Boyfriends dad convicted of rape. Help

[Allison8]

My bf told me early in our relationship that his father has been in prison for years because he was convicted of dozens of rapes on an underage boy. he told me that his father was innocently convicted and gave several examples of why. I have suspected that my boyfriend has left things out from the story and found the judgment on the web. There I read ceveral things that makes me very sure that his father is guilty. he was also convicted of downloading pictures of naked children. He have also done other crimes in the past that he told me about. My bf and his dad have a very close relationship (best friends) and we see him all the time. Me and my bf have also talked about getting children in the future, but Im now scared of this. I have not told my bf I have read the judgment. What would you do?

Do you know how much of a risk this would be for any children you had in the future ? It’s likely this would prompt social services input too as your boyfriend would not be considered protective.
I can understand that your boyfriend doesn’t want to accept that these things are true but you don’t have to stay with him

Fuck that! RUN

of course he denies it, pedophiles groom everyone around them. How could you possibly be attached to this family.

We have been together for a year, but I've never loved someone as much as him. And we're young adults. So kids wouldnt be an option now, that would be about 5 years on or so. Thanks for all the answers ❤️

Also think about how you’d feel about this man being at your wedding, parties etc pretty much any event or celebration you have that includes children.

@Allison8 you need to talk about it before it gets anywhere near that point. Breaking a year down the line is a lot easier than 5.

please dont have kids with your boyfriend.

Leave the boyfriend, obviously. You can never have children with him because he is in denial about his paedophile rapist father.

It doesn’t sound like you’re taking any of this advice very seriously OP. You’re going to stay with him aren’t you?

God help your poor children.

He came ou of prison 6 years ago if thats of any interest

I’m so ducking angry reading this. Of course you break up with him and never see him or his disgusting father ever again.
Break up with him today you’ll be over it in 6 months max, if you don’t and have children with your bf you will never know any peace.

I have no idea how hard I would find it to accept that someone I loved was a child rapist. I would probably want to cling to any shred of evidence or suggestion that they could be innocent.

But I do know I would not have children with anyone who was in such a situation. How do you police family photos? Keep all of your children off Facebook? Explain to your kids why they can never see or speak to Daddy’s Dad?

You say you see him often.

How do you feel about socialising with someone who raped a child and enjoyed it?

If you stay with this man, your bf, you will have to disclose this if you ever work in a school, a nursery, a GP surgery, any organisation that works with kids in any way.

What knots are you having to tie yourself in to make you stay?

Your instinct was good, OP, you didn’t take your bf’s word for it, you looked it up. You were looking after yourself. Keep going!

No, op, the time frame is of neither interest nor relevance.

You need to talk to your boyfriend.
Specifically you need to ask:
What are the legal restrictions on his father having contact with children?
Whether he would cut contact with his dad if you had children?
Whether he'd risk his children being removed by SS by prioritising his father

Leave. Stay as far away from that shit as possible.

Chances are he is a victim of his father too there is a possibility that he has been groomed to get victims for daddy even if he breeds them

Run like the fucking wind

I am taking it seriously? I'm just in a really hard situation. I will never have children with him if he choose his dad over his children. Never. I'm just saying we talked about getting kids before I knew he was quilty. I just need advise on how to tell all this to my bf (I'm not sure if he even read the judgment).

Collect your evidence. Talk to your boyfriend when it's a calm and relaxed situation. Keep in mind that he is going to be defensive. Be careful with how you word things, but firm. Don't let him bring you around. Tell him what you believe and what you expect from him.

You need to talk to your boyfriend.
Specifically you need to ask:
What are the legal restrictions on his father having contact with children?
Whether he would cut contact with his dad if you had children?
Whether he'd risk his children being removed by SS by prioritising his father

Why?
What’s the point?
He is a liar and totally enmeshed with his DF.
Which is not surprising as that is the grooming MO of paedophiles.

Why would you continue to have a relationship with a paedophille denier?

As soon as he told me I would have ended the relationship.

So his father is a paedophile who was convicted of multiple rapes on a boy and having images of children. His father denies it as does your boyfriend. So they truly believe he was convicted in error. Given the mans interest in boys I wonder if your partner was himself abused by his father? Also given the conviction his dad will be on the sex offenders register and will have conditions placed on him. I couldn't stay with a man like your DP. As others have said if you stay with him any DC you have in the future will not be safeguarded against this man as he is 'innocent'. You were even believing the story yourself until you read the details. From my dealings with child sex offenders, they are very good at lying and playing the victim. I wouldn't be staying around

You'll be crying a lot harder if you stay and have kids with him.

It would be morally wrong IMO given that your BF is defending his Dad.

Do yourself a huge favour and ditch him, honestly it's not worth the monumental aggro.

Why do you keep saying “getting” kids, op? Is it a Freudian slip? It’s quite disturbing.

Seriously, just walk away now.

@Gutterton
The point is that it might help the OP to realise how enmeshed her BF is, and help the bf to understand the reality of his denial (loss of relationship) which is what the OP is asking for advice on

Sorry, I dont really speak English. Only learnt it in school. How should you say it?