My husband left me walking 8 miles this night..

[Sunnyseal]

Our relationship was not amazing for the last couple of years (10 years relationship) My husband became emotionally colder, inattentive. But nothing major. I knew it's a very deep crisis we are in.. But..

We were in the unit we are renting for our little printing company. I asked him to do one thing for my university project that didn't turned out great (and I spoiled it further) and I was upset. We came there with my hope to fix it, but it didn't work out, which meant more time and materials to make second version of it. I was upset (I am also very sick now, with ear infection and sinusitis, doing quite demanding masters and drained by exams, he knows all of this). He wasn't getting it. Asked to drive me home, instead of going shopping, very calmly. He stepped back inside, crossing hands demanding explanations and obviously provoking a conflict as I told that wished he put more effort into thing that is important to me..

Our conflicts drain me a lot lately.. I fight depression, have a little bit better period now, and God knows how I want to stay at least this way.. And he also knows it too..

I wanted to chill a bit, and walked out from the court, in direction of home.. Like 30 meters? A bit more? .. I knew he will close the unit, and will go, and I will just get inside when he will go past me over.. but he even didn't look at me and zoomed by me..

Sounds like a bad day. I am sorry you are under so much stress.

I texted him that my phone is dying, I had 3%.. and on this wind that was it.. I stood there for a while then decided to go home as I really don't have other options.

8pm industrial estate, noone there.. I don't have keys from unit, he took them.

It's 8 miles to our home. Mostly industrial estate, then dual carriageway... I was lost a couple of times and panicked thinking that he probably tried to call me, after saw the message, went back and I'm definitely lost and how would he know where I was.
Then the side of dual carriageway with forest.. amazing place to be. I navigated using road signs how to find way back to the town.
Took me 3 hours to get home. I thought he will be mad..

But no.. after he went past me, he just went to get some groceries, and then just went to sleep. He didn't check messages and there were no missed calls from him. We have his mom staying over, helping with our child. She was shocked I came as she thought I was home and she missed me somehow (I'm studying a lot now in one bedroom) as he said nothing and just went to bed..

It sounds like you stormed out and he took that as what you wanted.

At least that's what he'd probably say. In real life you both need to communicate better and more kindly. Also call a cab if that happens. Don't walk 8 miles!

OK x-posted. He doesn't care about you, that's a nasty walk.

He sounds unbelievably selfish. He knows you are unwell and having a really difficult and stressful time and he chooses to pick an argument and leaves you walking home. He could have stopped when he got to you and asked if you were getting in yet chose to drive past you. I wouldn't want to stay with a partner who treated me this way. I would be getting through masters, getting dicks in a row and leaving him. Who I. Their right mind would want to stay with a partner who is emotionally cold towards you and picks argument s when you are I'll. You would be happier with a partner who pampers you when you are I'll and takes the load off you when you are under pressure. Someone who will love you and cherish you. LTB.

I waked him up and told him that he left me at the mercy of strangers and freezing wind (I'm 48 kg teenage-like female, and have no chance against anyone if they wish so).

He just calmely said it was my own choice, denying anything wrong..

I feel so betrayed..

Sorry, that's it!! Thank you so much for your replies

Never storm out.
Why didnt you call a cab

Phone died straight away

So he didn’t do something up to standard for your university project,y ou were critical and lost your rag and walked out on him. He drove home, leaving you to make your own way home.

That happened to me, we’d just popped out so I had no handbag keys phone etc. Just had cast off broken ankle, it was a bank holiday Monday so no buses and taxis around. Ex hubby and I had a row over the present that I wanted for my birthday in 2 months time.( my 10 year old niece was trying to explain how to get my ex to buy it for me using my womanly wiles!) I went outside to cry in private and wait for him kiddies and in-laws to come out. He came out put kiddies in the car I was hopping in general direction when he just drove past. He and the children just stared ahead. 2 seconds later the in-laws did the exact same. I crawled home it took me hours. Half expecting him to drive alongside me at anytime! I got home to find kids playing happily. Everyone having a lovely cup of tea and takeaway for all of them ordered. I just crawled up stairs and carried on crying firstly over the treatment and also over the pain. I stupidly stayed married to him, but that was one of the times that I should have left him!!! Anything like this then leave him, it’ll get worse

Teenage like female 🤯

I wouldn't tolerate that from a relationship, arguing or not. I've had some bad rows with DP, but he's never driven off leaving me stranded. Especially if he know's i'm not well, relationships can be tricky at times and not always plain sailing, but at the core of it is respect. Sometimes that's easy to forget.
Ask yourself would he leave his mother, father, sister, mate in a position he left you in? Probably not, because he respects them.
Seems like there are some deeper issues, that I hope you sort out, if not, maybe it's time to walk away.

Sounds like the end of your marriage.

That was a terrible thing to do to you. It was not your fault for storming out
He doesn't sound nice.

Do you have any support around you? Anyone you can talk to about this in real life? Family? Friends?

