He won't accept we're separated

[cece]

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

Ironically they've been at my friends house for a month and I'd just got them back as he'd moved out. I'm kicking myself

I wonder if he realised.

I think I'd drive to his flat and demand them back with threats of police that I would definitely act upon if he didn't hand them over.

A ring doorbell will show any comings or goings

I think you need recommendations for a forensic accountant, I am sure he has been trying to hide money ever since you told him you wanted to divorce. I do wonder if the begging had all been about trying to delay whilst he tried to get his ducks in a row.

Daughter is going to go visit him and see if she can see it

Perhaps she can stay there whilst he is out and have a good proper look!

He probably won't go out but will probably get engrossed in tv program...

you're doing great OP

I'm feeling very anxious. In the past three days I've been popping indigestion tablets like they're going out of fashion.

Thanks bumble

On top of this I'm also trying to deal with my sons secondary school placement. He's been allocated a school we didn't even apply too 😱

Don't muck about with spy children. Police. Theft. Simple. Put the bloody wind up him so he never does this again.

She's not going now.

What's in the papers he took?

Stay strong

I know it’s hard, but hold that image in your mind of your life without him in it. This will all be over soon. The worst is over. He’s out the house. Maybe you could ask your solicitors to agree that he needs to give notice for turning up at the house to avoid friction for the children etc.

I've spoken to a women's advice line and they said I could apply for an occupation order. Does anyone had one?

I'm so embarrassed. I woke up this morning with a start as I had remembered where I'd put my 'missing' bag. And there it was!

So it just shows it's worth sleeping on things. The bag is untouched and still in my possession.

Glad you found it but I wonder what he was doing there so long then??

What a relief!

Glad you e found your bag op, maybe you still need to leave the important docs etc with friends

Oh good. But take it as a warning and get important stuff somewhere safe.

Good. I wonder what he was searching for or otherwise doing when he came. Maybe just marking territory to wind you up.

I'd be looking for any wee hidden cameras or microphones he could have placed. Fake plug sockets ect...

He sounds crazy and obsessed enough to do these things. And they are easily bought.

He was up to something in your house that's for sure. Take the docs back to your mates!

He's moved out and you have a right to protect your kids, change the locks.

He may well have been looking for paperwork, knew you were away, & went digging. Glad you found the docs. Ooof

I think it's time to get any important documents out the house to a safe place. That way even if he snoops he finds nothing.