The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@KLS02 Blimey, that timing sucks! You poor thing. Still, better now than when the baby is born and hormones and sleepless nights would make everything harder. Welcome.

So glad people are up for a meet up. Waving at @Upyerbum70. Where are you, lovely? I am in West Yorkshire. I was thinking maybe London for a meet up. Easy to get the train to and we could.maybe go to a show?

@Misty9 you aren't a fraud! There's nothing wrong with wanting to ultimately be with someone. Whst I do think having time out of dating shows, though, is how much poor relationships affect mental health. So, for me personally, I don't want to date again until I feel like I am the best "me" I can be, and that my self esteem is strong and won't be knocked by dickheads behaving like dickheads. I think lots of people would benefit from sorting themselves before embarking on something new. It means we are less likely to accept crappy behaviour, or even attract idiots in the first place. That's my theory anyway. Plus, I have too much I want to do and I don't want to have to consider someone else.

I was thinking today that as I have always fancied moving to Devon, when DD has left home or finished her schooling anyway, there is no reason why I can't move. That was such a freeing feeling. And I don't want to compromise that for someone else. Why can't they compromise for me and do what I want to do? But women are socialised to put men first and follow their dreams. Well, bugger that for a game of soldiers. I am tired of thinking "well I can't do X because he wouldn't want to do it". What about what WE want? I am done compromising my dreams and ambitions for a partner. Cos if/when the relstionship ends, you don't have a partner any more and still haven't achieved the things that mattered to you. Sod that.

@Misty9 it hasn’t been great but I’m doing much better now, thank you. i’m just focusing on my DD and this LO x

@Upyerbum70 my family have been amazing, especially with DD x

Sorry, that was a rant! 😳

Would some one mind setting up thread 2 please as I have totally forgotten how to link threads. Sorry!

@KLS02 So glad that you are doing ok and your family are supportive. Sounds like you have dodged a bullet by things ending now. And at least you won't have to put him on the birth certificate and baby can have your name. Do you know the baby's sex? When are you due? A thread baby is so exciting!

@sirching I would... but I have no idea what you're talking about! Linking threads..., eh!?! What is this techiness?

Hear hear to getting strong. I just read a thread about someone who hadn't heard back from a bloke after a "great" second date. And I thought sod that for a game of soldiers. The actual thought of dating make me shudder. And all that chasing and not knowing how anyone feels and whatnot... currently I'm not robust enough for any of it.

My house painting antics are a bit dull to look at... but the mirror... here it is!

@SirChing..Songs of Sinatra at the Festival Hall..it was fabulous! And the sunny view across the Thames was also fabulous. I am also gagging to see Les Mis again, it's been a number of years.. 

@Maturewine78 my goodness you are a really keen runner, I am so lazyI really do need to get fit, I'm actually scared of exercise, what's that all about?! I really admire sporty sorts!

@mildlymiffed another runner (and creative) type! I need to crack on with my bedroom too, but I hate doing stuff on my own, I sound patheticcan you post a pic of the mirror? You must be exhausted after the party!

@KLS02 welcomewhat a horrible situation you're in! Do you have support in RL? Are you ok? How old is your child?

I am up for meeting..anywhere!

To all I've not mentioned, I hope all is well

Crikey, my message took me so long to put together, there's been a raft of them since

@mildlymiffed You answered my request before you saw it

@Itsallpointless I'm about as creative as my left toe. But- I'm also only just getting used to be properly single, and a bit skint! So this was a first in terms of painting and DIY adventures. I'm quite pleased. I have the telly cabinet and a blanket box to attack next. I do have some ultra girly prints about my bed that I shall now flaunt too!!!

Yes to London and Les Mis! I'd love that 🙂

@SirChing i’m glad about the BC, dd has my surname and i didn’t like the idea of this one having a different name so i’m glad we’re all the same now. i’m having a little boy and due on the 1st of June X

@Itsallpointless i have a lot of support from my family, DM and DGM visit me everyday, or i visit them. DM will also be staying with me for a while after having DS to help out. i’m feeling okay, a bit miffed that history has repeated itself, but focusing on my DC now so feeling better. DD is 2 x

@SirChing sorry, linking threads is not one of my CV skills. 🤔

@mildlymiffed I have house envy. Mine is more like one step forwards, two steps back. And exhausting just trying to maintain the status quo. I’m in awe of those that have lovely homes.

I too read the threads about relationships and dating and think “f**k that for a game of soldiers”. I truly thought I’d reached the stage where I was pretty hard to win over. I didn’t instigate contact, let ‘him’ Do most of the legwork . Ok, ok, it didn’t work out on this occasion but I know i didn’t sell myself short or embarrass myself and I’m good with that. NC - I don’t do ‘pick me’ - and seethe quietly.

I have moved areas at work and I’m trying to make friends in the - mostly male - office. Finding it a bit draining. I’m
Like the new kid at school. Embarrassing really, considering my age.

@KLS02 how old is your little one? Hope you had a peaceful weekend and you’re looking after yourself and bump 💐

@KLS02 so glad you have support in RL, that is so so vital, you will have your hands full with a 2yo and a newborn, not that you don't already!

@mildlymiffed I think you've done a great job quite frankly, being skint brings out creativity somewhat as you don't have much choicelove the bedroom btw, looks very inviting!

Cross posts. A boy! That’s so lovely and sounds like you have a great family too.

@Upyerbum70 I get house envy too. I'm currently looking at a full clothes rail in my lounge, as my bedroom is undergoing 'construction'. I've not been blessed with interior design skills, relying solely on Pinterest and the like. But I'm so fickle, one minute modern, the next retro, the next cosy etc etc, so I end up with all the fickle things I like which look like the old curiosity shop

Re linking threads, it's easy - just start a new one then copy the link in the Web address bar and paste it into a post here I don't feel initiated enough to start the next one

Or if someone can create a new thread in the next few minutes, I'll do the copying and pasting

@Itsallpointless sorry but I laughed at old curiosity shop 😂

I’m sure it’ll be ace x

@misty9- I'm happy to start it... I'll just call it "the happy singleton- part two" I take it we're in the relationships section...?

Okay... @misty9 I've done it. Can you do the techy bit? Form an orderly queue everyone! Go and chip in and fill up our next thread with the same fabulous atmosphere!

Found it!
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3837015-the-happy-singleton-part-two?watched=1&msgid=94359896#94359896

thank you everyone! i’m sorry i haven’t read previously and it seems i’m just talking about myself! but yes my family are great, i don’t know what i'd do without them. i'm very excited about having one of each, even though it will be super hard

i find what i struggle with the most since being single is that i don't feel like i really fit in with anyone. i'm a younger mum and most of my friends aren't even thinking about children, they're great with DD but i find its just the novelty of having a little baby around and i can't talk about how difficult i'm finding being a single mum. but then i find a lot of average aged mums don't want to talk to me because i'm a young mum so they have already stereotyped me. sorry for my rant anyway! just needed to get it out

Hi troops, how're you all doing? Do we need a new thread, or is there one?

Some of us were discussing resurrecting this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3945889-Gone-off-men-permanently? so I thought I'd go for it.

Weirdly I was just thinking of you guys today! Yep new thread is...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3837015-the-happy-singleton-part-two