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Original poster

The Happy Singleton - All welcome!

997 replies

SirChing · 07/01/2020 23:25

Hello, following a thread where I discussed how happy and excited I was to have consciously decided to be single for 2020, it seems there are loads of us out there: People who are single through choice and happy about it.

Some plan on being single forever, some for a shorter time, but none of us are dating or want to date at the moment. We are too busy focusing on the important things in life: us!

This is a thread for anyone who wants to join it, to support and encourage each other, to discuss what we have or hope to learn by being single, and to discuss random practical stuff, like which companies don't charge single supplements for holidays.

Come on in and pull up a chair if you fancy a chat.

Happy 2020 all Wine

OP posts:
mildlymiffed · 25/02/2020 19:35

@misty9 & @lifegoes I am a shit mum! I bought the ready made pancake mixture stuff!!! And then my ds wanted a yogurt instead of pancakes! Oh well... it'll keep for a weekend breakfast sometime!

lifegoes · 25/02/2020 19:53

Hahaha @mildlymiffed tbh they could taste awful and he's not know he puts that much Nutella on them. I don't like them.

Misty9 · 25/02/2020 20:03

That makes you sensible not shit @mildlymiffed Grin I've got millions of intolerances so have to make my own mixture. My kids aren't here Sad but I made some for me and now feel a bit sick!

Upyerbum70 · 25/02/2020 20:12

I’m working lates this evening so we had Shrove Monday last night 😊

Maturewine78 · 25/02/2020 20:20

No pancakes for us today as I’ve been ferrying around from doctors to builders then work and son’s swimming training after that. It’s been one of those days. But I’ve promised my two I’ll make mummy’s pancakes at the weekend and they seem to be happy with that bless them.
After the day I’ve had I’m looking forward to jumping in my bed early. There won’t be any sleepless nights tonight I tell you.
Thank you all for being brilliant and supportive. Me too, I also feel understood and included on his tread. Although I’ve not be posting that often, reading your posts has given me the lift when I needed it most.

Taddda · 25/02/2020 20:47

What a warm welcome Blush...thanks all!

It's still really early stages here, so everything still quite raw but keeping it together, have to really-

Tbh I've been doing 99.9% of parenting our Dd's anyway, so the only thing that's changed right now is I haven't got a Manchild demanding 'Tea!' sitting on his phone, receiving emails such as 'Do you want to meet like minded singles like you' (spotted, which is difficult as he takes his phone everywhere...)...he's also never here, decreasing over months now- when he is its him in a 'mood'....all 'ffs' and 'sigh'...he does nothing because 'that's my job....' his job is apparently to 'pay for stuff'....that was definitely not the deal, nor true!

Theres lots of other stuff but I don't want to start a slate-a-thon...!

The dramatic 'key drop, storm out' last week (not the first) was enough...not heard from him until MIL passed on a message that 'he said he will call you on the weekend....'!

Number 1, do not use your mother to pass on a message you complete tool.
Number 2, If you think I'm sat here waiting for the royal 'when you decide' phone call anymore you have a massive shock when I don't answer and ask you to contact me via e-mail....

Rant over beautiful ladies! Happy Pancake day Grin!!

Upyerbum70 · 25/02/2020 21:14

@Taddda blimey I’m exhausted just reading about his antics. Hope you are actually having some well earned peace and quiet and enjoying having the sofa/remote control /bed all to your self. Onwards...

mildlymiffed · 25/02/2020 21:39

@Taddda Lordy. We have a chronic case of man-child-itus going on. Tell him to go screw himself. What a loser. Can't tell you what to do, but you know it can't keep on like this. Honestly- where do these guys get off?!

Pack his bags and leave them outside. Tell his mum to pass on the message!

In my little bubble of a world, the Twat of an ex boyfriend has found a new way to annoy the crap out of me. He's blocked on everything. But now (tee-hee, he obvs thinks this is hysterical), he is stalking me on linkedin. By viewing my profile. Which then tells me that's he's viewed my profile. It's like an annoying game of peekaboo. But with a 48-year old arse on one end, and me raising an eyebrow at the other. Sigh.

I've done my son's bday "table" for the morning. He is so excited. He's 10 tomorrow and has told me a million times that it's tomorrow! Squuuuueeeeee! It is super excited. Isn't it sweet that at that age it is amazing to get older. I on the other hand, had a colleague guess my age at 45 (I'm 38)... I told him that it's advisable to go "way below" with a woman's age. He replied "I did".... sob. Sob. Sob. Think he was being funny (hope so.....) I got rather ruffled. He felt bad and offered to buy me chocolate. Which I declined. Although wondering if I should get fatter to fill out the wrinkles!

mildlymiffed · 25/02/2020 21:43

@isthismylifenow I just reread your message. Go for the drink. Why not? Can you make it a platonic meeting? Set expectations low. If you like him, decide then. But at least to put a face to the name?

Mulberry974 · 26/02/2020 09:57

Hope you all enjoyed your pancakes, mine were mixed in their success...

