Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

New boyfriend wouldn't give me a lift home...am I right to be annoyed?

223 replies

whatabloodypickle · 30/12/2019 08:57

Saturday night I went out with him and his friend and girlfriend (only first time I met them)
Anyway long story short we missed the last train and he said we could stay at his and girlfriends house.
Then ..next morning,reality set in.
I had slept in my clothes and I had no makeup with me and I looked a treat (not)
My boyfriend said his sister was collecting him and taking him home,I was thinking "hmmm is she taking me home too"so I said
"Would you mind dropping me at the train station and il jump on the train"(thinking he would say il drive you )
He then says .."I really can't,she doesn't like giving lifts to strangers and the train station is 10 mins opposite to the way we are going"
So we go downstairs ..and they make us a cuppa.
Half way through he gets a texts and his sister arrives and he just stands up and says
"She's here,gives me a kiss and leaves and tells me to text once I'm home"
So ..I'm sat on strangers sofa ...looking a state and he has left.
Would you be annoyed too?
Am I being a drama queen ?

OP posts:
EmmiJay · 30/12/2019 09:46

Run. If there's anything I've learnt in my years, its to read the earliest signs to save yourself the inevitable headache inbthe future. You seem like a decent person who wouldn't do something like that, but he did.

Justaboy · 30/12/2019 09:48

Now thats a real gentleman that one;)..

ButterflyBook · 30/12/2019 09:48

So what happened to the plan for Sunday lunch? How come you didn't both get a train back to yours and then go out for lunch as planned?
Why did he suddenly plan for his sister to pick him up?
He sounds utterly disrespectful and I wouldn't see him again.
He obviously doesn't much care what you think about him and he doesn't think much of you either. Read the signs and act accordingly. Dump.

Wineislifex · 30/12/2019 09:48

Hmm I agree with the PP who questioned if they may not be his sister...

ErickBroch · 30/12/2019 09:49

You need to end it. Be thankful it's happened this early!

SVRT19674 · 30/12/2019 09:49

When I was eighteen i went out with some Greek kids in Athens. One of them made sure I got home, actually accompanied me to the lift door in my aunt's apartment block. I wasn't his girlfriend he was just making sure I got home safely. I have given lifts and so have my friends. we would never leave someone stranded having a car.

strawberry2017 · 30/12/2019 09:50

Wow he's a prince isn't he.
Nice to know he puts himself first.
Lesson learnt - luckily early on!

uptightallright · 30/12/2019 09:52

Did he even ask if you were going to be ok getting home, and did he apologise for not being able to give you a lift? I'm pretty independent and laid back so making my own way home wouldn't bother me. But if he didn't check that you were going to be ok and say sorry for leaving you then that suggests he is very self-centred. Have there been other signs of him being thoughtless/ selfish etc?

Chloemol · 30/12/2019 09:52

Hmm I would now be looking elsewhere

DickDewy · 30/12/2019 09:52

He's done you quite the favour by showing you what he's really like.

Run.

Drybird2020 · 30/12/2019 09:52

This is a chuckable offence. Sorry he turned out to be a loser, you deserve much better.

Honeyroar · 30/12/2019 09:55

What a thoughtless, selfish man. I bet that was really awkward for you and his friends. How did you get to the station? I’d be giving him a swerve.

AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2019 09:55

He sees you as a fuckbuddy.

Doesn't care about your comfort or safety. Isn't proud to show you off to family, in fact HIDES you from them. Doesn't want to have lunch with you if it means he'd miss a free lift home.

Zaphodsotherhead · 30/12/2019 09:56

So. Not only did he leave you alone, in a strange place with strangers, he didn't even offer to call you a taxi or make sure you got to the station safely. He blew off your Sunday lunch plans without a second thought. He deliberately kept you from meeting his sister (you could have said 'hello' when she turned up to fetch him).

How much more of a dick could he have been without kissing his friend's girlfriend in front of you? He is not boyfriend material! Selfish and he left you vulnerable so he could go home with his sister....

Yeah, no. Dump.

ZenNudist · 30/12/2019 09:57

Sorry OP if you really like him. I think you dump him and tell him why. Relationships are hard enough long term with someone who when you first meet goes all out to make you happy. If they are this selfish early on you are looking at future misery.

shadyzadie · 30/12/2019 09:58

If you were both supposed to be getting the train, staying at yours and going to dinner together the next day, the logical thing would have been to get a taxi to the station together the next morning and do just that. So as well as leaving you high and dry he unilaterally cancelled your day together too.

Sorry OP but he's not a keeper. And the sister thing is just weird. Either he doesn't want his family to know about you or she wasn't his sister. I'd personally be very suspicious that he cancelled your day together and drove off with another woman.

fedup21 · 30/12/2019 10:00

You can pretend everything is fine, go out for lunch with him and carry on as normal and he will probably continue to treat you appallingly.

Or you can tell him how rude this was and break up with him.

I am 100% sure which of these I would do.

BobblyRash · 30/12/2019 10:01

If you havent met any of his family,odds on that wasnt his sister.

Yep, especially as your plans of having lunch together were just suddenly 'forgotten' about. Acting so nonchalant about it all is a huge red flag.

How did the friends react to this situation?

IncrediblySadToo · 30/12/2019 10:03

I make friends/make myself at home pretty easily with people and am very used to looking after myself & travelling alone etc.

But there’s no way I’d be seeing him again! I might not ‘need’ looking after, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be with someone who thought behaving like that was acceptable.

He’s not keeper material - just get rid!

New year, new start, new man - one who cares about you!!

Dollymixture22 · 30/12/2019 10:04

It doesn’t sound like he cares for you. He doesn’t make you feel special and doesn’t go out of his way to be kind.

He should have at least ensured you got safely to the train station.

This is not a partner you want.

Okbutno · 30/12/2019 10:04

I feel my user name sums up my feelings on this.

BadgerBadgerMushroom · 30/12/2019 10:06

You deserve way better than that and that's only 4 months in. What will he do down the line? Cut your losses OP. He effectively stranded you somewhere on purpose. Not nice.

Minnie747 · 30/12/2019 10:08

Absolutely wouldn’t be my bf after that! Sorry op, but at least you’ve learnt now and not in 2 years.

BlouseAndSkirt · 30/12/2019 10:10

If the plan was to get the train to yours for Sunday lunch, why didn’t you both just get a taxi to the train?

Adults needing to be picked up by a sister...... sounds a bit pathetic.

10 mins out of her way and then 10 mins back is quite an additional schlepp, when already doing someone a favour, and I’m not sure why you thought the sister should drive you all the way home?

An0nym0us2011 · 30/12/2019 10:10

Are you sure it was his sister...

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.