Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

It was a note through the door after 4 years for me... Also telling me not to get in touch etc. Turns out he'd started shagging the barmaid at the local (she's just had his baby) this was 6 years ago... It turned out OK, a few months later I met my insanely gorgeous and hot dh and we've been together happily ever since. Ex did me a HUGE favour.. Believe me, better is out there. Just keep away from the phone and stay classy 😁

Op it's unspeakably cruel and shows a terrible cowardice. I do know of similar situations happening to friends. Someone gave good advice about closure coming from your own acceptance one day in the future. Nothing he says will make this better or stop hurting.

It's simple sadly. He is a coward and wanted out without drama. Maybe he wants to end it but feels he wouldn't be able to do it to your face.

One day you will find your own way to acceptance. The next fwq months will be painful as hell

I wouldn't be strong enough to not reply but I genuinely think its the best response. He will feel ashamed and will wonder how you are.

I found out my boyfriend years ago had left me for someone else and 20 years later I still regret letting him know how much it hurt by talking to him about it.

I wish I had just blocked him and never spoken to him again and he could have lived with wondering and feeling bad about his own behaviour

As you say. If you don't reply its always there as an option.

Once you have replied I guarantee you will feel immense sadness and rage because you have lost the only bit of power you had.

However. Whatever you do don't feel bad!! Do what you need and he is the only one who needs to feel bad.

Same here @onemansoapopera 😁 although my break up was only about 6 months ago, I feel like he did me a massive favour!

I would have said reply 'fair enough' with your thumbs up emoji ....
Buuut
I think you've left it too late now to respond, a stoney dignified silence is absolutely the way forward. You're doing great x

This time next year you'll wonder why was you was so upset. Sounds like hes just a cowardly douche and you've had a lucky escape to me

He's a horrible coward. You invested two years of your life in a relationship with him and to be dumped so cruelly really shocked me.

I would not send a thing, not a thing.

As others have said, take time out to look after yourself. The shock will likely give way to anger and then a low feeling. You know those feelings will pass.

Big hug to you; he was cruel and you deserved so much better. Mind yourself xxx

I’m sorry OP this is shit.

Similar has happened to me 3 times. 2 times I did not keep my cool at all and regret it hugely. 3rd time I did and I feel better about that one

1st time BF dumped me via FB by taking off our RS status whilst he was locked in the bathroom I thought having a bath and then refused to come back out and discuss why. I don’t think he realised that I would actually get the notification! He then hid from me for hours and hours whilst I dumped everything he owned in my house onto the driveway. Eventually he left in the middle of the night when he escaped his barricaded room. He made out to the whole town that I was insane! He was shagging someone else

2nd time I was dating someone for 9 months and he went on holiday. Saw him the night before, all fine. Never heard from him again. In the end after a month I knocked on his door he refused to answer so I left a note asking him to leave my shoes in a bag outside the back gate the next day. It rained all night and he threw them into the back garden they were ruined. I was fucking raging

3rd time was my last RS. He just stopped texting me or seeing me after nearly 2 years. I ended up having to text him ‘is that it then we are over?’ And he just text back ‘seems that way’. Never spoke again

Agree with the posters who say do not text! Hell be wondering about the radio silence , every time you think about texting come in here and we will talk you out of it!

Stay strong

Thanks everyone for being so lovely, you have all really helped me sort through my feelings and get through the day.
I’m sorry a lot of you seem to have gone through similar things, and worse.
Brilliant advice about closure coming from within. I’ll try and remember that when I want to write him a 20 page essay asking him what the hell he is playing at.
Friend just rang and she is on her way with chocolate cake and wine 🍷.

I;d have played with him, sent him a text when you'd normally be on your way over to say "sorry been out of touch all day, phone been playing up, am on my way, see you soon!"

But probably i'd just send a thumbs up (and maybe an x to really make him wonder if you got the message or not)

What a prat!

Do NOT message him.

