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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Fussy partner with food!

521 replies

MellowMelly · 24/01/2020 11:44

This will probably sound completely trivial but it’s seriously causing issues.
My partner is ridiculously fussy with food. The main bone of contention is dinner. He is never happy no matter what I serve up and I’m finding cooking now to be an utter chore rather than enjoyable and I’m so limited to what I can cook for him now it’s become ridiculous.
I’m fed up of serving up food and watching as he pushes his food around the plate whilst actually pulling faces and then starts critiquing it either during the meal or after. Apparently the chicken the other night was chewy and inedible (he made sure I knew this by making it obvious that he was struggling to cut it, I however had no problems) the hake I cooked was watery and had no taste (it had a lemon and dill sauce on it), the pizza was definitely not hot enough so therefore not cooked properly and might make him ill, he is ‘minced out’ from Bolognaise, he won’t eat lamb now as some minted lamb shanks have put him off it. He won’t eat anything with rice/pasta, anything covered in breadcrumbs, anything too ‘herby’.

It doesn’t stop at my door with his criticism, his Mother and the takeaways/restaurants get it too. The sauce was too thick, there was not enough chicken in the kebab, the chips were soggy, the battered cod was too greasy...it’s endless.

We tried HelloFresh. Out of the hundred recipes only 3 made it into the acceptable pile.

I’ve told my partner to cook dinner if I’m so terrible at cooking, the few occasions that he has, well, he criticised his own cooking too Hmm

Suggestions? I will even accept LTB Grin

OP posts:
TheHagOnTheHill · 02/02/2020 10:20

Just read your thread OP.
So glad you're out and I hope he stays away.
Enjoy your freedom.

madcatladyforever · 02/02/2020 10:28

My first husband told mwe my cooking was shit everyday of our 8 year marriage OP, this led to me being battered regularly after around three years together.
You have had a lucky escape because I can assure you this is what would have happened.
After number 2 was crap also but not violent I no longer trust myself to choose a partner and have decided to stay single.

MellowMelly · 02/02/2020 13:25

Well I’m doing ok!! Obviously low moments but mainly moments of bliss. Simple things like taking the dog for a walk is amazing.

I’m ploughing my way through self help books and my first counselling session starts next week. Cooking has become a breath of fresh air again as I’m no longer worrying about it!
Amazing that just 18 months of a relationship had managed to steal so many pleasures from my life and I can’t wait to get it all back!

OP posts:
marriedwithhounds · 02/02/2020 14:01

Good for you, OP! You've done the right thing. Enjoy your freedom 🙌🏻

Wereallsquare · 02/02/2020 15:10

Big hugs, MellowMelly. The counselling will be so helpful. You are doing all the right things. Flowers

blondiebrowneyes · 02/02/2020 15:11

Seriously I would just cook for yourself and leave him to it.

blondiebrowneyes · 02/02/2020 15:12

Oh blimey, that escalated...apologies for not reading the full thread!

jamjarglow · 07/02/2020 08:28

You are an absolute inspiration OP, I hope you’re doing well

MellowMelly · 12/02/2020 09:02

So I wanted to share this with you all because I felt like I needed to somehow give something back.
I realised that some people fleeing domestic abuse might have issues with pets. I was lucky as my daughter was able to take my dog briefly with her which led me to wonder about what happens to people that want to take their pets to safety with them but in some cases the pets are unable to be with them, say for instance in a hostel situation.
So I contacted a local animal charity that are involved in this process and I’m so pleased to say that I will be able to help by temporarily fostering pets until they can be reunited with their loving owners again!

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 12/02/2020 09:34

Oh wow that's great OP, what a wonderful thing to do! Smile

hottielottie · 12/02/2020 10:06

@MellowMelly

What a lovely update 💖💖💖

hellsbellsmelons · 12/02/2020 12:23

Wow - that's a great thing to do.
What a fab update.
Hope you are doing OK and eating lots of lovely scrummy food!

Peignoir · 12/02/2020 12:27

Two options on the menu.

Take it or leave it. I'm not a chef and I refuse to spend hours in the kitchen.

What a little runt. How dare he complain about your food while he's entertaining his own antics. Good riddance! Well done for getting him out of your life. He doesn't deserve you. Pleasure yourself and do the things which used to make you laugh and smile. Don't allow him to steal your joy.

mbosnz · 12/02/2020 12:30

Good on you MellowMelly!

TwentyViginti · 12/02/2020 12:32

How wonderful! I applaud you, MellowMelly

AnneKipanki · 13/02/2020 07:36

You are a very sweet lady @MellowMelly .

3rdNamechange · 13/02/2020 20:49

@blondiebrowneyes. It turned into a bit more than that you'd need to RTFT

@mellowmelly fantastic news Thanks

CousinKrispy · 13/02/2020 21:33

That's wonderful, OP. What a lovely thing to do.

violetbunny · 14/02/2020 06:02

Good on you OP. That's a lovely thing to do Smile

Mumdiva99 · 14/02/2020 06:10

I just wondered how a grown man not eating went to 20 pages....I haven't yet read the full thread. But won't be leaving my food related comment. I get the feeling this is MN support at its best. Good luck OP.

madmumofteens · 14/02/2020 09:04

Fab update OP 🥰

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