DP typically leaves house at 7am and returns at 8pm.

[Jaycee74]

I currently don’t work - all household management is left to me during the week. I get some help at weekend - but I have to ask. He generally cooks at the weekend. Do I have a right to feel pissed off?

Pissed off because he has to work long hours?

It depends really, are those his working hours, or does he do additional to avoid getting children ready and bedtimes if you have any?

I’m very open to being told I’m unreasonable.

Do you have DC and how old are they?

I wouldn't like to work those hours. Unless you're going to see he's at the gym or doing hobbies straight from work every eve. How soon until your DC are in school/have childcare so that you can work too?

I’d say he doesn’t clock watch. We have a young baby and he doesn’t do any night time support. He will give morning feed or prepare DD’s packed lunch / but only when asked.

Are you annoyed he's not home in time to help you put the DC to bed. Or to eat together as a family. I understand.

2 DC

If you don't have children, or your kids are all school age, you are definitely unreasonable. 11 hours a day is more than enough time to do all the "household management".

If you have young kids he should be chipping in at the weekend with child rearing and housework but you will probably be doing the lions share during g the week.

Are your DC school age or younger?

I used to leave at 8am and get home at 6pm (I work from home mostly now). On those hours I had a cleaner every 2 weeks and re-heated simple meals during the week.
Would you like him to do the washing, tidying and hoovering from 9pm til midnight?

Sorry I cross posted with you. If you have a baby he should be helping when he is home, but I would still expect to do most of the household stuff and cooking.

I don't know, I'm the same 2DC, he leaves at 6, back at 8, does nothing for baby overnight and I do all the school runs. I'm on mat leave but will be back to work full time soon and still be doing all the house stuff as he commutes. I'm not sure if that's reasonable or not?

Does he have to stay that late? Are those his hours or is he trying to avoid bedtime at home?

Ah, so you are on maternity leave. How many months before you go back? I'd suggest getting a cleaner in out of the family income pot at least once a week when you go back to work to lighten the load, so that you aren't spending all weekend on housework.

If you have a young baby then I think he needs to help more. At the very least he should be doing some of the night feeds at the weekend (or getting up with the baby in the morning if you are EBF). And some help with household stuff at the weekend.

What is his job?

Could you get a cleaner?

An awful lot of men hang around at work/in the pub after hours to avoid going home to the bosom of their families. Their employers mostly don't know, and certainly don't require it. I've worked with countless happy family men over the years who do this.

V similar gaffamate. I will go back part time quite soon, but still have the same responsibilities for the house.

If he's working those hours, he's not going to have a lot left in the tank when he gets home.

What's left to do at 8pm?

Is he working those hours or at the gym /pub? If at work then fair enough. My DH frequently works till 10/11 pm if he has a deadline. In his industry, at his level that’s the norm. I get home about 6, with kids, and just get on with things. At weekends we try and help each other and also give each other some ‘me’ time. You need to do whatever works best for your family

D

You shouldn't have the same amount of housework/life admin to do if you go back to work, tho.

I can’t quite put my finger on why ain’t feel so pissed off. At the weekend I had a moan about the bins. DP never puts bins out / or remembers which day the bin lorry comes. Why does this annoy me so much?