The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

[SirChing]

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all

@sirching
I hope those awful sexist tradesman fall knob first into a mixture of chillis and itching powder! Bastards!

Ah, here you all are!

Another happy singleton here. Been semi-detached single (man I only saw every six weeks or so) for the last eight years, recently ended it with him to concentrate on ME!

My only issue with being single is having to pay all the bills alone. i work an NMW job (but also one other creative job, which also earns) but must admit that having to pay EVERYTHING with no other input can sometimes (in cases of emergency) be tough.

So is there any correlation between being happily single and earning? It's easier to be happy when you are financially solvent, but then sometimes it's easier to be poor alone when you are totally in control of the outgoings.

Hi all, I'm not sure I belong on this thread but here goes:

Single nearly six years, divorced six months (abusive ex dragged out the finances as long as humanly possible).

I want to be like you - happily single - but it's hard with the constant ex-related stress.

I know that if i was to partner up with someone new right now, judging from my past performance the first thing I would probably do is to permanently shelve the novel i'm currently on the second draft of and make him/ her the "star of my show" and then wake up in another 38 years and realise I never lived life on my own terms! On the plus side maybe the possibility of a great relationship would make up for it?

I also have 3 dcs including one with a disability and I can't decide whether it's better that they have my undivided attention or whether I'd be a better mum with the right partner in my life

I think being single is very freeing. Financially a pain, but still not worth it for me to shack up with someone. Men in my age group (50s/60s) all seem to come with health problems, and most display some very outdated views on women.

Forgot to add - health problems they enjoy discussing at length

@NurseButtercup I hate that question! I always wonder 'why are men on here?'

Great thread

Coming up to 6 years single now. Fully by choice.

I have one daughter.

I have a FWB to handle the physical stuff.

I think for me, I tend to 'settle' ... I'm exuberant and confident, but have a habit of going for fixer-uppers. And then am surprised by how much fixing up they need...

Or maybe I attract the fixer uppers because I am quite 'together'- despite a shit few years. I have a good job, just about to move into my own nice gaff, have a good relationship with my ex, and my son is as reasonably adjusted as your average 9-yo boy. I'm also sensible (read a bit dull, little bit school prefect-esque). Probably a stealth boast, but I think I'm a reasonable catch! (If you can get past the c-section overhang, tree trunk thighs, and acerbic sense of humour!)

So my mantra now that from today I am adopting- is to stop settling for blokes who just aren't worthy!!

I am desperately missing the boyfriend though. Even though he's got drink and job issues- he is clever and funny and kind. He has left a void. Damn men. But 2020 is about self- improvement for me!

And just to recall my fave comment on OLD which was from a bloke who said "I'm not sure why I'm speaking to you, I usually only go for skinny woman, size 8 types". My response was "If you stand back and squint I may fit that bill, but I don't chat with twats, so suggest you jog on..."

Oh and the "sit on my face and I'll find my way to your heart".

Christ alive- reminding myself of this is just resolving my commitment to stay single!

@Zaphodsotherhead Definitely poor and in charge of your own budget! You at least don't plan a budget agree it with your other half, then they go out and buy a £300 camera they suddenly "needed", thereby blowing the budget It's much cheaper to live alone without someone whining about the hearing not being in and having something simple for tea. You stick to your guns!

@RuffleCrow Course you belong! And the fact that you think if you got with someone that you would lose yourself for years, means it's a good idea to be alone. At least until you are confident that that wont happen with someone.

@TwentyViginti - Health problems they enjoy discussing at length? Bloody hell, it would be like dating my 90 year old grandma!

@JacquesHammer Hi! Do you not find you get attached to your FWBs? I only ask as I have two male mates who know I want to be single but have offered their FWB services. Not close enough friendships to ruin if it all goes tits up though which is why the idea appeals.

@Redyellowpink

Hmmmmm I'm can't speak for any of the men on here, but I suspect that they have similar reasons; to gain a women's perspective on lots of different issues. I don't think anybody should be excluded.

Left my h nearly 3 years ago and happily single ever since. Very happy it just being me & the dc and very aware that if I was to meet someone it would affect the dc too and think we’re very happy as we are

Just coming up to 11 months single
Partner of several years died last Feb.
In truth im still too fucked up in the head to even consider dating again but i am beginning to see that being on your own aint so bad. Think i may be here for quite some time.

Hi! Do you not find you get attached to your FWBs? I only ask as I have two male mates who know I want to be single but have offered their FWB services. Not close enough friendships to ruin if it all goes tits up though which is why the idea appeals

I haven’t! The guy I sleep with is my closest friend. We’re close as friends but there’s certainly nothing else there. I think as long as boundaries are in place it’s a great arrangement.

@mildlymiffed

So my mantra now that from today I am adopting - is to stop settling for blokes who just aren't worthy!!

I sooooo relate to your words, I had a hysterectomy when I was 34 and then spent about 3-4 years dating men that I previously wouldn't have considered. Post surgery I felt like I was no longer a real woman, and decided to seek my femininity and revalidation as a woman via the approval of a man (?¡!??). What I actually needed was time to heal and counselling.