He will never tell you why or give you closure. It will be another women.. you don't need to know anything more than that. Other than that he is a dick head and that you can now move on to a decent bloke.

This happened to me once. After a 14 yr relationship (with DC involved) via an email. I never got the answers I needed/wanted.. the only thing I got by biting to his email was less dignity.

Don't do it.

DON'T TEXT HIM!

I texted my ex numerous times after he broke it off and called him every name under the sun. And then 2 weeks later text him that I missed him 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ I still cringe now when I think of it and that was 2 years ago.

He may have put 'don't reply' but he will be fully expecting you to. SO DON'T!

What a cowardly little prick, he doesn't even deserve your headspace.

Agree with PPs. He has done you a favour--he has shown you who he is. You could have been financially tied to this man (or had kids!) so, as PP have said, lucky escape. Completely agree that he is a weak, spineless bastard!! If you can resist, silence is golden. Be strong.

He's waiting on tenter hooks for your reply and for that very reason alone I wouldn't text. He'll never know what your reaction was. Relief? Devastation? Anger? Never have the satisfaction of knowing he got to you. It'll always be a question for him, just like his shitty text is for you. And for that reason I wouldn't respond. Fuck him. What an arsehole.

If no one has said it, maybe delete his number so you can’t message him after the wine!

You are doing so well OP x

You are OP ! You are so strong. When I discovered I had been lied to and two timed, I sent him 4 really long messages telling him why his behaviour was shitty and how I deserved a lot better, it had only been 2 months ! Honestly when I look back I cringe. Well first of all the conversation had to happen so I could discover the truth, but I could have blocked him right away.
I think silence really does speak volumes and you are rising above it. I wish i'd been able to do that. I hope you will start to feel better in time, you really are better off without.

Don't reply. Fuck him the gutless wanker. Keep yourself busy with your friends and work and stay away from him. He's obviously not the person you thought he was.
Hold your head high and get on with your life. You're better off without him.
If you see him just say hi and carry on walking. You deserve better and will meet someone better. X

I got ghosted for the last time in a 3 year relationship (pick me dance for 2 years, ashamed to admit - which he loved). I realised he blocked me on FB, so I blocked him back and cut contact. He rang about 2 months later to say he had been posted to Afghanistan, and would I see him, to wish him luck in case he died . I explained politely that he'd taken up enough of my time, I don't wish him any ills, but I don't want to see him ever again, or talk to him either. I blocked his number on my phone (previously deleted) and got married to my gorgeous husband and got pregnant. While pregnant, he messaged me on LinkedIn the only way he could get to me, and I blocked him there too. 2 years ago he tried to make contact via his new wife's Instagram. I took his ghosting seriously for the last time in 2008 and he still creeped about. My silence made him look crazy and desperate. Don't be the crazy desperate one. Keep on being dignified and block and ignore. He will end up looking like an arse in all of this, and you can keep your head up high. Someone who finishes a 2 year relationship by text FEEDS on drama. Don't give him the pleasure xx

Reply with just a thumbs-up

Please don't reply he's expecting you to do that. As you said he knows you.
Do what he's not expecting and walk away silent and dignified it's his loss. X

What a psychopath! You've dodged a bullet. Delete and block him everywhere and if he ever tries and manages to contact you again, i hope you tell him to go f*ck himself.

I agree that those who can suddenly act completely differently from one day to the next, suddenly go cold, there are some other issues going on there, you've had a lucky escape.

Pound to a penny he's met someone else. Treat yourself to a shopping trip and don't reply.

I agree that it’ll drive him potty by not replying. Don’t give him the benefit of your response & it will hurt like hell but please always remember that this is his doings and his cowardly ways are nothing to reflect on you.
You deserve the world and this prick-bag has lost someone Golden.
There’s an army of ladies/men here to support you.
Keep your head high & Big hugs x

Sorry but I would not be able to resist replying "Thank Fuck for that"