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Original poster

New boyfriend wouldn't give me a lift home...am I right to be annoyed?

223 replies

whatabloodypickle · 30/12/2019 08:57

Saturday night I went out with him and his friend and girlfriend (only first time I met them)
Anyway long story short we missed the last train and he said we could stay at his and girlfriends house.
Then ..next morning,reality set in.
I had slept in my clothes and I had no makeup with me and I looked a treat (not)
My boyfriend said his sister was collecting him and taking him home,I was thinking "hmmm is she taking me home too"so I said
"Would you mind dropping me at the train station and il jump on the train"(thinking he would say il drive you )
He then says .."I really can't,she doesn't like giving lifts to strangers and the train station is 10 mins opposite to the way we are going"
So we go downstairs ..and they make us a cuppa.
Half way through he gets a texts and his sister arrives and he just stands up and says
"She's here,gives me a kiss and leaves and tells me to text once I'm home"
So ..I'm sat on strangers sofa ...looking a state and he has left.
Would you be annoyed too?
Am I being a drama queen ?

OP posts:
Jane1978xx · 30/12/2019 10:31

So he technically cancelled your Sunday lunch date as well ? If something genuinely had come up (which it doesn’t look like) he could have at least got you into a taxi or asked his mate to take you. Seems like a selfish arse.

Crazybunnylady123 · 30/12/2019 10:32

Yeh if a mate left me with people I didn’t know like that I would be ending the friendship, never mind a boyfriend. Poor you you must of felt so awkward! You definitely need to chuck him what an idiot! New year new start! Flowers

RadishesAndLentils · 30/12/2019 10:32

I agree with the pps. I'd dump for this. And it isn't because he's a man and therefore needs to take of you because you're a woman.

You were on his turf and at his friends. If you'd be staying at your friends, would you have just skipped out of the door without even a conversation about how he was getting home?

Not to mention the fact that you already had plans which he bailed on. Was everybody very hungover?

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 30/12/2019 10:33

He sounds about 12 years old. Dump.

Oblomov20 · 30/12/2019 10:34

The guy is a dick.
So glad my husband is old fashioned and has proper values.

Techway · 30/12/2019 10:35

Like a few others my immediate thought, was it really his sister?

It would make complete sense if this was a gf and less so if a sister.

Bowerbird5 · 30/12/2019 10:38

Next time he contacts you tell your going in the other direction ...as far away as possible.

justilou1 · 30/12/2019 10:38

Has it occurred to you that she is not his sister, but his girlfriend, perhaps??? You are the bit on the side. This guy’s a grub.

Vanhi · 30/12/2019 10:39

In a minority of 1 here but the only bit that would bother me is cancelling the lunch plans with no notice. Otherwise it would depend on the situation. In a rural area with limited/ no public transport the whole thing would be really problematic and I'd be furious. In a big city with plenty of transport options I'd just make my own way home, like a grown up. If he's abandoned you at 2am it would be different. The 'no makeup' thing I don't get at all.

Everyone else seems mightily bothered by it though. What has he been like so far OP? Does it put other behaviour in a different light? Is it that you see this as potentially serious but for him you're just someone to hang out with?

custardbear · 30/12/2019 10:40

I'd give up on that one! How old is he? I'm assuming 14

Lllot5 · 30/12/2019 10:40

What did his mate and girlfriend say?
Very odd behaviour, sounds like he couldn’t get away quick enough.
I would dump. Only been three months. Luckily enough you found out quickly what a selfish prick he is.

Sandii · 30/12/2019 10:44

He’s either selfish and inconsiderate ...or ...ashamed of you ....or ....it wasn’t his sister collecting him . In any case YANBU. How embarrassing to be treated so badly in front of people ....were they awkward ? or are they used to him treating girlfriends this way ? Too many 🚩🚩🚩 red flags for my liking ! Get rid .

AnneKipanki · 30/12/2019 10:44

Make your own way home like a grown up .
Make your own way home realising your boyfriend does not give a shit .

pictish · 30/12/2019 10:46

vanhi the assumption is (and I could be wrong) that it’s not a place teeming with transport options. They missed the last train and couldn’t get home so his friends put them up for the night. He got picked up and OP asked to be dropped off at the station 10 minutes away. This all suggests that it’s not a city centre/town location with bus stops and taxis on the doorstep.

BringMeTea · 30/12/2019 10:47

Throw this prince back OP.

HavelockVetinari · 30/12/2019 10:49

Yeah, dump him. Thoughtless at best, a selfish prick most likely.

booboo24 · 30/12/2019 10:50

I'd dump him too, no hesitation. SO unthoughtful just leaving you there

pictish · 30/12/2019 10:50

Even if there are options, good manners dictate you have the conversation. I’m going to take a rain check on lunch, will you be alright getting home etc.

The story about the sister not liking strangers in the car doesn’t ring true either.
Fishy as fuck and rude with it.

Lweji · 30/12/2019 10:53

He needed his sister to pick him up but the OP has to make her own way like a grown up? Hmm

Well, she did, because she is.
The point here is that he didn't care and said no when asked for a favour.

I always offer lifts to friends. His sister/partner was kind enough to collect him.
He's selfish and uncaring.

ShoesandmoreShoes · 30/12/2019 10:54

You've been dating for nearly 4 months and he said 'she doesn't like giving lifts to strangers'? Shock You're not a 'stranger' though are you? You've been dating (sleeping with?) her brother for 4 months.

'the train station is 10 mins opposite to the way we are going' 10 whole minutes?? You weren't worth 10 minutes of time?

Did you actually see this woman? Are you sure it was his sister? Why is he keeping you a secret from his family? Did his friend act as if this was normal? Tbh I think this would be a deal breaker for me. Walk away now and find someone new for 2020.

Nousernameforme · 30/12/2019 10:54

I think he is trying to end things or at least being a shit and hoping you will do it for him.
Tbh I would just ghost him no text no phone call and don't answer his.

NannySusan · 30/12/2019 10:54

I am so sorry, it's horrible to realise that someone you thought was lovely and you might have a long term relationship with is a dickhead.
It happened to me more than once in my twenties. I am so glad I recognised the red flags and dropped them though.
As hurtful as it was at the time, and as hard as it was to be the single one when most of my friends were coupled up.
It is always better to be alone than questioning yourself about obviously wrong situations.

Mummyoflittledragon · 30/12/2019 10:55

I’d also dump him. He’s telling you who he is.

Mostlyhappy4 · 30/12/2019 10:57

I would also get rid. He's not going to get better. You can do better 😁

PegasusReturns · 30/12/2019 10:58

I’d dump him without hesitation. That’s appalling behaviour

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