My Boyfriend is angry I'm going on holiday without him

[Emilysr194]

My boyfriend is a pretty jealous and possessive person, he doesn't like men talking to me. I'm going away for 2 weeks to see my best friend (Female) who is away travelling. My gay best friend (Male) is going with me. Any time i mention the holiday he gets mad, refuses to talk about it, told me i am using all my holiday so i can't go away with him. I invited him along but he couldn't afford it.
Am I the bad guy here or is he being overly jealous? And what do I do?

I bet he'll be expecting you to beg and then he'll be prepared to give you a second chance.
Stay strong op. Let him pack his bags and leave. He's abusive.

imagine the FREEDOM you will have OP... wonderful beautiful freedom

I bet he'll be expecting you to beg and then he'll be prepared to give you a second chance.

Yep, I think this is either a power play - to get you to run after him and do what he wants/be under his thumb ...

Or, he's realised he's not going to able to control you. You're thinking too much, you're "too" independent, you have friends, you're not isolated, you're not malleable and manipulable enough. He knew when you started finding the stuff on abusers, controllers, coercion etc that you were on to him and he is t going to be able to break you, did lack of a nicer way if putting it.

Oh God OP, what a lucky escape. Get your keys back and block him. He will expect you to beg for him back, please don't. You will be so much happier without him.

As for his family yeah - blah blah blah. How do you know what he's told them about you - they get his story.
And that's presuming they're even half way reasonable : to have produced a son like him, you have to doubt that.

People like this always pull these lines too - you're always the problem and they're always right, and "everyone else" thinks they're right; everyone else usually being people they know much better than you and with whom it would be difficult for you to have an fully open conversation with the slightest criticism of him, conveniently.

I think he'll be back, but seriously op this is an escape for you.

I was in a relationship with a controlling jealous man and I lost count of how many times he finished with me (but didnt follow through) .... They feel utter aggrieved that you're not doing what they you; you're "taking the piss out of" them and mistreating them, just be doing the things people do in normal, healthy relationships - like drinks with friends, girls nights out, breaks away/hols with friends. They never change and they never stop.

You dodged a bullet there mate, although guarantee he will offer to " give you another chance"
You deserve that holiday. You saved for that. It will be brilliant. If he gave a fuck about you, he would not try and stop you

*They feel utterly aggrieved that you're not doing what they tell you

Is there anything in his name for the holiday you paid for him for his birthday or can you go with someone else?

Tbh if my husband went away with out me I'd be mortified cause i would wanna go.

Couple of things
Have u got kids and leaving him with kids.
How long have you been together - if not long then ye hes been silly.
Are you taking him away this year as he will need a break aswel? X

Missarad, have you read the thread?
They've been together under 6 months.
The holiday was booked before he was on the scene
She bought him a holiday
He has dumped her for being selfish/unreasonable

Emily you are well rid. Start planning your wonderful holiday!

Get him out tonight. Even if he leaves you his key, barricade your door in case he has a spare key and get your locks changed tomorrow. You're well rid. Block him on social media, block his number, focus on your holiday.

Missarad

Rtft.

The f there wasn't short for 'full" btw.

@Missarad You know mortified means embarrassed don’t you?

Christ.. I cannot believe anyone can come on here and defend this guys behaviour ...

You're well rid OP..

Hurrah he's done you a favour! Of course as he thrives on keeping you on the back foot, this won't be the back of him. If he gets his way, that is. Kick him out, change the locks, block him and then do the freedom programme.

This behaviour where he is trying to rewrite history is known as gaslighting. Trying to make you believe something that isn't true.

What an absolute tosser. You’ve five but hung wrong

Spell correct issue. Nothing wrong

Lucky escape.

Get him out and BLOCK

Thank goodness
The trash has taken itself out.
Don't overthink this.
Be bloody glad he's ended it.

Just sayin it is a very good idea to change the locks, you don't know if he's made copies, could turn out to be a total nutjob;!

And when you get to NZ pass on my best wishes to my first Girl Friend who lives there now:)

Delighted to hear that he saved you the trouble of dumping him, Emily. That’s very good news. Just make sure he has moved out before you go to NZ, and get the locks changed. Then have a wonderful holiday.

'The trash has taken itself out' 🤣🤣
Exactly.

OP you're 25. I look on that as 5 years in, to your 60 years of adulthood. The very beginning. You have friends, a decent job, money management skills. Your gobshite detector isn't great, but, can only improve. I'm married to a lovely decent man, and I dated my share of gobshites. The lingo is universal, so you'll spot it quicker in the future.
I would suggest some sort of confidence/empowering therapy, as has been mentioned.
Plus be proud. He's only leaving because he can't control you.

He's only leaving because he can't control you.

So very true.