Dumped by text

[user1471427667]

Bf of 2 years sent me this text in the early hours of this morning.
“Hey I’ve been thinking about us and it’s just not working out so best to end it. No need to reply. All the best”
I feel absolutely blindsided. Didn’t see this coming at all. Aside from the shock of it, I feel so dismissed that he put “no need to reply” as if he I don’t have a say in it ( well I know I don’t but the urge is to try and talk about what he feels is wrong)
Should I ignore what he said and try and contact him to find out what’s wrong and try and work it through or at least end it amicably? Or just accept it somehow and not reply.
I feel as if someone has punched me in the stomach and everything I thought was real just isn’t.
Please help me retain some dignity and tell me best way to reply or not.

[WheresMyChocolate]

Don't dignify his cowardice with a reply. You're worth more than that.

[ineedaholiday11]

Sounds like he has been investigating his chances elsewhere and has decided to press ahead. Don't reply (it will just stoke his ego), just block him everywhere. That way you will not be expecting contact. Even if he does change his mind you deserve to be treated better than this.

[user1471427667]

Well, 13 hours since I got the text. Not that I’m counting of course!
Trying to take my mind of it but I keep feeling really nauseous and can’t eat.
Zaphod - yes, would like him to wonder what’s going on just to have a little taste of what I’m going through.He will know I’ve got the text as, stated before, I usually go to his on a Monday night ( he said see you Monday when I last saw him - bastard). I won’t be turning up there tonight so obvious I got text.
So, I’m going with trying to maintain my dignity, which is pretty hard whilst wearing pyjamas from last night and surrounded by snotty, tear soaked tissues😭

[bangheadhere40]

You have done the right thing by not replying, however hard that is x

[TwentyViginti]

Well HE doesn't know you're still in PJs and covered in snot, that's the main thing! He doesn't how you've taken it, and will be wondering......"she hasn't said anything....... maybe she isn't bothered......WHY isn't she bothered......."

Leave him to wonder.

[dontgobaconmyheart]

Oh OP what a pathetic little worm he is - I know it doesn't help now while it is raw but what that says about him is easily sufficient to know he is a cowardly man child and not worth bothering with.

For what it's worth rightly or wrongly I'd have text back but only to say sentiments such as 'I'll text back if I want, I think you're overestimating your own importance, shame you lacked the maturity to express this in person but I agree that it would not work out- all the best!' Then block. Do not re engage with him if he changes his mind or makes contact. It would just have annoyed me too much that he thinks he has the right to avoid any reply and can dictate as such.

Be assured that you are maintaining your dignity OP- he hasn't. This will get better . Sounds odd maybe but when I was last in a similar boat after the first initial big cry I genuinely found it helpful to put a time limit on it - allow myself 20 minutes of crying/swearing/eating crap - then draw the line and move on for the day before it took anything more away from me.

[TheMemoryLingers]

I agree, you have done the right thing by not texting. An angry, cold or upset response would show you care and a sarcastic or breezy one would be interpreted as putting a brave face on things.

[Catrin70]

It is a horrendous way for someone to end a relationship. He won't text again as his comment "no need to reply" means that he doesn't want to get into a discussion about his actions. I absolutely get that you want a discussion about what has gone wrong (maybe he's got another woman) but men and women are different and men have little emotional intelligence. I wouldn't text him - keep your self respect and move on.

[SunshineAvenue]

Text 'Phew! I've dodged a bullet there #cunt'

[combatbarbie]

Do you usually have contact with him during day, something just isn't sitting right with what you have said about how he was with you on Friday.... If it was planned he'd have been distracted/distant, not making love and looking at you intently.


Men are pricks though, i was seeing someone but had to go overseas for 6 months, logged into Facebook one day to find my relationship status was single and loads of comments from friends..... I was as baffled as they were. He just took cowards way out..... Then I met my husband a few days later

[StealthMama]

I personally would reply as this is a very strange ending after two years? I would probably say...