Thankfully I didn't stay in that fog for too long and I managed to extract myself from an abusive relationship. The rose tinted glasses have well and truly disappeared from my eyes with regards to men, dating & relationships. I'm an amazing woman, sister and friend and I, as well as all the amazing women on here deserve someone who is equally amazing, (as long as he puts the toilet seat down and agrees that we don't need to live together to be in a committed relationship).

zaphod I've been financially insecure in and out of relationships, and financially secure in and out of relationships. I'd take financially insecure but no relationship over financially secure but in a shit relationship any day. Financially secure but in a good relationship might just be a bit better, but the hassle of having even a great guy changing my lovely single life would probably not make it worth while. The only time I feel lonely is the Christmas/New Year period - now that's over I've got 50 weeks of contentment in front of me 😁😁

Oh don't get me wrong, I love being single! Wouldn't compromise it for anyone - well, maybe Tom Hiddleston could convert me, but apart from him...

It's just that never having money can be grindingly difficult, when there is nobody to take on half the costs of my (eye watering) council tax bill or help out if the washing machine breaks down. Although I freely admit that a lot of men are total twats about money too!

Yep, single life, me and my dog. Days off spent doing what I want, no moaning, able to see the kids whenever I (and they) want without a bloke complaining, hoovering only when I can see the dirt...

It's the only way.

Another happy member of the singleton crew here

I'm 38 and 5.5 months out of a nearly 2 year relationship, which I called off due to his anger, aggression and drinking issues. Since then he has made my life a living hell - the police have been involved, he's been given a harassment warning and is still trying to get at me in various ways. All of which has only served to make me even more thankful to be finally free of him. It took a while before I could move out of our shared flat because of financial difficulties, but I'm so happy and settled in my new home and am slowly rebuilding my life.

To be fair, there was a lot about the early part of our relationship I loved and sometimes miss, but all the awful things he's done in the past six months have made it a lot easier to move on and be ok with being on my own again. I am very independent and love my own space, which helps. I'm also lucky enough to have a fantastic family and lots of great friends which makes things much easier.

I tried out a couple of the dating apps again recently, mainly out of curiosity. Got talking to one guy who I felt I really clicked with. We had a couple of long phone chats and things seemed to be moving towards us meeting up. Until he admitted he was still married, still living in the family home (although "about to move out "), the reason for the breakup with his DW was that he'd had an affair which had only ended a couple of months before him matching with me online. He told me his DW still didn't know about the OW and although the affair had ended, only the weekend before he said he'd been looking at her Instagram and had seen she'd had a cancer scare so had been trying to contact her but not been able to and had been going out of his mind with worry...but apparently his relationship with her was "zipped up baggage"?!!! Er…..ok then mate. I blocked, deleted and ran several thousand miles in the opposite direction. I've also come off the apps again and have no desire for a relationship any time soon, possibly not ever.

So yeah - single and happily so here for the foreseeable!

I come bearing gifts and please help yourselves.

This thread is a great idea OP. Maybe one day we can have a singles Board.

Reading yet more threads today by women being treated badly by their men but who are reluctant to be alone, maybe they should be directed to this thread to see how good single life can be, whether it's for short or long term.

Child free and single here too, this is a good thread
P.s. Living on your own is ace!

Hi can I join? Single two years now, after a long marriage (27 years)
It's been tough at times, very tough. But no matter how low I feel I know I will never have to have his abusive arse in my life again and that is worth everything. I'm not looking for another relationship, I don't care wether men find me attractive or not. I'm 53 and I dress and wear make up to please myself. Men my age all seem to be looking for women in their 20s anyway! I just cannot be arsed with men and what they want and their whining and lying and evasions and obsessions with porn and their own dicks. I love living alone again; my loo is always clean, and my kitchen always tidy. I don't have to put up with sport or cretinous 'action' films on my telly.
The only male I have any time for is my DS (26), and he's grown into a man I'm proud of.
As for the rest of them...nah...off you fuck.

Yes a singles board brain wave !

Hello all. Happily single and child free here too. Been single a year, after abusive fuckwit husband cheated. Divorce through in a few weeks hopefully. Loving my single life! Living on my own (with my dog and cats) is bloody fantastic. No more shit, no more dramas or dealing with a pathetic man child! I am never saying never to dating but enjoying life on my own first! Great thread, is lovely to meet people in the same boat and mind set

Hi all, jumping on!

I'm approaching 6 years of singledom. I split up with my husband in 2014, DS was 10 months old at the time. We get on better as friends and co parent well.

I had a FWB for a couple of years but I ended it last April as I was even getting bored of sex.

I tried dating in 2015 but as soon as any man tried to get emotionally close to me I was immediately put off - it's like I just don't want anyone in my space at all!

I stopped dating and realised that single life is right for me. I'm very much a free spirit, I like to do things as and when I want to and not have to consider anyone else (apart from DS of course).

2020 is looking to be an exciting year. I am buying mine and DS's first home, all by myself. I have saved up a very healthy deposit which means I will be mortgage free in 15 years (I'm 29 years old). I am viewing a house this weekend that looks promising!

Happy to see others in the same situation and to be a part of this thread.

@Waxonwaxoff0 go you for the house purchase! I get my keys to my new pad on Friday! I'm excited too! First time I'll have had my own place (with ds!). I'm 38 and aim to be frugal as hell, as my mortgage runs until I'm 70, and do not want to be paying it til then. So have a 10% a year over payment allowance... so I will be aiming to hit as close to that as I can...