My husband left me walking 8 miles this night..

[Sunnyseal]

Our relationship was not amazing for the last couple of years (10 years relationship) My husband became emotionally colder, inattentive. But nothing major. I knew it's a very deep crisis we are in.. But..

We were in the unit we are renting for our little printing company. I asked him to do one thing for my university project that didn't turned out great (and I spoiled it further) and I was upset. We came there with my hope to fix it, but it didn't work out, which meant more time and materials to make second version of it. I was upset (I am also very sick now, with ear infection and sinusitis, doing quite demanding masters and drained by exams, he knows all of this). He wasn't getting it. Asked to drive me home, instead of going shopping, very calmly. He stepped back inside, crossing hands demanding explanations and obviously provoking a conflict as I told that wished he put more effort into thing that is important to me..

Our conflicts drain me a lot lately.. I fight depression, have a little bit better period now, and God knows how I want to stay at least this way.. And he also knows it too..

I wanted to chill a bit, and walked out from the court, in direction of home.. Like 30 meters? A bit more? .. I knew he will close the unit, and will go, and I will just get inside when he will go past me over.. but he even didn't look at me and zoomed by me..

It's sounds awful but I don't really understand why you didn't stop somewhere and ask to borrow their charger or call a taxi?

If I went with my husband, sister, anyone to help her or him with a project, and he had a go at me telling me I wasn’t doing it right/putting enough effort in, and then walked out of the building, past our car, and out of the industrial estate, I’d leave them to it tbh.

You can’t leave someone like that. Even if you had an argument he should not have driven off.

If I went with my husband, sister, anyone to help her or him with a project, and he had a go at me telling me I wasn’t doing it right/putting enough effort in, and then walked out of the building, past our car, and out of the industrial estate, I’d leave them to it tbh.

That says more about you than them.

I must have missed the posts where people have criticised the op's written English.

It's a very sad and sorry event. Did your husband know your phone was out of battery? I've been married 25 years and have been beyond livid with my husband for days/weeks at a time, and him with me. I doubt there's a long relationship in existence where this isn't the case.

If you want to stay together then you need to find a better way of dealing with minor stresses before they blow up into big ones. Your husband was an arse (and you were a bit of an arse).

He was a knob for driving off home. He wasn't to know that OP's phone had died.

The OP does sound dramatic however. Having a go at her DH for not putting enough effort into her university project to the point of storming off is dramatic and it does very much snack of "come and grovel and chase me"/"I expect you to guess whether I want space, in which case I'll snap more", which I think it childishly manipulative.
However, the DH should have taken the moral high ground here, pulled over and made the offer calmly and refused to get into the sort of emotional guilt tripping that seems to happen when one party flounces.

You poor thing. That sounds absolutely horrific and terrifying.

Take no notice of the vile posts on here. Do post in Relationships in future.

Are you in the UK?

I'm so sorry this awful thing happened to you. I hope you get some good sleep and you're able to think more clearly about what you do going forward. For the meantime, you have your masters to finish (sounds like you're nearly there).

I'm so so sorry you went through that

It's sounds awful but I don't really understand why you didn't stop somewhere and ask to borrow their charger or call a taxi?

The OP did explain that she was at a -presumably deserted- industrial estate in the evening and that her route home lay along a dual carriageway and then through a forest. Flagging a car down on a dual carriageway to borrow their charger doesn't sound like a brilliant idea.

As for the texi, it is quite possible (hard to imagine on MN, I know) that OPs' finances don't run to an 8 mile taxi journey. And if she only had 3% charge on her phone she may not have been able to call one anyway: whenever I call a cab I always end up on a hold.

He was out of order to drive past you, but I'm afraid you started it. He was helping you, you got cross with him because it wasn't going right and then you walked out.
He wasn't to know your phone didn't have any charge left. Have you done this sort of thing before? Because he may well have had enough too. I'm afraid you're the one who put yourself in a tricky situation by walking off. You both need to sit down Andy decide what you want from each other, because this relationship isn't healthy.

