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Original poster

Why do I feel like this after sex?

243 replies

HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 16:11

I’ve been dating someone 2 months and on Friday night we did the deed. It was great.

Since then I’ve been obsessing over hearing from him and I don’t know what’s go into me!!!! (No pun intended Blush). I was pretty relaxed about things between us before this but now I am checking my phone all the time. We’d done lots of other stuff before this so sex wasn’t really all that different! Seen each other completely naked and been intimate before.

His messaging hasn’t change, sometimes he goes a day or so without being in contact, so there’s nothing actually different between us. But I am constantly thinking about when he will next be in touch and it’s driving me mad.

Any ideas why this is happening?! I don’t want to ruin something that could be good by being like this.

OP posts:
CakeandCustard28 · 03/02/2020 20:06

Maybe he’s busy? Or working late? Or asleep? You’re really over thinking this. It’s not healthy to be so obsessive.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:07

I have wondered if it was a bad idea for me to have sex @ittooshallpas . If he had messaged today then I would have been ok I think, i would have been ok texting tomorrow first for instance.

OP posts:
Ginplease29 · 03/02/2020 20:07

Try to occupy yourself and avoid checking your phone, he’ll probably text but I’d be annoyed too at such little contact. If you I’d get back in touch and everything seems fine, I’d try and talk to him about how you feel about more contact etc.

AnuvvaMuvva · 03/02/2020 20:07

What made you shag him this Saturday? Sex is a big deal for you, so what happened to make you feel you'd got to that stage this weekend?

thickwoollytights · 03/02/2020 20:08

You are SO adamant that you won't text him. I wonder how he feels as he hasn't heard from you? You are incredibly self absorbed and rather selfish imo

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:09

I probably do need to talk to him about it if it ever gets to that. Which isn’t looking likely right now!

OP posts:
Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:10

@annuva I’m nit sure, it had been heading that way since before Christmas and I felt like we were closer. I wish I hadn’t now although was glad we did at the time.

OP posts:
Member869894 · 03/02/2020 20:10

this is so depressing. We're not in the 1950s. Text him and tell him how you are feeling.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:12

Tell him I feel upset and hurt that I’ve not heard from him?!

He’s been online most of the night. I think maybe this one isn’t the right one after all. Obviously I don’t expect a mind reader but he’s not even acknowledged my day at work that we’d chatted about on Saturday.

OP posts:
ukgift2016 · 03/02/2020 20:12

I dated a guy who after each date would put an extra kiss at the end of our text messages. The day after we had sex, no extra kiss. That hit me in the gut.

Some men when they have sex, just lose all interest. The best way to phase these men out is to wait for sex and to trust your gut. If something feels amiss, listen.

If he is interested he will text you. However, if you don't want be waiting around for a text, it may be good to text just to gauge his reaction then you can just move on.

Bitofnamechanging · 03/02/2020 20:13

OP, I worry that you're putting too much thought into this. Him not texting you is normal behaviour for him. He also text you after yesterday so maybe doesnt feel the need. It feels like you've moved the goal posts without telling him. He isn't a mind reader

Bigearringsbigsmile · 03/02/2020 20:13

Christ alive.
I am so glad I settled down before mobile phones were a thing.

How do you think people established relationships before texting??

I really think the constant instant communication has made everything 10 times harder and more complicated.

thickwoollytights · 03/02/2020 20:15

He’s been online most of the night.

And so have you if you can see him online. Jeeeezus. The poor guy. He doesn't stand a chance

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:16

Big earrings I agree! But sadly that is how we communicate.

I hate this and feel totally shit that he could be so intimate with me then not even message. Maybe I sound dramatic but it’s how I feel. I just feel used. I’m ok for sex but when I’ve left the flat then nothing.

OP posts:
BigPinkFlower · 03/02/2020 20:16

Just send him a bloody message

This isn't 1888, take the lead

Eckhart · 03/02/2020 20:17

Does he have ANY idea you're feeling like this? The fact that you can't tell him bodes doom for this relationship. And that's not his fault.

He hasn't given you what you want, but you haven't told him what you want. He's not the bad guy just because he hasn't met your requirement. Why won't you consider telling him how you feel?

MadgeMak · 03/02/2020 20:18

He has texted you since you had sex though. You've also said it's not unusual for him to go a day without texting. Not seeing the problem myself.

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:18

I would consider that but I’m not sure what it would achieve? I would rather he behaved how he naturally felt inclined to rather than have me impose some sort of standard that I expect. I don’t think that would bode well?

OP posts:
thickwoollytights · 03/02/2020 20:19

Maybe I sound dramatic

Ya think?

You sound like a Princess who isn't in the market for an adult relationship imo

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:19

The problem is it is so close to Saturday. If he’d text today I would have initiated tomorrow.

OP posts:
Cohle · 03/02/2020 20:20

So you spoke by text yesterday, you have plans to meet up and going a day without texting is perfectly normal for the two of you?

I think you're overthinking this. Or at least expecting him to psychically realise that you want him to text more now that you've had sex.

MadgeMak · 03/02/2020 20:20

You said he texted you in Saturday after you'd left his place. He has been in touch.

FaceForRadio1973 · 03/02/2020 20:21

Let me put this from the penis point of view:

"Well, I've been seeing this girl for two months, and I really like her.... Well, Friday night, we slept together for the first time, and she's not been in touch since.... I must have been really crap, or let her down. I'm gutted"

I know it's unbelievable, but men do have feelings, and they aren't just hungry or horny...

Eckhart · 03/02/2020 20:21

I’m ok for sex but when I’ve left the flat then nothing.

But you said you've set another date on Thursday, at his instigation? What do you want, him hanging onto you by your ankle all day?

Original poster
HelloLollypop · 03/02/2020 20:21

I don’t want more texts now weve had sex, I’d just like him to contact me a couple of days after the first time we have done it.

I also text first yesterday after I left at lunchtime. He responded but it was me that messaged him something nice first.

OP posts:
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