i hate it and it makes me feel like shit. AM I WRONG?

[lollyroffled]

my partner buys these mags that really upset me (namely zoo/nuts) especially since i've just had a baby and my confidence is zip. he mainly hides this fact from me, but i have womans intuition and i just know. last night he came home and i saw the latest copy in his bag and i felt sick, it just felt like the last straw, there's me looking scruffy covered in sick, totally stressed out.

he never romances me (i have asked him loads of times to do something nice for each other, i need to feel loved and wanted and all the other mushy stuff) i'm just the woman that looks after his baby, cleans the house and i feel like a total mug.

this morning i went into our lounge and found that not only had he decided to masturbate into his sock (i thought this was reserved for teenagers?) but that he has also left it for me to tidy up.

i am so angry and disappointed.

am i wrong to feel like this? am i wrong to want him to stop buying these mags and make more of an effort with me?

I held my tongue before Whiskey but really, a sock? Why a sock?!

See, you didn't have to search hard for a bloke who hasn't whacked off into a sock!

Well done for having that courage, Meeely. It seems it saved your relationship.

Now, earmuffs, they're a different matter.

no well the only one who knows what is really happening is the op.
but i was just of the opinion that (unless she thinks he's going to be violent) that to at least be there to see him face to face before she leaves would help (at least it certainly would if it was me) as then there would be a bit of respect (even if he has not been showing her any) but most importantly it would be a case of him physically seeing her leave which might ring home with him. also where there is children involved it gives him a chance to put his side forward if he thinks that they should stay at home with him but also if he accepts they are leaving he gets to say goodbye properly and give a "you get to go on a holiday/be good for mummy speach" rather than her assuming she has a divine right to the children over him (what he might think,not really the argument here) but also he doesn't know what the kids have been told if they leave without him seeing them (e.g. was mummy bad mouthing daddy).
also if he either finds out in work and has all day to stew about coming home to an empty house or just arrives home to an empty house he won't feel any sympathy for his wife or look to himself he will most likely first feel sorry for himself,then be angry and get hammered for the night as he will not have seen his wife leaving with the kids looking run down and maybe in tears.in his mind she will have a vindictive smile on her face.
as i've said this is just my male perspective on the issue and how i would probably react in said circumstances.

"held my tongue before Whiskey but really, a sock? Why a sock?!

See, you didn't have to search hard for a bloke who hasn't whacked off into a sock"

really?never?
emm there's really 3 answers to that question the first two mainly apply to the formative years of whacking off and the third was the reason why maybe twice in my adult life i have used a sock.
but i'm not sure if this is the thread for it.

'some' men, not necessarily you whiskey, are so up themselves that they don't believe things have got to breaking point until they are past breaking point. So you can talk til you are blue in the face - this needs to change, that needs to change and all you get back, is yeah yeah whatever, wheres me sock (!). Sometimes, just sometimes, actions are better, makes them think - shite they can live without me, maybe I do need to make an effort.....

OK, just asked my dh if he has ever wanked into a sock. He laughed -alot- and said 'NO of course not!!'

To be honest, I never thought men really did things like wanking in socks. Is it the friction or is it to prevent mess? I can't imagine the latter and surely the former just causes friction burns? I thought when that bloke on Game On, wanked into a hoover's suction pipe, that was just far-fetched comedy. I thought men were happy with their hands, other people's hands, maybe sex toys.. LOL. Oh, how this 24 year old has things to learn!

There was that episode of nightynight where they used a sock as contraception. PMSL.

Meeely, you did the right thing for you, and a brave thing to do it was too.

"i'm not sure if this is the thread for it"

True, point taken. Even Lolly has acknowledged that it has it's humorous side though.

I can see Meeelys point that maybe he needs to be shaken up, especially if he's such an oaf that he won't even talk about problems. I just have a a funny feeling that he doesn't even see a problem, doesn't even know he's left his sock, and won't know what Lolly is upset and stressed about. Only fair to give him a chance to change before storming out, even if it's as a wake up call

whisky...no we really want to know now...

oh no meely i accept that and if it worked for you then great, i'm happy for you.
i just thought another perspective was needed as there is no universal rule for these situations. and as such if my other half took the actions you did i don't think it would work on me.i'd imagine it would send me into some self-righteous "i'm the victim, who does she think she is etc." kind of reaction. so i just thought that if the op saw something in my posts which might seem like her husband my approach might be helpful.
as i've said different strokes for different folks, some people need an arm around the shoulder and a pat on the back.others need a kick up the arse.

ok the 3 reasons
1.because i could
2. why not
in fairness the first two apply to all weird and wonderfull things we do with our knobs when in our teens
3. i was in bed and what started as a scratch turned into something more.i didn't want to mess up the bed but i had even less of a desire to get up and get some tissue from the toilet. hey presto.sock out of drawer.tackle --> sock. no messed bed.

whiskey - thanks for the honesty.
To be honest i can kind of understand that...but leaving it for the wife to find..ewwwww...
Why are men so squeamish about getting it over themselves though? Couldn't you just wipe your stomach/chest afterwards? sorry if tmi

That would still mean getting out of bed though DDF.

Admire your politeness/optimism with the 'chest' though.

that's me ever optimistic...

How are you today Lolly?? Hope you're feeling a wee bit better.

lolly??

hi guys, sorry for worrying you all.

i went to stay at a friends, we've in the process of making up, i've put my foot down about a few things so hopefully things will get better now.

lolly x