Ex dp, ds, fake name, extra kids, second thread

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you for your continued support, I'm starting this thread regarding the impending court hearing tomorrow, if someone could link my previous thread that would ne highly appreciated!

[TheTiaraManager]

Great update that you and the DC are doing well

[Windyatthebeach]

Congratulations op! Your ds1 is an absolute credit to YOU!!
I am a decade past an abusive relationship..
Exh is a dark but distant memory. Your future is now bright op. Your dc are safe and so are you.
I know mn will be of support as long as you need us..

[1WildTeaParty]

News-not need!

[1WildTeaParty]

Congratulations-catching up on your lovely need. All the best to your (just the right size now) family 😀

[flamingochill]

Fantastic update OP. Wishing you and the boys a happily ever after

[BumbleBeee69]

great times OP...

[TacoLover]

I've also just read both threads and am so happy that it turned out well for you OP. Mumsnet really can help people change their lives for the better!!

[scotsllb]

Read both your threads from start to finish and wow!! What an inspirational woman you are!
Congratulations with Ds2 and what a lovely son you have.
Keep doing what your doing and your future will continue to be amazing.

[REignbow]

I’m glad and pleased at what a bond you all have. Just take one day at a time. Remember, the longer you have in your bubble the more healing will take place.

[stophuggingme]

So pleased you are all ok and congratulations
I had my third baby when I was going through something similar and a horrible court time so I know how hard it all is.
You are doing so well. One day you really will be completely free and you will look back on all this.
Sending love

[truthisarevolutionaryact]

What a lovely story - he's an absolute gem. Well done for nurturing such a thoughtful child.
I've posted on your threads (under a different name) and it's great to read about the progress you've made. So courageous.

[backseatcookers]

I left ds2 asleep in the bouncer one day and asked ds1 to keep an ear out. When I came out ds2 was in ds1 arms, I asked how long he'd been awake and ds1 said "as soon as you got in the shower" asked why he hadn't come and got me as I leave the door unlocked for that reason which he knew and he said "why? You look after us all day, I'll let you have your time"... I cried like a baby. Just his general kindness and what a beautiful boy! I've told him he must get me but what a wonderful boy.

Bloody hell this just made me blubber - he is the loveliest boy!

Oh I am just so happy for you. No matter what, you are going to have THE most incredible bond with your brilliant boys forever.

Hold on to that (I know you already do, just bears repeating) because it is proof of what an equally brilliant mum you are.

We told you the MN army was behind you and we really are.

This is uncharacteristically soft for me but your thread has touched me for the duration of it and I feel very proud of you and your boys and excited for your future, all three of you!

[Fedupofitnow123]

@backseatcookers he is an amazing big brother, he loves ds2 so very much and showers him in love and affection.

He looks after ds2 more than his own dad looked after him as a baby, even that opened my eyes that bit more.

I left ds2 asleep in the bouncer one day and asked ds1 to keep an ear out. When I came out ds2 was in ds1 arms, I asked how long he'd been awake and ds1 said "as soon as you got in the shower" asked why he hadn't come and got me as I leave the door unlocked for that reason which he knew and he said "why? You look after us all day, I'll let you have your time"... I cried like a baby. Just his general kindness and what a beautiful boy! I've told him he must get me but what a wonderful boy.

In contrast, when ds1 was a baby ex told me not to have a long shower as a way for a break and that I wasnt having half an hour break otherwise I'd want an hour!

[backseatcookers]

I just dont want court to start back up, we are so happy in our little bubble, life is so peaceful and ds has said how relaxed he feels and how it is so nice to go out when we want (after 4pm as usually we would be rushing back because of ex finishing work) and how he isn't worried about returning home because ex isnt there and he doesnt have to try and work out what mood he will be in!

This made me really emotional, he sounds like just the loveliest wisest little boy and you sound like a brilliant mum who is setting him such a great example in the way you've handled all this. I think of you often as I'm sure do lots of people who have been following your journey from the start - you've done so incredibly well. I bet he is the best big brother too!

[AcrossthePond55]

Enjoy the peace of today, let tomorrow worry about tomorrow for now.

Remember that each day of peace you have you are silently building strength and calm for whatever lies ahead.

“You are Braver than you believe, Stronger than you seem, and Smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin (AA Milne)

[Fedupofitnow123]

@Love0910 thank you, it has been a real big rollercoaster but mumsnet has been amazing in support

[Love0910]

Wow, just read both threads and what an amazing woman you are OP!
Happy to know you are okay now

[Fedupofitnow123]

@Reignbow I am ok thank you! Been so busy looking after little one and have loved the courts being closed.

I have applied for child maintenance but wx has refused to cooperate so far, he is ignoring them but has put 40 in my account here and there, totalling less than 200 though so far! So less than 200 in 7 months! They have asked if I accept it and I've said no so they will be pursuing him further! .

I just dont want court to start back up, we are so happy in our little bubble, life is so peaceful and ds has said how relaxed he feels and how it is so nice to go out when we want (after 4pm as usually we would be rushing back because of ex finishing work) and how he isn't worried about returning home because ex isnt there and he doesnt have to try and work out what mood he will be in!

It's just so nice!

[REignbow]

How are you doing @Fedupofitnow123?

[Namechange2020onceagain]

Apart from the bastard hormones the reason you are finding it hard now is probably because you feel safe in your new home.

The adrenaline keeps you going though the tough times and when you relax, you get weepy and the shakes. It's totally normal, like a pressure release valve. Crying also releases endorphins which make you feel better.

Already you are in a much much better place. It takes time to heal. Be kind to yourself.

[Grrrpredictivetex]

@Fedupofitnow123 don't forget you've just had a baby, your hormones will be all over the place regardless on top of all you've been through. You're doing brilliantly and don't put pressure on yourself. Keep doing what you're doing but if you feel things are getting on top of you speak to your dr. Hormones are complicated things and can leap around. Don't wait if you're feeling too sad or upset speak to somebody and get some RL support. Hugs to you x

[Fedupofitnow123]

Thank you to you all, you have been so kind and everyone has supported me through some real difficult times.

I'm finding it hard some days now, think the massive changes that have happened in the past 5 months might be really hitting me and I feel like crying a lot of the time, so I've dug my notebook out and will try and write it down in poetry, something I used to do before I met my ex.

I really thank you for your kind offers of Amazon wishlist, but I couldn't accept these, thank you so so much for the consideration though, it really is so kind

[Kevinbaconsrealwife]

Wonderful news my lovely!!! All the love and Congratulations to you and both your lovely boys xx

[Getlostu]

Congratulations. All the best to you all

[Namechange2020onceagain]

I was also on your first thread under a different name.

You are amazing and so is your DS1, it made me cry too when you said your son was so happy about the new home.

You have both been through a lot and come out smiling, you have so much resilience.

I would also love to buy you a home warming and new baby gift. I know it’s against the MN rules, but if you could DM me your Amazon wish list, I would love to get you anything you need or a nice item you just want.

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