Had a bit of an annoying/galling moment this morning. The woman my ex left me for said hello to me as she walked past, and being vague and too polite I said 'alright' before I realised who it was. I didn't want to ever talk to her, I wanted to remain silent. Gaaah. I don't want her to be friendly, I want her to piss off and leave me alone. Angry

Mulberry974 · 26/02/2020 09:59

I just hope my face looked like thunder. I'm really poor at hiding my feelings so hopefully I didn't look friendly. Cow.

lifegoes · 26/02/2020 10:13

I'm more shocked she had the nerve to say hello @Mulberry974 hope you are ok.

Taddda · 26/02/2020 10:56

@Mulberry974 I'd be Angry about that aswell- she caught you off guard, I'm also surprised at the nerve of her...!- (shoulder brush for you here...)

If I were you I'd now be going over what I'd say/do when I saw her next, trying to counteract the 'alright'....don't be me!! I'd be wrong.....! 'Alright' is fine (I hope it came with a the glare of thunder! Just assume it did...Wink..)

Upyerbum70 · 26/02/2020 11:06

@Mulberry974 why on God’s earth would she think you’d like to let on to each other? Surely she would’ve been better off just looking at something interesting in the other direction and not try to instigate interaction. How odd. And now you’re thinking about it which is just adding to your hassles. Tut. She may think that she’s set a precedent and carry on with the salutations. Hope your face told he otgrr

Upyerbum70 · 26/02/2020 11:06

Posted too early. Forgotten what I meant to say. 🙄

Taddda · 26/02/2020 11:13

Thinking about it though @Mulberry974 , an 'Alright' from you, even if it came with a friendly face kind of says 'you couldn't care less about her', as in she has no effect on you, so possibly a good move!

Mulberry974 · 26/02/2020 12:15

Thanks for the replies, my concentration today is slightly shot. I do hope I looked like thunder or apathetic. I have no clue why she thought it was a good idea to be friendly. Angry The annoying thing is that after he left in early 2017, I didn't actually see her in person until the end of last year, when she decided it was a 'great' idea to get a job in an office about 5 minutes walk away and on my route into work. I would see her in the distance, and I know that she saw me a couple of times, but I just avoided the silly mare. I liked the fact that I could avoid her.

Mulberry974 · 26/02/2020 12:17

I enjoyed blanking her I realise. If I see her again, I shall blank her again I don't want her to have power over me.

mildlymiffed · 26/02/2020 20:16

@Mulberry974 she's a twat. And she knows it. It made her feel somewhat better saying hello... but I'm sure your "who the hell are you" apathetic face said it all. Let her go from your mind though. Otherwise somehow she wins. xx

Upyerbum70 · 26/02/2020 21:36

Evening all. How are you @Mulberry974. Have you finished crocheting the voodoo doll yet? Seriously though , hope you managed to get through your day without letting her infiltrate your thoughts.

Mulberry974 · 26/02/2020 22:33

Hiya

Thanks for the encouragement I really appreciate it. Cake I've had a better evening after an odd day. She's just a sad muppet and I refuse to let her into my head. A friend asked me whether I'd told my ex about it and I decided not to bother, it gives her too much importance.

If only I could crochet Grin

Upyerbum70 · 26/02/2020 22:57

No.. don’t add fuel to the flames. Let the fire go out. And drink tea. Eat chocolate or whatever floats your boat. Don’t allow her the privilege of your precious headspace

isthismylifenow · 27/02/2020 06:00

Mulberry I think that is the right approach, try to not let her get into your head. I know how f*king difficult that is though. The woman my ex left me for works at a place that I have to go to fairly often so I do see her every now and then. At first I didn't know how to react but now if I see her, I just say hello and carry on. I decided that I have to be the better person, and I also thought, as much as it kills me to do it, I don't want her to know she affects me iyswim. So i say hello with my head high but deep down I'm thinking fk you b*tch Blush she won't get the satisfaction of seeing me get upset.

The first time this happened, I ran back to my car and sobbed all the way home. It was a low point but it got a bit easier after the first time.

I don't normally swear profusely but i do when she is the topic haha . It is a form of release....Grin

isthismylifenow · 27/02/2020 06:12

Mildly thanks for the reply, yes I am going on the date. I will just go with an open mind. He has definitely upped the contact now, even sent a song with lyrics along the lines of i really like you.....with a wink Confused. So at least I can go a little bit forewarned and not get caught off guard.

Along with my millionty books I have read within the last month (as this first post divorce break up hit me hard) I started reading Mr Unavailable and the Fallout Girl. I was getting really into it last night and was convinced that book was written for me, as yes I tick the box for everything for being emotionally unavailable. Not sure if that is a good or bad thing just yet. I found a free download and was merrily reading along, turned the page and there is said if you are enjoying the book please purchase it from xyz. Grin. I was Hmm it was really at a very crucial point too haha.

Anyway I will have a look at it again but wasn't going to at midnight when i was a bit knarked at being cut off like that.

I did have a giggle about it though.

isthismylifenow · 27/02/2020 06:25

Welcome Taddda

I had to read the bit twice about getting the message from your mil about stbx's impending phonecall.....

Does he really think you are going to sit in all day waiting for the phone to ring.............

(wish we had a facepalm emoji)