I sent this text to myself at 1am

[Nomorebagels]

‘He shouted at me, told me to ‘fuck off bitch’, and raised his fist at me. He told me I’d be a sad spinster like my friend who has just become single.’
I sent it because I wanted to look at what happened in the cold light of day and evaluate. He stormed out and has not apologised. Four years together, no DC.
We argued because he parked his car across three of the neighbours spaces because one of their cars was in his and he was raging about that. I dared to tell him he was being unreasonable and he got mad.
He’s not a nice man is he?

No, you need to leave him.

End this relationship. You deserve better.

Thank god you have no DC...hopefully he wont come back. He is not a nice man, abusive and threatened violence

No he's not. Don't let his issues become yours and end it.

Thank you for the replies. I’m kind of numb because he has never, in all this time, threatened me or even really shouted at me. If we rowed he would always walk away and calm down. He had his fist raised in a punch gesture and I literally couldn’t - and still can’t - believe what was happening.

No DC is a blessing! Cut him out of your life completely and never look back!

My first ever LTB.

That's a line crossed. I'm sorry OP.

I’m glad you sent to yourself that message - sometimes in the light of day you can end up diminishing what happened and thinking you must have misremembered or something.

He’s shown his true colours, not just by his nasty behaviour but by the lack of any remorse about it today.

4 years is a long time for him to have hidden this side of him. Are you sure there haven’t been other times, looking back now through the lens of this incident, when he’s shown his lack of respect for you?

Yep. Leave him.

Sorry that happened. So clever of you to have sent that text. Even if you still love him, you know what to do as you will never be able to trust him again - especially around any future DC when you will both be stressed and exhausted.

It’s also strange and sinister that he has kept that side invisible for the past four years - thank god you saw it now before it’s too late and you can leave without hugely significant consequences. Who knows what other personality traits he is hiding.

Good luck. Keep us posted as will be hoping you are ok.

He sounds awful. Leave him.

LTB op x

Jeez, I'd rather be a 'sad spinster' than to stay with him. You sent a message to yourself - listen 💐

Not good (understatement!)

This was your 5 minute warning, use it.

Don't downplay it! You were obviously scared at the time and meant to have a concrete reminder of how he was at that time.

You can walk away!

I’d be a sad spinster like my friend who has just become single.’

No, you would be happy and fear free. He’s behaved badly and if you stay he will only get worse.

Well done for sending that text. Please act on it. x

Again, thanks for the replies. He’s now blocked me on social media. I’m still stunned. 24 hours ago we were absolutely fine. There’s honestly never been anything like this before. He did used to get a bit mad when we argued - as did I - but never a hint of this. I once sent myself a text about a year into the argument - again early hours! - because he seemed to hate me having an opinion which contradicted his. Now wondering if i’ve Subconsciously been toning down my opinions to keep the peace.

Please please end this relationship and thank your stars that you don't have children with him.

You wouldn't be a sad spinster.
You'd be an independent woman able to do and decide what she wanted, and he can't bear the thought of that.

Tell me @Addicted when is raising a fist acceptable behaviour?

He's blocked you on social media for daring to disagree with him for the first time in 4 years? Sounds like an actual narcissist.
My first ever LTB too.
Run and don't look back.

I agree with other posters - OP please LTB. Good luck.