Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

[user1471427667]

Thank you everyone for your replies. It felt worse writing it down as it made it real, but your replies are helping me grow a backbone and get angry, which feels better than just being upset.
So sorry for everyone who has experienced similar. I wouldn’t like to think there is someone else, but who knows. He certainly is a very good liar if that’s so. Last saw him Friday and he was same as ever, fun, chatty and very loving and complimentary.
Hells bells LOL! I love that message, and believe me that is one of my options! But don’t want to give him satisfaction that he has got under my skin so much ( even though he has!). I just want him to feel as dismissed and not cared about as he’s made me feel. But then I also want to talk to him and hold him again😩.
Dione, I have thought that too briefly, just because it’s so out of character, but then don’t know who else it could be. I waited a few hours for him to text back that it was some sort of ‘joke’ .
‘Tired of this’ I think if I did reply, I would be tempted to go for something unemotional like that.

[hellsbellsmelons]

it makes you look angry which even if you are you don’t want him to know
I'll never understand this kind of sentiment.
Let him fucking know.
He's a disrespectful cunt who is probably a cheat as well.
OP has every right to be angry and he should damn well know about it.
You don't go around destroying other people and then expect no comeback!
He's an entitled twat.

[Tish008]

What am arse, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

I'd probably reply "coward" then block him

The best revenge is a life well lived after all!

Get rid of his stuff and get some ice cream in!

[BendyLikeBeckham]

OP, how shit is that. He has someone else (either already has been dating her or has her lined up). I guarantee it.

It isn't you. It isn't your fault. Try not to take it personally.

He is a coward and does not deserve your tears.

[user1471427667]

Oh god! Just realised he took a few bits of clothing he had a my place when he saw me on Friday ( said he wanted those particular items for a camping trip he’s going on in a few weeks). Didn’t think much of it, but now realise he took toiletries of his too so he has nothing left at mine. Seems like he planned on not coming back.
I’m gutted and so confused. I don’t have anything at his, aside from a toothbrush and a few bits like that that I won’t miss at all. Plus he lives about 30 miles away so may never see him again.

[TwentyViginti]

So he planned this. Cowardly cunt

[Wereallsquare]

I've had one of those wankers in my life. Tiresome idiots. If he is anything like the tosser I dealt with, he will try to come back into your life. Do not allow it, no matter how tempting it may be when you remember the great times you shared. If he acts that cruelly once, he is capable of doing it again and again. Count yourself seriously fortunate to be rid of a gigantic ass.

Looking back. I could see signs that I would be blindsided (if that makes sense), but chose to ignore them because he had my trust.

I would not reply. Carry yourself with absolute dignity even if you feel horrible inside. Talk about your feelings here, but do not let the bastard know that your heart is broken. Do not give him the satisfaction.

[Mandarinfish]

In a tiny way better that he planned it? Because his initial text makes it sound like he just woke up one morning and decided to end it for no reason at all! But still - what a fucking coward not to even talk to you about it.

[Graciebutterfly]

I would reply but then I'm a petty biatch.

Thank God you said it I don't feel so bad now for seeing Jake. All the best with the camping trip x

[Sagradafamiliar]

The reason why? Cos he's a cunt, that's why. There's nothing you could have done to deserve that so at least you know it's all on him.

[user1471427667]

You are all so wonderful, thank you 😊
Believe me, I’ve thought of sending everyone of those angry or cold texts or not replying. At the moment I think by not replying I still have the option of sending a text at some point. But if I reply now either angrily or coldly, I can’t take it back.
As the opposite to love is indifference not anger, I would like to be strong enough to not reply as I think it would get him thinking and hurt his ego .
We saw each other two nights at least in the week and most weekends.I can’t believe he doesn’t think I deserve a face to face talk and some kind of explanation.
Wish I could stop checking my phone. It’s my day off today ( which he knows) and I usually go to his place on a Monday eve, so he could have told me tonight instead of a text message sent at 3am!!

