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Original poster

Why do I feel like this after sex?

243 replies

HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 16:11

I’ve been dating someone 2 months and on Friday night we did the deed. It was great.

Since then I’ve been obsessing over hearing from him and I don’t know what’s go into me!!!! (No pun intended Blush). I was pretty relaxed about things between us before this but now I am checking my phone all the time. We’d done lots of other stuff before this so sex wasn’t really all that different! Seen each other completely naked and been intimate before.

His messaging hasn’t change, sometimes he goes a day or so without being in contact, so there’s nothing actually different between us. But I am constantly thinking about when he will next be in touch and it’s driving me mad.

Any ideas why this is happening?! I don’t want to ruin something that could be good by being like this.

OP posts:
GoodJobSteve · 03/02/2020 16:25

Oxytocin, aka 'the bonding hormone', at a guess!

AnuvvaMuvva · 03/02/2020 17:18

Yes -- funnily enough, we're not wired to let any old penis deposit sperm into our vagina without our giving two shits about the person attached to it. I'm always surprised when people think we are.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 17:22

I’ve not been contacted at all today. Feeling shit.

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 03/02/2020 17:31

I think he should make more of an effort to contact after sex. I had this a while ago with someone I was seeing.

bangheadhere40 · 03/02/2020 17:32

Mine went very cold after DTD compared to contact before. Has it been longer than usual of no contact?

FluffyAragog · 03/02/2020 17:37

Have you contacted him and he's ignoring or are you waiting for him to message first?

NameChangeNugget · 03/02/2020 17:43

Why are you waiting him to message?

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 18:00

I’ve not contacted either. I feel like he doesn’t actually care at all.

OP posts:
UnaCorda · 03/02/2020 18:01

Mine went very cold after DTD compared to contact before.

Did things improve, or was that the beginning of the end?

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 18:07

It’s not been longer than usual as sometimes he doesn’t text for a day or so. But given we’ve had sex I guess I hoped to hear from him.

Maybe it’s silly as we’d done a lot in the bedroom before.

OP posts:
Whiterabbitears · 03/02/2020 18:14

I would be the same OP. I'm seeing someone new, it's only been two weeks and we are waiting to DTD and I know afterwards I'm going to be exactly the same. I guess it's because if you've waited a bit you hope it was special and that it might have cemented things a bit more? Apologies if that's not how you feel and I know not everyone thinks the same way. But yes I would want contact afterwards.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 18:15

That’s exactly how I feel! I had waited a little while too as we’d seen each other about 20 times over the two months, for about a day each date!

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 03/02/2020 18:15

It was the beginning of the end for mine

Mermaidwaves · 03/02/2020 18:21

I cant offer any advice just I do know how you feel. I wouldn't be expecting gushing tokens of love but yes he should be making you feel special as for me I feel a bit vulnerable after the first time. By contacting you he's reassuring you that all is OK.

user278654 · 03/02/2020 18:33

OP I think that you simply have to call him and invite him to spend some time with you and then you will find out what the issue is with the delay

After all he is maybe waiting for you to call!

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 18:40

I don’t want to contact him. He knew sex was a big deal for me. I’m mostly very disappointed as I thought this might have been something.

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 03/02/2020 18:49

I can't believe how many grown men seem to do this. It's making me lose faith in all of it.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 18:59

I can be quite cynical and I actually thought this one was pretty decent. Feel like giving up!

OP posts:
bangheadhere40 · 03/02/2020 19:02

He might message yet, but I had this and agree it's not very reassuring at all.

What's the answer? You said you had been on 20 dates? That's loads....

BettyAll1 · 03/02/2020 19:04

“After all he is maybe waiting for you to call!”

^ This

Men have anxieties and feelings too, maybe he’s sat at home feeling the same.

mamato3lads · 03/02/2020 19:05

I think because you've had sex you immediately feel more invested but to him, things may not have changed at all and everything is just as it was.

Yoire getting yourself worked up and ending the relationship in your head for no reason . Relax. Why dont YOU text him? Ever think he might feel the same as you?

WanderingLost167 · 03/02/2020 19:06

Did he message after he left or you did?

ihatethecold · 03/02/2020 19:12

Why on earth is it up to him to message though?
You’re an adult. He may be worrying you have gone off him. Take back some control and stop being a door mat.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 19:13

I haven’t text as I want to know if he’s not bothered. So far I seem to have my answer.

OP posts:
Despolime · 03/02/2020 19:16

It's a horrible feeling when your gut is telling you something and you don't want to believe it. In my experience, though, it's never wrong.