I sent this text to myself at 1am

[Nomorebagels]

‘He shouted at me, told me to ‘fuck off bitch’, and raised his fist at me. He told me I’d be a sad spinster like my friend who has just become single.’
I sent it because I wanted to look at what happened in the cold light of day and evaluate. He stormed out and has not apologised. Four years together, no DC.
We argued because he parked his car across three of the neighbours spaces because one of their cars was in his and he was raging about that. I dared to tell him he was being unreasonable and he got mad.
He’s not a nice man is he?

His behaviour is pretty typical of an abusive fuckwit...just behave like you haven't done anything wrong.

I think you are naive. But best of luck. Narcissistic people are quite scary when they believe they are about to lose something.

Don’t be surprised if he stays in your house tomorrow morning.

I am deliberately not doing anything to engage with/annoy him and just talking to everyone here while the tv is on. He’s quite happy doing his own thing on his laptop and is ignoring me. So as long as we continue like this I think I can get away with the let’s have a break line/ we’ve not been getting on recently and can reconnect in a few days.

Please let us know you're ok OP.

@getupgonow I am ok, thanks for your concern. He’s never been controlling about my phone so i’m free to talk on here. Everyone has been such a help today in getting my head straight on a really difficult day

Nomorebagels please keep your phone nearby, and ready to dial someone very nearby for help, should need it. You are doing the right thing, but poking the bear when alone may not be the best right now.

I hope I'm wrong. Be safe.

I hope last night went okay Nomorebagels and that you manage to get him out and the locks changed

He’s gone without too much protestation. He thinks it’s just for a couple of days but it’s not. Thanks everyone for your advice yesterday which really helped me see that he’s not who I thought he was.

Get a locksmith out pronto. Do you have a friend who could drop his stuff off at his place?

Can you put a chain on whilst you are in. And do you have a back door that you can go out from instead and leave the chain on the front door.
YouTube your lock type. You can just change the barrel, you just need a screwdriver I think. Take a photo of your door and go to your local diy shop.
Good luck

Good to hear that bagels. Take care xx

Please change the locks asap. Pack up his stuff and have it sent to him rather than give him a reason to return to your place. If he does have to come back for his stuff then just make sure you have someone there with you. Don't engage in any pleading though he doesn't sound like the type who will even bother pleading to take him back.

Well done. xxx

Phew - well done OP.
Now next steps.
Get them in place.
Get some support around you.
Take action.
Good luck!

Definitely be quick about the locksmith as the thing a bout narcissists is they do things on their terms. So if you agreed on a few days, he might rock up sooner than planned. Or keep 'nipping back' for certain items throughout the time.

If he's left anything, box it up at the ready and if pos, leave it on the garage or take it to his mums. Don't let him back in the house.

The cost of an emergency call by a locksmith may be well worth it if you can afford it.

Otherwise get to a home store for a new lock barrel today.

Well done Nomorebagels.

Great job,dear! Stay safe and keep your head on a swivel after the locks are changed

Well done op, fab step. Stay strong though, my hunch is that when he all dawns in him, he might not be best pleased. Get physical support there if you can when you need it.

Phew! Relieved to read the update. Now cancel the cheque, errr I mean change the lock

Well done OP, I would also change the locks today if you can.