He won't accept we're separated

[cece]

We split nearly three months ago after I found out about an inappropriate relationship with another woman. It's not the first time and I said if it happened again we'd split. So we have.

However, he's still messaging me daily to ask me to talk about saving our marriage. I've told him repeatedly I don't want to talk about this as it's over. I feel trapped. He's just not listening to me.

Tell him to take it with him!!!

Anything he hasn't removed presumably he doesn't want and you can get rid of...

Do you have a garage you could put it in?

It is in the garage. I'd piled all of his stuff on it so he'll have had to move it all before he used it 😂

@zagzig sorry you're experiencing it too.

You can change the lock if he's moved elsewhere.

Landlords cannot just enter the property they own any time they wish.

Go to the police. Tell them he's refusing to accept the end, wont leave you alone, wont stop messaging you, wont stop entering the house, despite living elsewhere. It's harrassment.

Get an occupation order and a restraining order.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I'm down your way and got a few spare hours on Saturday, fancy a new patio?

Cut the plug off... or actually remove/blow the fuse?

It really does sound like harrassment now and I’m sure he shouldn’t just be letting himself in the house when you’re not there. No doubt snooping!

I've had another message now rambling on about his family home that he put his dad's inheritance into. 🙄

News to me. I thought he'd left all his money to his wife (my ex mil)

Change the lock on the back door. Leave a key in the front. He still technically has access through the front door. Not your fault you 'forgot' and left the key in when you left.

I think it's absolutely crazy that someone can just walk in to a house they no longer live in. You really need to get the ball rolling in court.

Send msg saying as you are in my house, take all the shit that is on the treadmill as you leave. If not its going to the dump along with treadmill.
Then don't think about it again, you are on holiday enjoy being away with them & not him. when you get back, if it's still there, tell him as of X day it will be in the front, then going to the dump, (get it in writing.)
Then change the locks

He may use the fact that you are not there as an excuse to have a snoop around.

I would return home unexpectedly and find out what he's actually up to. If he claims he needs access to use the treadmill and hasn't gone near it then he using the treadmill as an excuse to gain access to the house.

I think you need to lose your keys ASAP. I also think you need to have a chat with your insurance company. If he can come and go as he pleases that could affect your premiums and ability to claim. That alone would be sufficient grounds for changing the locks IMHO.

I would say "oh how much of your inheritance did you put into the house? I can discuss with my solicitor ring fencing it."

Obviously if he did inherit bad did put it into the family home it's tough shit on him as it's now family money....

At the time there was no mention of any inheritance money so he's either lying now or was lying then.

Exactly so catch him out on it by pretending that you think it should be ring fenced...

It seems likely he has far more money than you ever knew about it!

If he got inheritance from his dad, he would have a letter from a solicitor with the amount on and should be able to get evidence. Otherwise he is lying

And if he has put it into buying your home, it has already become family money so he won't have a leg to stand on, as a pp has said.

He definitely has more money than I knew about.

Look what is he going to do if you change the lock. Just do it. It will be a civil matter and he would need to take you to court. He has a new tenancy. I cannot just walk-in to my ex house. He’s left the house now.

He definitely has more money than I knew about.

No surprise there, right?

At this point it doesn't matter. If he didn't have it ring-fenced then the more fool him. Too late to do anything about that now. Other than him trying to play on your sympathy so you'll be hopefully guilted into giving him more than his fair share.

Don't put anything in writing acknowledging that he may (or may not) have used part of an inheritance to pay for the house. At this point, put nothing in writing about finances at all, unless it has been vetted by your solicitor.

The financial 'game playing' is about to begin. His trying to play on your sympathy about the house is just the beginning gambit.

He is just the gift that keeps on giving

Keys left in the door from now on.

Id be checking the house top to bottom when i got back.

@acrossthepond55

Yes the games playing has definitely started.!

.

I'm home.

It looks like no one has been on treadmill as boxes don't seem to have moved.

On the other hand I'm panicking slightly that a bag of paperwork/folder seems to be missing. Although, I'm not 100% sure it was where I thought it was. I'm trying to remember where I put it..

He was coming in to search the house. It was never going to be for a run.

Take a photo of the treadmill clearly unused.

Call the police about the theft of financial documents.

I hope you find the box.

This is the real reason to change those damned locks. Let him kick up a fuss. I'd assume he'll need to get a court order to make you change them back. Or he can show up with the police to make you let him in. That's all to the good. You can explain to the police just why you don't want him in the house. Because things go missing when he's been there.

If you find the box, or have other important boxes or files, it's time to get them out of the house. Take them to a friend's, a relative's, take them to work if you have a place to safely store them. But get them out of the house.