[toomanyleggings]

How old are you? The clue was 2 years. I never dated a guy for more than a year once I got beyond 25 without a ring. Just block him. Otherwise he'll come creeping back when he's bored and use you a bit more

[R2519]

I would perhaps go back and say, something like 'Thank you.....i have been thinking about how to tell you since Xmas that i didnt want this to continue so you have saved me a job. Take care'.

[user1471427667]

I’m not going to reply. For now at least ( my emotions change every 5 mins though!)
Will call some friends later to talk/tell them, although I sort of feel embarrassed that he’s done this and I didn’t see it coming, stupid I know.
Thank you so much to you all, I feel slightly more normal after reading all your messages

[litterbird]

Please, please dont send anything or say anything to him. It happened to me. He came crawling back 4 years later. I wanted nothing to do with him. He found my absolute blanking him was the reason he couldn't move forward with the woman he left me for ( I didn't know about her at the time). If you keep silent it really screws them up I can tell you. You get the space to rise above it all and he can crawl back under the rock he came from. Silence was the most powerful tool I had at the time and it worked.

[keepingbees]

You sound level headed OP.
You're doing the right thing by ignoring him (aside from text suggestion up thread )
It's his loss, and whilst it must really hurt now you are better off without such a spineless idiot in your life and you will see it in time. Anger will eventually replace the hurt, hang in there

[ForkHandlesplease]

He's lower than the lowest, and a coward too.
As you say, not replying is doing as he asked, I'd reply but just something quick along the lines of .." Well aren't you a delight!"

[hellsbellsmelons]

Don't feel embarrassed.
HE should be embarrassed.
You haven't done a bloody thing wrong.
Reach out.
Let everyone know what a cowardly asshole he is.
He had this planned.
He absolutely could have had a conversation with you but chose this
way instead.
He's a weak pathetic man.
But I'm still raging for you.
2 years - YEARS!!!
And this is all you deserve.
Well at least you know who he is now.

[BlancoNita]

Ah Op what a dickhead, you must be so hurt and left wondering, but if he can be that cold and cowardly, then your really better off without him.

I genuinely would text back this :

No probs (thumbsup)

Fucking horrible git, some people have no shame!

[stophuggingme]

@hellsbellsmelons that was me you quoted

My sentiment comes from bitter experience that there is precisely nothing to be gained from showing arseholes like this how you feel. They don’t care.

They want the neediness and anger as it serves as an affirmation their behaviour and antics are having the desired impact.

Why give them that satisfaction?

Why not just let them believe you don’t care enough to warrant all that drama? Far more cathartic I say

[lifeisgoodmostofthetime]

That's awful op. 2 years is a long time. I wouldn't be able to just walk away without some closure and I'm not sure anyone else would either. I'd phone him and ask him what's going on. I'd want some sort of explanation even if it is the end. You'll just be wondering forever otherwise.

[Lunalady21]

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of any kind of reply! And when, not if, he comes into contact with you just show him much happier you are without him.. because he will come crawling back when he realises the grass isn’t greener! And more so his curiosity with get the better of him wondering what you’re upto without him.. absolute prick!
You deserve so much better and it will be so hard and souls destroying trying to understand ‘what did I do wrong?’... well the answer is you dis NOTHING wrong.. he’s just a coward and has made the decision based on his own selfish wants to not discuss your relationship .. fuck him! Good luck OP 💖

[justbeingelle]

What a dick! You have had a lucky escape. You're worth so much more than him.

[stophuggingme]

@hellsbellsmelons we just approach things differently as people do I was going to add.

I would rather walk down the street naked then send your suggested reply as if I was that bloke I would bloody love a text like that to laugh with my mates or the other woman with down the pub.

It’s apples and pears isn’t it

[toomanyleggings]

The minute you send that text, you'll be waiting for a reply. That's an even worse feeling than right now. Keep the remaining dignity you have. No message is also a message.