I didn’t but I have it on very good authority he basically spent their wedding day dressing me dropping that particular bomb!
Just remembered (there’s SO much to remember!)
This was only a few years ago too (we’ve been split over 15 years) when he left the army (was kicked out, I have my suspicions why but haven’t been able to find out for definite) he was unemployed initially and so yet again not paying cm BUT he found a job quite quickly and didn’t tell me or csa - but plastered it all over sm! So I went back to csa to get the cm reinstated (he’s never been a reliable payer but I kept at it) who in turn contacted them, he still had arrears from previously avoiding paying. When they told him how much he’d have to pay he pitched a fit, swore at the csa person and said he’d quit working and not have to pay anything. Csa person said that was his choice but his army pension was actually enough to cover his payments and as taxable income they could use that instead. He kept working. Didn’t pay every month but I did get some payments out of him before dd aged out of the system. At one point I calculated how much he didn’t pay that he should have and iirc it was over £10,000.
One time I was pleasantly surprised by an impartial persons take on things
After over a year of ex taking the piss, numerous solicitors letters, messing about on contact, taking me to court for the most ridiculous of reasons the judge we got clearly reviewed the case thoroughly and saw right through ex. He agreed to the inclusion in the contact agreement that there was to be no more excuses re contact (said something like he expected ex to be half dead with drs evidence before cancelling again) and no more dragging me back to court to basically just harass me about petty nonsense. This time did make him behave considerably better for the next couple of years. It deteriorated again after that but at that point neither of us were still living under the catchment area of that court.
Pleased though I was at the time - and seeing exes head nearly explode was quite a sight - in hindsight I wish I hadn’t bothered.
With the benefit of hindsight it was clear from the day after we split that ex had little interest in continuing to be in dds life and paid mere lip service to the fact he was her father. I wish now I’d ignored all his goading and provocation and simply let him disappear from our lives inc not paying cm because it would have been far better for dd in the long term.