Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

[TeachesOfPeaches]

Yes solicitor will do all the talking, you just have to sit there. There might only be one waiting room for you all to sit in though, some courts do offer private waiting rooms so do ask.

[TeachesOfPeaches]

My case went on for 2.5 years so I attended courts in Canary Wharf, Bromley, Woolwich and Croydon - each one is different.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

I'm not familiar with court process...
Is there any chance the ex will be representing themselves so instead of his solicitor addressing the OP, the ex could do so?
If so, how best to deal with this?

[QuizzlyBear]

Just read your first thread, OP - I cried when I read that you'd managed to get the courage to leave and I'm in awe of you and how well you've handled such a horrific situation. You should be so proud of yourself as a person - but especially as a mum. You've protected and listened to your son and I have no doubt that his life (and yours!) will be a thousand times better from here on in.

Today must be so terrifying for you - but this man has been exposed to everyone for what he is. His power came from nobody else knowing the kind of person he is - now he has no power over you and won't ever again. Good luck OP, we're all thinking of you

[QueenOfOversharing]

@Fedupofitnow123

I've just read your first thread & am so, so happy that you are out of that horrific place. Good luck today - I'm thinking of you (as I'm sure are everyone on your threads). Stay strong, think of your little DS & leaving being his dreams come true.

I fled my son's dad 21 years ago while pregnant with DS after horrific violence. I went through all those emotions, I felt sorry for him, I grieved that "family" I had wanted so desperately. But if I can tell you anything now, it is that our lives are safe and free - I started contact through a contact centre with ex, but had to stop as he continued his threats of abuse. My son hasn't now seen his dad in 19 years & has grown up to be an incredible young man. And for me, that terror & dread slowly eased.

I hope today goes well - if I knew where you were going to be, I'd be there to support. But I'm there in spirit, standing between you & that piece of shit.

Once today is over, I can give you pointers on things that have helped me along the way, if ever you need.

Take care, you are stronger than you will ever know.

[TeachesOfPeaches]

No the solicitor will deal with him

[IfWishesWereFishes]

Good luck today OP

[Span1elsRock]

I've just read both threads.

Jesus wept. Thank god you got out. And are safe.

[Flick9670]

Good luck today will be thinking of you and sending virtual hugs xx

[SeaViewBliss]

I've been following your thread but just wanted to pop on and say the best if luck today. You are a strong person and an amazing Mother. Your DS sounds like a special boy and you are so lucky to have each other.

Hope it isn't too traumatic today.

[user1473878824]

Best of luck OP xxx

[Ravenrob]

Just read your full thread.
You're incredible. Your DS sounds like a lovely boy. Good luck for today.

[Jokie]

I'm another that has read through the last thread. Good luck today and if you're nervous, imagine an entire courtroom filled virtually with all of these posters and we've got your back and we're here for you.

Good luck to @toxiccat too. Did you manage to get a male person also in attendance?

[ToxicCat]

@Jokie, thank you ever so much, my DP finished work earlier this morning and slept in the car on the way,

[KatherineJaneway]

Good luck OP, rooting for you

[Iamagree]

You are amazing, and you have done so much already. Your DS is lucky to have you for his mum

[Fedupofitnow123]

Time now. Solicitor is not here. Freaking out.

[Doingitaloneandproud]

I have only just read your other thread, but you are honestly such a brave and strong woman, keep your head high, Hopefully the soliciter is a few minutes late and shows, good luck for today x

[coconutpie]

Oh OP, I have been thinking of you. I am so happy that you and your DS were able to escape. Good luck for today. If your solicitor hasn't shown up, have they contacted you at all?

[BeUpStanding]

Focus on your breathing. Let your sister and BIL talk to the court officials and phone the solicitor etc.

Keep concentrating on your breathing. Try to keep it deep and slow.

Best of luck today - imagine your army of mumsnetters surrounding you

[Apolloanddaphne]

Courts are notorious for running late. Don't let this panic you. Focus on your breathing. You got this.

[NothingHasBrokenMeYet]

I'm popping on to handhold. I'm in the exact situation atm.

I also experienced the feelings of guilt for "breaking up a family". Its completely natural to grieve, too.

You have given your child safety, security, and love. No child could ask for better than you.

You are enough.

Please feel free to PM me if you ever want to chat.

You've got this.

Nothing has broken you yet.

[toomuchtooold]

Best of luck OP. You're fantastic. I've just read your whole previous thread and you should be so proud of yourself for getting out of there. I hope your solicitor is there now and it'll be over soon.

[DM1209]

OP, you are one phenomenal lady! Do not forget that.

Regarding Court, find the Usher, he/she is the person you need to speak to you. Your Solicitor may well have called to say they're running late, you do not have to see the judge until you have legal representation so don't be intimidated. It may mean a little more waiting but hold your nerve.

You can absolutely do this!!!!!

[Beautiful3]

Well done for being so brave. It's a difficult time right now. But when you get to the other side you will feel so free, and wonderful. I wish you all the very best.