Why do I feel like this after sex?

[HelloLollypop]

I’ve been dating someone 2 months and on Friday night we did the deed. It was great.

Since then I’ve been obsessing over hearing from him and I don’t know what’s go into me!!!! (No pun intended ). I was pretty relaxed about things between us before this but now I am checking my phone all the time. We’d done lots of other stuff before this so sex wasn’t really all that different! Seen each other completely naked and been intimate before.

His messaging hasn’t change, sometimes he goes a day or so without being in contact, so there’s nothing actually different between us. But I am constantly thinking about when he will next be in touch and it’s driving me mad.

Any ideas why this is happening?! I don’t want to ruin something that could be good by being like this.

Its horrible because my gut was saying how right it was right afterwards...he was keen to suggest the next date and we had a good time.

For him to not text me all day...it sounds like I’m being clingy but it’s not that. I just want to know he’s actually thought about me today!!!

I’ve not contacted either. I feel like he doesn’t actually care at all.

Erm. So he could say the very same thing since you haven’t contacted him either! Or are you a traditionalist who thinks the man holds the power?

I can empathise op, i hope he messages you soon.

Maybe before you go to bed you could send him a message, something along the lines of 'i hope that you enjoyed last night, sleep well.'

Sorry this happened on Saturday night (think I’d put Friday!). We messaged a bit when I got home last night but nothing today.

Have you arranged when to meet next?

Yes we had done (supposed to be Thursday).

Thing is I don’t feel ok having sex if he can go days without contacting me. I don’t expect a big chat! Just a message.

So it sounds like you’re having a Mexican stand off with him. You’re upset that he hasn’t contacted you but you won’t contact him. You could both be waiting for weeks for the other to make contact. Just text him and put yourself out of misery. He’ll probably be glad to hear from you.

He knew that the physical side was important to me.

Maybe this is his way of saying he’s got what he wanted. I don’t want to text.

If you spoke last night, it’s only today he hasn’t contacted you?

Sometimes men worry about their performance/whether they satisfied you...maybe he is just thinking same as you or maybe he just thinks the next date has been planned so all is cool ...

Over analysing just creates misery when men are usually pretty simple creatures unlike us

Hmm I don’t think he has any insecurity about his performance.

Yes it’s only today. We had sex Saturday night and messaged a little yesterday afternoon (I stayed over).

You've just said you were messaging each other when you got home last night. How was the tone of those texts ? Had you come home straight from his place ?

Sorry cross posted there

Yes case home straight from his around lunchtime. We had two texts late afternoon but he knew I was out with a friend in the evening.

I expected to hear from him today though. Can’t believe how shit it has made me feel.

*came home

Has he not been at work?

He isn't waiting for you to text him. He's really not. He's holding the cards now and both of you know it.

He's relaxed now, able to think about whether he wants to see you again. He can think clearly and objectively now.

In contrast, you're pretty much how he was before Saturday! Uncertain how much he likes you, on the back foot, analysing, etc.

Don't text. Appear nonchalant. Act like you would've acted before you had sex. On some level, he's waiting to see if you're going to go "psycho" (ie, keen, committed, invested) on him.

If you don't do anything today, he'll text you tomorrow like everything is fine.

I hate this part of dating. I understand why you're upset.

Yes but he’s been online and managed to contact me many times during the day in the past.

Don't text. He knew that having sex with him was a very intimate thing for you. Not contacting you now is very cruel.

annuva but if he texts tomorrow for me the damage is done. Has it got a future if he can have sex and then have me totally out of mind when I’m out of sight two days later?

I won’t text. Just not sure what I will do if he pops up with a text tomorrow.

I thought he was a really decent guy.

Perhaps he had a busy day at work and hasn't had time? Perhaps he doesn't want to come over as too needy? Perhaps he had time during the day the other times,who knows?

Maybe...

Maybe you're focusing too much on the physical side.
I use to in my twenties.

What about the rest of the time.
Is he someone you could settle down with?

Or are you still getting to figure it out.

Maybe just relax and go with it.

Yes some men disappear after they've got what they wanted - but you can usually tell that from genuine interest.

Why is he cruel for not texting, but the OP is fine to not text him? This makes no sense to me. Why does he have to text first?