It was a bit shitty for him to drive past you, but you have acted a bit like a martyr. You chose to storm off, and you didn't get the reaction you wanted. Sounds a bit childish and like you were playing games. If my partner did this, I would be tempted to let them get on with it. If you throw a strop you have to be prepared to follow through without the expectation of being 'rescued.'

But again, I am judging his character for driving past you and leaving you in those conditions, as a human being I couldn't do that to someone, no matter how cunty I thought they were being. I do think your relationship is in trouble and it's not just one sided. You need to evaluate things pronto.

But... you should be doing your own university work surely?
And what do you mean when you say you walked out of the court?

Was trying to post, but it failed.. think I just realised this bad things actually are.
I would have never done this not only to him, but I can't even imagine if I could leave anyone without a wallet with dying phone, sick, 8 miles away from home (area is rough there, without exaggeration) and then just peacefully go to sleep..

I accidentally left voting on, I know people will think it was some sort of hysteric from my side or something, but it wasn't. I walked calmely a bit, it wasn't a "fit" as I explained how drained I am after conflicts. He never rises his voice, yet conflicts with him are extremely draining, and I am trying to avoid these.

Messaged my friend who knows both of us and she's shocked.. I just need to talk really.. thank you for your replies.. it's a bit easier now as I wrote this..

It sounds like she was printing maybe IDK a poster or her thesis or something and something got messed up and she needed his help. I didn't get the impression he was helping her with the work itself, just the presentation aspects of it. @nothingwrong

You’re not being unreasonable. Doesn’t matter how things went in an argument or even if you were being difficult, he shouldn’t have left you in danger. It’s essentially punishment for upsetting or angering him and that’s a dick move. A line you don’t cross, no matter what.

Sounds like maybe there was bad behaviour and miscommunication on both sides, but him just leaving you there and then going to sleep, not even bothering to see if you would get home alright... That's really horrible. Leaving someone stranded would be a nasty thing to do to a casual acquaintance, but to do that to his own wife is heartless. I'd be bouncing between devastation and fury.

It's time for a serious conversation. The only way I'd stay would be if he seemed truly sorry and understood that this kind of thing is not okay and can never happen again.

I don't want this to be outing any way, but that is not related to grades at all.
That is a standard "half of square" court of units. I just walked out of it..

sounds like you were nagging him and he just had enough, so opted out.
sorry you were stranded, he probably assumed you would get cab.
he may have had enough and just wanted some peace.
I get the feeling from the way you write that there has been a lot of bickering for a long time. you seem to be expecting him to consider you but maybe he is feeling the same way, that you fail to consider him and just expect him to sort out your problems.

you are obviously under a lot of stress, but it seems that you have taken on too much and are then blaming him for not being able to achieve it.
marriage has to be give and take. maybe he feels used and is fed up.
it was wrong to leave you, but was there no other way to get back. no trade premises you could have gone into to ask to make one call, or charge your phone.
the way you describe the argument about the print project sounds a bit childish. you failed to complete your project and then blamed him.

anyway I don't mean to blame you , but perhaps you have drifted into a masochistic/victim/ martyr mode. its not healthy.
don't waste any more energy in recriminations.
use your energy to reorganise your life. try to be matter of fact, deal with practicalities, esp as your have a child. do what's best for him/her. good luck.

I don’t know could he have thought you were getting a cab?

It doesn’t sound like there is any love left in your marriage.

Personally though, you sound extremely needy, needing him to help you with your university work, needing him to drive you to the unit. Then you accusing him of not caring or helping you. Storming off on your own, expecting him to rescue you yet again. It’s not very mature or smart. Perhaps he’s just had enough. Could you have walked to the nearest transport hub /petrol station/phone box? You walked off with no means of communication did you have any money on you?

Depression is god awful, I’ve been there, ive wanted to die and I have had therapy and years of medication. I’ve also lived with person who suffered their own mental health issues, who expected me to be responsible for their mental health. You give your everything but it’s never good enough. You’re doomed to fail them because we are only human. When I was putting them first all the time he didn’t need to work on sorting himself out with medication or tackling the root causes of his problems (work for him mainly). He was prone to random storming off episodes and I would worry sick about him. It felt like emotional blackmail, forcing me to go after him all the time. The day before I left the relationship he did something very similar to what you did (but we were a greater distance from home) and he just jumped off a train mid-argument at a random station and I didn’t follow him.

There are two sides to every story. But you largely put yourself in that situation. You need to come up with a better plan to sort out your own demons. Depression is awful and cruel but love cannot cure you, it can help of course, are you seeking professional help? Are you taking regular medication, if it’s not working have you seen your GP? Are their any support groups locally? Is the university aware? Can they help you?

I hope you sort your university project out. I hope you sort your relationship out. I hope you find the strength and proper professional support to sort your mental health out.

He doesn't have any remorse, neither he feels guilty (at all).
We had things before, when I was asking to stop the conflict that I can't bear it, discuss it later, do he perfectly knows why I walked off.. I don't want to get back into my depression. It wasn't a fit or a hysterics..
My friends and family are in different country, while my main income is our company. We have a young son. It won't be easy..

I'm just curious how did I end up in this situation. I was marrying the closest friend and best man in the world.. Things can change weirdly..