Why doesn't he want me as his girlfriend?

[sadaboutlife]

There's a guy who I really have started to develop feelings for.
We have just got back from a 3 day break together and it was honestly brilliant.
We get on so well,we laughed non stop,had such a good time,talk about anything and everything.
He doesn't want a relationship.
He was talking about his friend who cheats on his girlfriend and said "this is why I don't get with girls"
He has openly said he is sleeping with other women and texting them but told me that I'm the one he speaks to most and has the best "crack"
I miss him already.
When he was nearly home he kept saying
"Only 16 mins left together"
"This weekend gone too fast"
I'm not sure when I'm gonna see him next as he has said ..he can't do the relationship thing.
I'm hoping this weekend away changed his mind.
Why can't he give up sleeping with others and give things a proper go?

Cos he's just not that into you.

If he wanted to be with you he would. Simple as that.

I have to tell myself this a lot.

Because he’s an arsehole.

He has openly said he is sleeping with other women and texting them but told me that I'm the one he speaks to most and has the best "crack"
This means you are an easy shag.
The easiest he's getting at the moment.
Please, for the love of god, raise your bar!!!!
In his defence, he's been totally honest with you.
If you want to accept the scraps he can be bothered to throw you then carry on.
If you want to catch an STD/I then carry on. He's a player!
If you want a relationship with someone then ditch him and move on.

If you are both happy being FWB then this is great, but you're clearly wanting more and he isn't. Honestly, don't waste your time asking why. If he doesn't want a relationship, stop wasting time on him and find someone who does. x

Good on him for being honest with you. If you continue to waste your time with him then that's YOUR problem.

@hellsbellsmelons implying the lady is easy and going to catch an STI is ridiculous. If she's enjoying sex with the bloke and is being safe then don't try to make her feel cheap about it. There's nothing wrong with having sex just for the fun of it, as long as you are safe about it.

The issue here is that she wants more of a relationship and he doesn't.

Because you don't require him to.

He can stick his dick in whomever he sees and you'll still be available to said dick regardless.

He's got it made. Why would he change?

He has openly said he is sleeping with other women and texting them but told me that I'm the one he speaks to most and has the best "crack"

christ he's a catch huh..

Its not you he doesn't want. He doesn't want any full time girlfriends. It is quite probably the case that he has these sorts of weekends quite often and says the same thing to everyone.

He is telling you, so listen.

Look at it in the same way as him. No strings.

he doesn't get with girls?

Is he trying to tell you he is gay?

Because he's nasty. He likes the ego boost. He may say he doesn't 'get with girls' but he probably knows that this is more than just sex for you - yet he keeps you around anyway-because screw your feelings, it gives him an ego boost. He likes to think of you pining away for him.

You don't want the same things. He wantsa fk buddy, you want a relationship. The later, isn't going to happen. Ever. Yes, ever. Time to walk away.

Never ever said there is anything wrong with having sex.
I'm just stating that HE is sleeping around!
He's made that clear as day.
So OP is now far more susceptible to STD's or STI's.
That's a fact!
I'm not implying anything. Condoms do not protect you from all STD's or STI's - that is another fact!!!!

Don’t try to change him. You will only be disappointed. Cast your net a little wider and find someone who wants to be with you and only you.

@BumbleBeee69 I think she means 'craic' as in chat/banter.

told me that I'm the one he speaks to most and has the best "crack"

You think you're the only one he's saying that to? He's told you he sleeps around and doesn't want a relationship. Either accept being one of a harem or move on.

You're sleeping together, right? If you're happy with no-strings sex, crack on. But if you're sleeping with him and hoping it'll somehow morph into a relationship you are absolutely 100% wasting your time.

You are not the 'one' . ( whatever that is )
He has his life as he wants it just now . Why change ? At least he is honest with you . If it is not what you want , move on .

I understood it to mean 'craic' too. I hope that's what OP meant!

@hellsbellsmelons
This means you are an easy shag.
The easiest he's getting at the moment.
If you want to catch an STD/I then carry on. He's a player!

I'm sure telling her she is an easy shag wasn't meant in any negative way.

I don't see how he's nasty or an arsehole. He's not leading the op on. He's being clear this is fwb, and he doesn't wish more, he doesn't wish a relationship and he is seeing other people.

If the op chooses to be with him under these conditions then it's on her. He would only be nasty or an arsehole if he was lying through his teeth and pretending if she shagged him shed be in an exclusive relationship with him

It's not on the cards. He doesn't wish this with her. He couldn't be clearer.

Op, if this isn't what you want stop hanging in there accepting crumbs. It's not going to change in the way you want, in fact although it will change, it will change in a way you don't want, when he meets someone he does wish to be in a relationship with and ends it with you.

Honestly - he doesn't sound like someone you should pay any more attention to.

Whether or not he is using you for sex (possible) or even if he likes you a bit more than the other women he's shagging, I would try very hard not to get too attached to him.

I have a feeling that heartbreak lies just around the corner for you if you continue to see him on his terms.

If he wanted to be exclusive with you he would have said so. The fact that he hasn't said so speaks volumes.

If he suggests another weekend away, refuse. Unless he is willing to date you and nobody else you're not going to feel happy in this relationship.

He doesn't sound like a very nice person TBH. Sorry, OP.

Your title is wrong it should read

'Why do I want him to be my boyfriend ' ?

I'm hoping this weekend away changed his mind.
Why can't he give up sleeping with others and give things a proper go?

It doesn't sound like this weekend changed his mind one bit.

And he can't give up sleeping with others because he enjoys sleeping with others, sadly for you.

Raise your standards and cut him loose.

I’m sorry, but he’s probably telling everyone he’s shagging the same thing. He likely doesn’t want to be tied to any one person, and is being somewhat honest about that, at least. If you want a relationship with this guy, you’re wasting your time.

I understood it to mean 'craic' too. I hope that's what OP meant!

Aaahhh hahahahahaaaaaaa aye me too