Agree with MayorQuimby - who put it way more articulately than me!

Perhaps it didn’t occur to him that you would walked 8 miles home instead of getting a cab/ public transport after you stormed off.
Perhaps he just wasn’t in the mood to placate you by stopping to persuade you to get in the car?
This one might just need to be chalked down to having a really crappy day.

I think you need to call time on this relationship, you are not hood for each other, that was a very uncaring thing he did to someone he is supposed to care about and love

Being left to walk home 8 miles sounds horrible, especially in those conditions and being ill OP, it was a horrible thing for him to do. However, are you being a bit demanding of him and you've pushed him over the edge and he just thought he'd let you get on with it. If you were in a printing unit though why not use the phone to call a taxi if your phone died?

8 miles is a long way! Jfc of course you are not BU.
I had an ex who I had the most shocking rows with, even if he stormed out over something silly I'd never do that to him. Or anyone actually. You could have come to real harm.

Take this as a wake-up call OP. This man doesn't care about you and your relationship has become toxic and draining. It's time to call it a day.

Did he know your phone was flat? If not, in his mind, he didn't leave you to walk home, he left you to call yourself a cab, which is quite different.

I still think it was shitty of him though. I can understand the driving off if he was in a huff, but why didn't the care mechanism kick in? The one that tells you that even though you've fallen out, you still don't leave someone you love out in a cold dark gale at night when they're not well? And why didn't he start worrying when you didn't get home in the time it'd take if you had called a cab?
Your behaviour wasn't perfect either op, but that doesn't mean he just shouldn't care about you.

That is unforgivable. Okay he came to help you with a project but then drove past you even after you text him to say your phone was dying.
What a disgusting assehole. I can't get over people saying it was fine for him to leave you to walk 8 miles in the dark horrible weather especially as you were ill.
I'm surprised you didn't pack your (or his) bags when you got back.
You need to think what you want because clearly your partner doesn't care.

Sorry for all the cunt apologists on here op. I’m afraid your marriage sounds over, I can’t see it coming back after such a high level of contempt displayed by your dp. However you behaved it is NOT OK to have been treated as you were last night.

I hope you take this episode as an opportunity to step back, reassess and get the support you need

What do you want to do next? Can you leave?

It sounds like emotions are running high with your illness and uni etc (I’ve been there, so I sympathise) and I can forgive him being a bit frustrated but...

You do NOT just leave someone to walk 8 miles alone, in the dark, in the middle of this storm. I don’t care how much they’ve pissed you off. He is outrageous for doing that and to not even apologise for it?

That is unforgivable.

If you were in a printing unit though why not use the phone to call a taxi if your phone died?

Her husband had locked the unit and taken the keys.

God there's some people on here who need to learn to read.

'Don't have children with him'

'Why didn't you phone for a taxi?'

'Why didn't you borrow a charger?'

'Why didn't you get public transport'

Why don't people either read the Op's posts or at least think?

I wouldn't leave anyone like that, let alone my partner. I think it's over OP.

It sounds like she was printing maybe IDK a poster or her thesis or something and something got messed up and she needed his help. I didn't get the impression he was helping her with the work itself, just the presentation aspects of it

That was my impression, too.

It's sounds awful but I don't really understand why you didn't stop somewhere and ask to borrow their charger or call a taxi?

Stupid comment there. Plenty of industrial estates are in the middle of nowhere. OP even states that she had to walk 8 miles along a dual carriageway and past a lonely forested area. Where the fuck are all the phone chargers going to be?

Flagging down passing cars to ask to use a charger would be very risky, and would you seriously knock on the doors of any random (and isolated) houses along such a route, if there even are any obvious ones? Asking to come in and charge your phone?

Some people really don't understand what it is like if you don't live in a city.

It's not a stupid comment you don't know that she didn't pass a single service station. And why would you storm off if you have no battery? I think that's silly to put yourself in danger like that.