Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

Stop cooking for him!
Let the moaning faced bastard feed himself!

Christ sounds worse than a fussy toddler.

LTB

He needs to cook, unless that would limit you too much if he doesn’t have a very well developed palate. Your food sounds amazing.

Eating separately sometimes would save your sanity - we do this half the time as DP isn’t keen on several of my favourite dishes and I am not prepared to limit what I eat to please him.

Honestly this set up would do my head in after a very short amount of time. How long have you been together?

Definitely never cook for him again.

Is he as rude in other areas?

Only stay if he sorts his own food out and he has many other redeeming qualities.

But I'm not sure it's worth it.

I don't think this is a trivial issue at all. It would drive me absolutely mad. My dh eats whatever I stick on a plate for him. If I was you, I'd just stop cooking for him. Cook for yourself and any dc if you have them...let him sort himself out.

Christ almighty! Just leave him to it, life is too short to be putting up with this shite

I seriously couldn't cope with this.

The only solution is to cook (and possibly eat) separately

Mine is very,very fussy but he would never criticize my cooking because he would be wearing it if he did so!

Just don't make him any meals. Ever

LTB if you want, but just not cooking for him again is probably easier. Cook your own and let him sort himself out. I am a ridiculously fussy eater myself, but I just do my own thing, and certainly don’t complain to others. I agree that complaining about others cooking is a fast track to wearing it, lol

Why are you still cooking for him?

He’s an obvious arse but why are you rewarding his behaviour by continually handing him his chosen stick to beat you with.

Tell him that you don't want to hear one more complaint from him as he is making your life miserable with his constant complaints. Make it clear that you mean this very seriously and his permanent negativity is putting your entire relationship at risk.
Cook what you like, as the meal seems to make no difference?
Make sure he cooks too.
If he can't stop complaining, he'll need to find someone else who's OK with it.

I would have give up cooking for him ages ago never mind fannying about trying to find something he would like. Just cook for yourself frim now in. Your fighting a losing battle with him

I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now
Stop cooking for him, as of right now.
Do your own dinner. What ever you enjoy and like and make sure there is not enough for him.
He understands that he either stops with the criticising.
You don't want to hear about all his moans about food.
You need to put a stop to it.
As soon as he starts saying something, tell him you don't want to hear it.
YOU cooked it and you enjoyed it and it doesn't matter to you what he thinks as nothing is ever good enough so just stop saying stuff.
Cut him off every single time.
If that does work then dump him.
Can you imagine how fussy your kids will be growing up with this?
I am fussy but I'll give most things a go and if someone has cooked for me I certainly wouldn't be telling how rubbish it was!

Prepare your own meals. If this means you eat a home-cooked dinner whilst he heats up a can of soup, so be it. Don’t make this the hill you die on. As long as you eat together and share the mealtime that way, it’s fine.

I’m fussy, or rather, I am fickle about what I eat and when. Boyfriend and I sort ourselves out. It’s not an issue.

I agree with everyone else. Don't cook for him.

My boyfriend is pretty much exactly the same, his sister is even worse so it’s obviously how he has been brought up! It’s the one thing I cannot stand about him, his unwillingness to try anything different as ‘he doesn’t like it’
I have put my food down as I refuse to eat like a toddler all the time. If you find a solution please pass it my way!

Is he like this in any other areas?

He needs to put up or shut up about the cooking (I know how demotivating it is when someone moans about the meal you have provided) but I wonder if this is the only area in which he does this kind of nitpicking?

If yes, then just reach an agreement that either you don't cook for him or he learns not to bloody complain about it.

If no ... then I'm afraid it's a LTB from me. Someone who nitpicks and criticizes you constantly is a soul-killer to live with.

Stop cooking for him. Dont go out to restaurants with him ... go with people who will enjoy it.

Does he have mental health issues ?

Christ on a bike! Has he ever actually enjoyed a meal??

I agree with the others - leave him to fend for himself and explain why.

Another one saying just stop cooking for him. Let him cook for himself. I wouldn't tolerate that.

@OccasionalNachos we have been together only 18 months so early days but definitely a problem I would like to nip in the bud now.

@Nanny0gg Is he as rude in other areas...I can find him to be not very tactful in general with anyone.

I like the ideas of eating separately because he really is limiting what I’m now eating. I love cooking Thai and Malaysian food and even that’s off the menu because of his incessant whinging.

“ As long as you eat together and share the mealtime that way, it’s fine.”

Not if he is sitting there complaining about whatever he has cooked too, or moaning in restaurants. No one wants to have to listen to that

Life is much, much easier when, as an adult, you associate with other adults and you learn not to dick pander just to be in a relationship. People will soon come on here and tell you how you need to make this your problem because he has a mental health condition, autism, sensory processing disorder, misophonia and you need to 'get him to the GP' blah blah blah.

He's a food fusspot with the tastebuds of a toddler.

At the very least, never cook for him again, don't go to restaurants with him if he's going to sabotage the experience.

But ask yourself, is this how you want to live the rest of your life? Imagine with kids, having to juggle 2+ separate meals, the kids wondering why Dad eats like a gerbil, turning down invitations to certain places because Mr Bland doesn't like it, etc.