My Boyfriend is angry I'm going on holiday without him

[Emilysr194]

My boyfriend is a pretty jealous and possessive person, he doesn't like men talking to me. I'm going away for 2 weeks to see my best friend (Female) who is away travelling. My gay best friend (Male) is going with me. Any time i mention the holiday he gets mad, refuses to talk about it, told me i am using all my holiday so i can't go away with him. I invited him along but he couldn't afford it.
Am I the bad guy here or is he being overly jealous? And what do I do?

tell him "look, its barely been six months. Youve moved yourself in and youre already telling me what I can and cant do and guilt tripping me about my holiday of a lifetime. I think this is clearly not making either of us happy anymore and I want you to move out"

This with bells on

anyone who tells you who you can and can't speak to in the way you describe should not be in your life.

Don't waste your time showing him articles. He is who he is. He's not suddenly going to say "Oh you're right, my attitude is us completely wrong. Go to New Zealand with my blessing and feel free to talk to anyone you like, male or female!" , is he?

I'd rather be single for 10 lifetimes than be with a man like that.

i do have anxiety but there are many external factors

You might be pleasantly surprised by how much relief you feel one you are no longer being abused by someone who claims to love you.

You can’t fix him. You can’t.

Tell him to leave this weekend. Youre done.

And have some counselling before dating again.

I'm about to fly out Monday for 2 weeks, was supposed to go away with my boyfriend but in the end he couldn't go due to scheduled and money.

My boyfriend has set aside all his plans this week to spend time with me before I go, offered me advice on the area I'm going to as he's been before, helped me book flights etc., arranged a beautiful dinner last night as it was the last night I would see him before the holiday and is also taking my two Guinea Pigs for the duration!!!!

Your boyfriend is being a controlling, jealous arsehole who does not value your happiness and wellbeing.

He has no right to tell you what you can and cannot do, and no right to be angry with you when (in his eyes) you don't do as you are told.

He is not the boss of you.

Tell him to sling his hook and move out. Preferably before your holiday.

Sorry you are going through this OP. Kick him out ASAP, before your holiday, and if you need to start advertising for a different lodger. Then block his number and head off to NZ for an amazing time with your friends. You deserve better than this.

I had a boyfriend like this when I was 19, it took me a while to work it out but I dumped him. He drive me nuts telling me what i could wear and where I could go and with who .. fuck that .. tell him to pack
It in or its over although he won't change .

freedom programme for you me thinks and then dump the arse

OP, please, please listen to the people sharing their experiences with you. There are good, solid, kind, secure men out there who will lift you up, be by your side encouraging you through life and help you to be the very best, most confident, happy version of yourself possible.

I'm not suggesting for one minute that you leap into another relationship - far from it - I'm just trying to drive it home to you that right now, you're not with one of those men. The man you're with doesn't want you to be your best self. He wants you to do as he says and he'll sulk and belittle you until he gets his way.

What a man.

Leave now, while it's easy to do so.

I'm so upset - he knows I'd love to go with them but can't afford it. I was hoping he'd go away with me later in the year when I've managed to save up a bit but now he won't be able to. I am not his priority am I? sad

Did you miss the part where ok said she's actually paid for a holiday for him for his birthday?! So not only was she going to go in hol with him later/too but she's paid for his half!

Read the thread before you spout about how it would be in reverse.

Even if she hadn't if course it still wouldn't change him being jealous and possessive, and trying to stop her going on this long awaited, expensive, lovely trip.

Lots of people have some odd stuff going on with entitlement and control. They are by no means all men.

Um ... so what?
OP isn't living with lots of people.
She's living with Mr Possessive ... although I hope she soon isn't.

Well got home and asked to speak. He broke up with me.. told me I was a hypocrite, that lots of people had told him to break up with me but he said he actually liked me. Played all the cards I thought he might have after reading those articles. So now I'm trying my very best to not believe what he has made up about me and be strong for myself and not crawl into this new self doubt that it's all my fault. Apparently you shouldn't go against what they think is wrong for you to do like go on holiday. Apparently I didn't discuss it. I must have been dreaming..

I'm in the minority. I get why he's upset.
I like to be different 😂 seriously though, if you were posting that your boyfriend was buggering off for 2 weeks he'd still be called controlling/prick etc etc

RESULT

He's done your dirty work for you. Now go complete no contact, don't engage any further with this tool and look forward to a fantastic holiday

Lucky you, he’s saved you the bother! Enjoy your holiday.

OMG.. OP.. let him pack and get the keys BACK

Hope he’s left your house and given you back your keys?

Has he actually gone? As this sounds like another attempt to get you to cancel

I hope in his huff he's managing to pack.

And please block him because I can predict him giving you a second chance if you promise to toe the line.

It's not your fault.
Good result though, I hope he stays gone!

he broke up with you, but has he left?!

he liveswith you i cant imagine he just disappeared?

good riddence though,no loss with this one.

raise your standards OP