Fussy partner with food!

[MellowMelly]

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB

'They don't get half the praise they deserve.'

They can also be pretty shit though, to be fair. Twice I've had to report rape/sexual assault, and they were really nasty to me. It was another layer of trauma.

Glad you had a good experience OP.

Well done with everything you're doing. Maybe you could post pics of your scrumptious meals sometimes?

Wow, OP. I'm so proud of you. Cheers to your new future!

Very very glad to see you in great spirit OP- been watching the thread. It’s a great resource for someone to see the support and realisation process you’ve been through, and what you thought was ‘trivial’ at the start. It’s a journey the will be incredibly useful to see

Every time I go into my bathroom I look at the loo and think about how that monstrosity of a man made you use the loo and put the seat back UP for him

What kind of savage DOES that? It’s closed down for hygiene, appearance and feng fucking shui for the love of god!

He’s an ANIMAL I tell you!

I am sooooooo proud of you lovely! Enjoy your super meal... now if it were Pad Thai... I’d be leaping into the car immediately!

You go girl!!

The police in your case have been absolutely spot on in this. Awesome!

You are awesome

How have the last few days been?

You are an inspiration! Go and enjoy your wonderful new life xxx

Have an excellent weekend OP! I am still picturing your ex chittering away over his sad Subway.

It was so interesting (and heartbreaking) how MellowMelly was first tentatively asking if this was trivial. It went from being fussy about food to total control and abusive behaviour. As someone else said more red flags than North Korea!

I am willing to bet if MellowMelly or someone in a similar position had stood back and imagined a friend asking the same they would have said "For Fuck's sake get out of there!!!!"

Hope you managed to thank the police. They were a great help!

Sounds just like my 5 year old LTB

My DH is fussy too and it is annoying and upsetting. I am just thinking of batch cooking meals I like and meals he likes so we can eat separate food from the freezer or cook one meal for DH and kids while I heat up an adult meal.
My DH isnt quite as rude as yours about it but always likes to say "if we had this again we could change X" which is really annoying. Ive told him I dont like it but I can still see him pushing food around and trying to hide the vegetables!

Omg sorry, just rtft! Ignore me.

Bloodyhell OP. You are a serious superstar

Do you know what, my DD is young, very young, but we have conversations about what is right & wrong about relationships & this thread has made me glad I do,

I am determined to bring her up to know she can be happy and safe, and to hopefully confide in me.

I have been where you are, I really have. It was the worst years of my life, wish I grew up knowing I was worth more.

I have been single since the day he left. Ironic that he left. I tried to leave I really did.

Your poem made me weĺl up.

I wish you a very happy future.

You deserve it

@decktheantlers, she did LTB

Do not cook for him!!!!! Just leave him to his own devices and sort yourself out.

This:

He’s an obvious arse but why are you rewarding his behaviour by continually handing him his chosen stick to beat you with.

You are amazing and an inspiration OP!

Mind you, cant believe MNs cock up. OR the people commenting on page 20! without RTFT!!

Police have done you well. Good. But they had your email evidence and of course, stupid narc that he is, lost his shit in front of them.

I suspect your NC isnt as robust as it needs to be. You are in great danger of a Hoover. So its;

Block everywhere and and all platforms
Set rule on email to send it to junk.
Change all phone numbers. A pain but it will help.

Then the fun part. Purge and Exorcism!

There will be Everpresence in your house. Remove anything and everything that reminds you of him.

Rearranging furniture is a good idea

I'm guessing he doesnt have keys to your property?

But very well done indeed!

Check out narcsite.com, Tudor will help. As will other Empaths on the board.

Oh I'm glad
Congratulations OP. I will continue to experiment with my 5 year old so she doesn't grow up to be your EX

Pad Kra Pao...... yum-yum-yummy

THIS must be one of THE most uplifting threads on MN !!!

OP - Been there and done that.

I now opt for a feed the majority and he can or cannot eat it. For years I stopped cooking chilli and bolognaise which I see on here always as meals to freeze etc and I love chilli in particular. I now cook what I please and sometimes he eats it, sometimes he modifies it (kills it with industrial quantities of chillis) or orders takeaways and I give zero shits. He also will like something new but then claim he doesn’t down the line. He cooks twice a week (though today has asked why on earth he should cook on his day off - I didn’t deign to answer).

My honest advice is LTB but failing that, just give no shits and cook what you like.

I’ve also seen you’ve been together 18 months, I am 15 YEARS in and whilst better is basically still the same and even if I made something totally amazing he would still say it was just ok.

Hope you are fine today @MellowMelly

Why cant people RTFT...its not like it's on page 2 fgs

I KNOW Lefkosia!

Well done, OP!

Ps pad kra pao is the best. You may have inspired me to make some very soon.