Ok got your msg, not sure why you couldn't do this face to face on Friday, that would have been the decent thing to do after 2 years. I see you took your stuff then too, so now I just think you're a bit of a knob really. No need to reply. Bye.

[StealthMama]

And I hate to say it but I reckon he's already met someone else and something happened over the weekend that made him choose to end it with you.

[Wereallsquare]

OP, would you consider getting some therapy as soon as possible so that this experience becomes one from which you can learn rather than one that is damaging? I really wish I had done that after my experience of being blindsided. Being dumped so suddenly without explanation made me feel like deep down there was something wrong with me and it made me really unwilling to fully trust a man again. Even now, I feel like I cannot trust my own judgment in relationships.

I think a few sessions with a good therapist could help you to understand this experience in a positive way. The sooner, the better so you don't waste more energy on this loser.

Just a thought. Ignore as appropriate.

[GoodnightJude1]

You are amazingly strong OP! I’m not sure I could have resisted sending an arsey text calling him all the names under the sun. Your way is far more dignified and I’m sure he’s probably been looking at his phone all day expecting a reply from you. Let it eat away at him. He’s a massive cowardly shit and deserves no response from you.
I know it probably won’t feel like it now....but I think you’ve had a lucky escape from someone that thinks it’s ok to treat somebody like this. 💐

[jellybean85]

Definitely don't reply your silence will be absolutely killing him and it's very dignified!! You can do it!

Have you watched the good place? It's on Netflix, got me through a shitty break up

[Bluntness100]

That's brutal, he just doesn't wish to deal with it, hence the don't reply. And taking his stuff on Friday and acting like normal is really really bad. It takes a cold bastard to do that.

Don't reply. As others said, if you do it gives him the power.

[rosegoldwatcher]

Each time you feel like you just have to reply, write what you WOULD say on here instead. We will attempt to make you laugh with a reply befitting a twunt manchild.

[PatchworkElmer]

You’re doing the right thing by not replying OP. What an awful man!

[user1471427667]

Lol Dontgobacon, that is what is eating away at me. A big reason I want to text is because he has told be not to reply- how dare he dictate to me what I do! Very contrary I know, but that’s me and he knows that about me so do wonder if that’s why he said it!
Combatbarbie, that’s awful! But it worked out great in the end, good for you! We do usually meet up at weekend but we both had long-standing plans so couldn’t this weekend. I actually thought that maybe why he was being so extra loving - because he wasn’t going to see me for 3 days. We did text though on Sat and Sunday lunchtime. All quite normal and happy, until the 3 am text.
Jellybean - no, not seen that and am up for a Netflix binge. Please tell me it’s not about a boy dumping a girl though!

[user1471427667]

Rosegold - lol, thank you, will do.

[HotGlueGun]

Out of interest, did you have any contact with him on Saturday/ Sunday day time at all? If so, what was the tone of his interactions?

[user1471427667]

Bluntness, thank you. That’s what I can’t get my head around - the coldness. It’s like I never really knew him at all. I always thought I was a pretty good judge of character- I’m doubting everything now

[insanepizza]

I knows it's hideous now but really you've dodged a bullet.

[weddingdrama123]

Is your ex my ex op?! Yep it really sucks but trust me plenty more men out there for you that have more respect than to end over a text message.

Don't reply. It will annoy him more wondering find you got the text or even care.

[ALittleBitConfused1]

I was in a 6 year relationship and round my friends one day when my mum called to ask why he had dropped the spare key at hers.
It wasnt the spare key, it was his. I got home and had cleared all of his stuff and half of everything we bought together out of the house. It was completely planned. Didnt even say goodbye to my then 10 year old son (wasnt his son but wed meet when he was 4 so a huge part of his life).
I learned that it doesnt matter what someone says or does or what explanations he may or not give you. We provide our own closure and it comes from acceptance of a situation and that takes time. I'm sorry he has done this. It hurts like hell but you will get over it in time, once the shock wears off you will start to see things clearer.
I wouldn't contact him again. He is a coward and if he is capable of hurting you like this, show such little respect you are better off without him.