What to make of this comment?

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Hi guys just after some casual advice
I've been in two mentally and physically abusive relationships over the past 10 years, and now I'm currently in a new one and all seems to be good. He is twice my age but that doesn't matter as he is sweet loving caring and behaves in the same manner as me
However for two days now he has made the comment of "I wouldn't want you to get bigger than you already are" (I'm a size 12 and have been for years only been smaller in my teens)
Is this a dig at my size? I'm unsure of how I'm supposed to feel about this comment
Any advice would be great x

I ended a relationship with someone for saying something similar.

If I had nothing except you in my life, I’d be trying to make sure you felt happy and secure. Why isn’t he doing that?

Wow. So this guy is not a nice guy at all. He’s left his wife and kids; he’s getting an ego stroke from a woman half his age; he’s told you that you’re at the biggest size he’d like you to be at; he’s a proven cheat - so I guess if you get to a size 14 as you age, you’ll know what he’ll be doing.

The guy is a sleaze ball. Not to mention in ten years, you’ll still be a young lady and he’ll be older again, in his mid 60’s? Then in your forties (which I am just going into feeling young and free) he’ll be an old man. What will your life be like?

You’ve made a terrible mistake falling for a man like this. So far all you’ve seen is a facade. His family know the real him, not you. If it were me, I’d start running now. At 26, you can find someone without baggage and who you can grow old with and share plenty of memories with.

Ugh, he's left his family So I guess you have what you wanted?

Perhaps his wife had reached a size 14

Be careful you don't

Yes of course it's controlling

You didn’t make him leave his family so don’t carry that guilt. He’s an adult and he made a choice and that does not leave you indebted to him.

That comment is wrong In so many ways. Who cares if he wouldn’t want you to get bigger than a size 12. You are not there to physically please him. He can go fuck himself.

Get out please. No man who respected you would say that.

How old is he?

I'd have to agree with the others. Your weight is an issue for him. Did you have an affair?

It would seem your appearance is very important to him. I'd really wonder about his motivations if you're also very much younger.

He's 52

Grim

i would LTB, hes saying your already on the big side so dont go getting any bigger -_-

He sounds Lovely...

I get having a type, im also not into bigger people BUT i wouldnt say anything and especially more than once plus it sounds like he is already thinking your at max size.

DBML is right 100%.

He probably doesn’t want people saying ‘you left your wife for...her’.

He wants them to say
‘You go Mike! What a stud you must be’.

He also wants to make you feel shit enough about yourself to think no one else would want you.

That's blatantly telling you what is most important to him.
I'd feel like shit if someone said that to me.
Op, leave now, end it. He's disgusting.

He's 52?

God op. He wants a trophy. You've made a mistake.

Ask him what he would do if you went up a size/two sizes.

Get rid. He can rebuild the life he shattered himself.

Oh, and for future reference, married men who leave their families for younger women aren’t a great catch for someone looking for a non abusive relationship. They are creeps who are looking to cast off what makes them feel like they’re ageing.

@saraclara

I bet she already knows. She’s got first hand experience of it.

Have you thought about the future? You'd only be mid forties with a seventy year old man, you could even become his carer. Is this what you want?

A man who leaves his wife for a woman half his age, then starts digging about how she needs to look is telling uou everything you need to know.

Another thought- could he be warning you not to expect children with him?

Don't stay because he left his wife. He made that choice, not you. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to leave.
Loads of red flags in your post 🚩 🚩
You need to run. His love is conditional on something that you might not be able to control in future eg pregnancy and
medication side effects

As he's said it more than once I think he's saying that he'd prefer you smaller when you sound fine.

Slow hand clap for the poster dwelling on being fat at size 12. The point is that way....

He sounds horrible. Men who obsess over their partners weight are rarely kind and laid back. They're easy going until you piss them off.

Tell him if he gets any more wrinkles you're outta there

Only having you in his life is a massive red flag and I suspect this means that his control will ramp up as soon as his house purchase goes through and time goes on

So he's found himself a pretty young thing who's easily controlled because all she's ever known are abusive relationships.

This is another one.

Have you done the Freedom Programme?

Get out now. He made his choices (as did you) but you made your choice on the fact he hid his true nature from you. What he's said changes things. Don't stay out of guilt or obligation. He's changed this.

When someone tells you who they are, listen and believe them.

You have been in two abusive relationships. Have you had any therapy? Abuse leaves you fragile and strips away at your self-esteem. You absolutely need to spend some time on your own, working on yourself and learning about what a healthy relationship looks like. Clearly, you have NO idea.

End this nonsense you are in with this old loser who has abandoned his family and is making dodgy financial decisions. Raise your standards and get some self-respect.

I'm afraid you've found another abuser.
He's made you feel responsible for him so you won't leave him and now he's starting to damage your self esteem so you will be even less likely to leave him.

What else has he said and done that has made you feel a bit worried?